Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

At my wits end with screaming dd

15 replies

16more · 28/02/2020 01:50

Dd is 18 months, never been the best sleeper but I did get her down to sleeping till about 5/5.30. For the last few weeks she keeps waking up all hours. She doesn’t just cry she absolutely screams the place down at the top of her lungs. If it weren’t for her being so happy and lovely during the day I would think she was in terrible pain. I’ve currently been up for 2 hours, she does about 5 mins sleeping then 10 mins having an exorcism. What the hell am I meant to do? If I try and comfort her she just screams louder. She doesn’t want anything other than boob which is literally the last thing I want to do. I’m so effing tired and seriously struggling

OP posts:
SeaToSki · 28/02/2020 01:58

It sounds like night terrors. Dreadful things, unfortunately you cant do anything much other than leave them. With three of mine I would just sit in the corner of the room, so I knew they were safe, the fourth, I could get to rouse a little by getting her to sip some water from a cup and then could re settle her.

DeRigueurMortis · 28/02/2020 02:05

Been there OP.

It's a long time ago for me but DS would never settle at night unless attached to my breast.

He wasn't feeding - more suckling for comfort which for me made my nipples sensitive and sore. So as he got sleep I didn't and vice versa.

I got to breaking point and remember sobbing my heart out in the early hours.

DH said this is enough, got in the car and drove to the nearest 24hr supermarket and bought formula/bottles etc.

His plan was to help feed DS to give me a break (I'd been adamant about breastfeeding).

I let him feed DS as I was so exhausted thinking it was a one off. But DS for the first time slept through the night.

After that we changed the routine to mixed feeding. DS was BF during the day, but his bedtime feed was formula.

It was like a miracle. DS slept, I slept and DH felt more engaged by doing the "go to bed feed. I think DH doing the last feed also helped in so far it signified "no more mummy milk" until the morning so go to sleep.

I'm not saying it would work for you but worth considering.

Cait73 · 28/02/2020 02:13

It's no help to you I know but I'm once again awake with a 14 month old who won't sleep, exhaustion is my new middle name, you're not alone

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Families
WomanIsTaken · 28/02/2020 03:33

Hi OP, google 'confusional arousal' (arousal as in awakening) which is a parasomnia, or sleep disorder. My DD1 was diagnosed with this at about 2. She would wake, sometimes as frequently as every 15 minutes, and really scream for ages -I recall recording her and playing it in desperation to some colleagues, who all blanched in silence. No attempts at soothing her would work, in fact it would only make her more distressed. Then she'd briefly drift off to sleep, before starting up again, anything between 15 - 45 mins later. This went on for months. I was in pieces, DD was having to sleep in with me and the baby, who luckily slept through everything, and DP had decamped to the spare room. Luckily, a paediatrician we saw for an unrelated issue nailed it. Scouring various obscure forums for advice, I found that if I caught her just before she began to thrash and holler (she would usually start stirring a bit) and popped her on a potty (I was so desperate I kept a potty next to the bed and would put it on the bed for DD to sit down on), she would do a little wee in her potty in her sleep, and often that would be it for the night; she'd fall back asleep and not wake up again. However, if I missed that first stirring, she'd be in the howling cycle for the night. This did carry on for approximately 2 years, tapering towards the end, and stopping, as if by magic, pretty much as she started school. But it was a long haul.
Have a read and see if it might apply to you. I remember being so reassured knowing it wasn't just our own private hell, and while there were no easy fixes, at least we weren't alone.
Good luck!

Original poster
16more · 28/02/2020 05:49

@DeRigueurMortis unfortunately she just will not take a bottle. I tried at 4 months and she had no idea what to do and would just get stressed, and a few more failed attempts after that. Tried the other day and still nothing. I think her dad is going to stay away with her this weekend so I can sleep. @WomanIsTaken I’ve never heard of this. I’ll have a google, thanks.

OP posts:
blackcat86 · 28/02/2020 05:55

As she's 18 months does she not have water from a beaker? Could you give her milk in it? Bottles after 12 months are bad for their teeth anyway. It might be interesting to see if she does the same with daddy or not. A GP visit just to rule anything else out might be helpful to.

RainbowsandSnowdrops · 28/02/2020 06:02

How long has it been going on for?

There is a sleep regression at 18 months. DD did the same and it only lasted for about 1-2 weeks.

She also suffers horribly with her teeth for periods of around 2 weeks then it settles down.

OtherVoicesOtherRooms · 28/02/2020 06:30

unfortunately she just will not take a bottle. I tried at 4 months and she had no idea what to do

She's 18 months old now. Try her on one again.

Lynda07 · 28/02/2020 06:31

Does your daughter drink from a cup and will she sleep cuddled up to you and her dad in your bed? She would probably hunt for a boob but be generally more relaxed and cosy with you and may go off to sleep. Dummy? You say she refuses a bottle so may refuse a dummy, I honestly don't know.

Night terrors are a possibility, I used to have them and would have appreciated a cuddle and the reassurance of being in bed with mum and dad.

ElbasAbsentPenis · 28/02/2020 07:02

All my sympathy, OP - this does sound like night terrors. My ds had them terribly nseveral times a night until he was about 2 years old. He is nearly 3 and still gets them once or twice a week and it’s just horrendous. Unfortunately bottles and dummies did nothing to help for my DS- we were told it was just a matter of waiting for him to grow out of them.

Fiberoptic · 28/02/2020 07:06

Yes we had this with dd3. We eventually gave in and dh slept in the spare room for a long time whilst she was in with me as when she woke I was able to rub her back or cuddle her with out me dribbling through the dark 15 times a night.

Awful.

She’s 3 and a half and just as in this week started sleeping in her own bed 😩

Original poster
16more · 28/02/2020 08:02

@OtherVoicesOtherRooms I tried the other day and she still wouldn’t take it. @blackcat86 if I try and offer her her beaker she just screams more so she wouldn’t even get the chance to see it’s got milk in it. @RainbowsandSnowdrops I was hoping it was this but I think I’m on about week3 so starting to loose optimism

OP posts:
DeRigueurMortis · 28/02/2020 13:06

Might be a silly question OP but has your DH tried with a beaker/bottle?

The reason for asking is DS at first strongly refused with me - presumably because he knew other options were available - but would (after some initial griping) take it from DH as he realised it was that or nothing.

Might be worth a go of you've not tried already - but be prepared that your DH might have to try a few times and not give in at first refusal.

Original poster
16more · 28/02/2020 14:12

@DeRigueurMortis he’s not tried no, not at night anyway. I’m hoping that she just settles with him when he takes her to his mums to stay tomorrow cos she knows she won’t get anything from him.

OP posts:
DeRigueurMortis · 28/02/2020 14:15

Hope you get some rest OP Thanks

New posts on this thread. Refresh page