What's a long but still reasonable commute?

[Mariagatzs12]

I'm considering a 90min commute each way. That would bring in about 1k to 1.2k net extra each month. Is it worth it? I've lived in London before so I know this commute isn't entirely crazy but I don't know if the extra fuel costs would reduce it massively.

DH technically has a 45 min drive when he goes to the office. He has never done it in under an hour, regularly takes him 90 mins, and often 2hrs+.
Give it a go at rush hour one day, and see quite how long it might take you.

It’s not going to be fun but could you give yours time limit on it... say to yourself you’ll do it for a year and then look for other opportunities. You’ll also have a foot in the door then and they may allow more working from home.
I managed to get 2 days a week working from home when I had a 2 hour commute and that was doable.

It varies wildly. I used to have an hour commute and hated it. Other people do double that and don't mind.

Yes Random that would be the case. In a previous role I had to spend weeks at a time in the US/Eastern Europe and my eldest was 2 when I started that role. Sometimes being away is inevitable.

I’ve done 75 minutes minimum each way; hated it. I’ve now got 1 hour MSc each way, often 40 mins of traffic is behaving. Makes a huge difference, I’m much happier and less tired. It has redressed a work/life balance that was out of kilter.

My current train journey into London is c. 20mins, but door to door takes me an hr (walk/ tube)- I would consider a 50min train journey for more money if it cut out the tube and trimmed down the walk.
With a LO you want to get home asap as a working mum - a 2hr commute would be a deal breaker for me.

I used to commute by car, google maps said 45 minutes but it regularly took me at least an hour, long dependant on weather. My commute now is 20-30 mins and that’s about as far as I’ll go now.

I think it depends entirely what sort of commute it is. If you can easily drive to train station and get a space, are guaranteed a seat on the train and it's a short walk once off the train, and the train is reliable (if that's even a thing!) then yes I would imagine that's not too bad. But if you're going to have to stand/change train or bus etc then I can imagine it would get tiring very quickly!

I wouldn’t do it daily. If it’s fairly normal office hours then even if childcare is covered you’d hardly see your children during the week not to mention that 90 minutes of traffic jams into a city centre sounds really stressful. I would try to negotiate 3 days a week in the office and 2 days a week working from home. If I couldn’t get that then I’d either move closer to the city (presumably you’re likely to run into this issue again if that’s where the majority of better paying jobs near you are), only look for flexible or part time jobs or stick where you are if you can afford to do so. Time is worth a lot.

I used to do 75 minutes each way by car or public transport. But I didn't do it every day as I might work at home or be off to other locations. 75 mins is do-able, 90 is a lot and quite wearying.

I'm now down to 50 - 60 minutes and enjoy the difference.

Shytown that's the biggest issue ATM. It's a difficult position, because neither of us are currently high earners (but I could make enough so DP becomes a SAHP) in fact we're paid just above MW. But I have a daughter with my exH and we share 50/50. But we're between a rock and hard place as the low income is starting to affect my MH. We can pay our bills and be okish, but we have no money left for emergencies (or saving for a new car, etc..) once childcare is paid. So, yes, my DC will see more of me, but we'd always struggle.

If it really is a £42k salary difference, can you take a job and then move closer?

It really is nurse. What I do is fairly niche and can speak a few languages, so even though there aren't millions of jobs around, in London there's always plenty of jobs for me. But then it would mean moving the whole family and my DD loves her DF it's not fair on her (or her dad). The local recruiters look at my CV and it might as well be in Chinese as they've never seen anything like it before. (Used to be an outsourcing manager for one of the biggest .com's)

42k difference? isnt that more than 1k a month extra?

yes i would do it in your circumstance

Only that's London pay scale (60-75k). More locally -the 90min commute- is the £1k net.

I’ve done 90 mins each way which was a combination of walking, train and tube, so I could mostly read a book or snooze. It was exhausting but doable, but I would find driving that much every day too tiring, especially having to factor in possible hold ups etc.

@Mariagatzs12 what’s the local pay scale if it’s not £60,000 to £75,000? I think you should still go for it no matter what but I’m curious about the difference of London weighting.

It's about 35-45k. So still an improvement from my £18k

That's an insane commute and I wouldn't commit to it. Lots of people might do it, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

My old commute was 45 minutes each way (driving) and it was horrible. It made a long day that much longer. I couldn't just sit and zone out, I had to concentrate! It was fine for the first year, but after a while it just got too much. It was exhausting, especially in winter when it was pitch black, often raining/foggy/snowy and with flooded roads on top.

My mum did that for about 10years (once we'd all flown the nest). She retired about 3 years ago and looks 10years younger. The commute drained her.

When would you have a life? Mines an hour door to door, including dropping/ picking up kids and I get sick of that.

It's true that it would massively reduce our down time in the working week. But to be able to afford/budget for other needs (like cars) we're looking into having to work over the weekend. So at least in our case it's swings and roundabouts.

But to be able to afford/budget for other needs (like cars) we're looking into having to work over the weekend. So at least in our case it's swings and roundabouts.

Bare in mind that such a long commute can easily kill your energy levels. I found I was spending my days off catching up on sleep and down-time and still didn't have much energy to anything outside of the necessities.

Is there any chance of moving closer to the place with more job opportunities?

We could move but we're trying different options so I still as close to 50/50 as possible with my DD. I'm also trying to find a better job locally but that has been proven to be fairly hard.

If your income is going to at least double I would do the commute. Living on the edge of poverty sucks and that is energy draining all by itself. Definitely go for it even with the commute.