Depressed whilst unemployed - how to pull myself together

[namechange0220]

I am currently an unemployed graduate of several months now and my mental health has really nosedived.

When I first graduated I was happy and motivated. I looked for jobs but also helped my family out with various things and volunteered part-time. Then it was the time where lots of graduate jobs are advertised and I suddenly felt completely inadequate and paralysed with fear and put it off and kind of let those jobs go by without applying to them.

Then last month there were no jobs to apply to. Since then my mental health has really plummeted and I am finding things difficult. It has happened so insidiously that I have not really realised how bad I have gotten until now. I have stopped going out on weekdays completely aside from walking my dogs. I do go out on weekends though. On weekdays I have been going to bed late (2-3am) and waking up late (12pm). Everyday when I wake up and remember that I have nowhere to go or be it makes me feel really sad and ashamed. I find it hard to prepare healthy meals so I have just been eating junk food and so I have been putting on weight. I find that it takes me so much effort to get dressed that I have stopped doing my hair and makeup, which I know sounds vain but it just reflects how I feel like I have let myself go. It sounds dramatic but I can barely recognise myself in the mirror as I just look like a shell of who I was, I just look so pale and depressed. Sometimes I shower and then just stay in PJs all day. I keep writing days off, like today it was 3pm and I hadn't gotten showered or dressed yet and I find myself thinking "well it is only 4 hours until 7pm when I can get a shower, get in fresh PJs and go to bed and start again tomorrow".

There are now lots of jobs being advertised in my field and I have identified several I want to apply for but I keep putting it off. I have been trying for two weeks to get the courage (?) to email my university tutor and old manager for references for my applications. I have also identified some part-time jobs to apply to in the mean time to get me out of the house and to earn some money but, again, I find myself scared to apply to them.

I feel so embarrassed writing this as I know I just need to pull myself together and grow up. I literally do not recognise myself. This time last year I was at university all day everyday, surrounded by friends and coursemates, top of my year, assisting a postdoc researcher and getting good feedback from my lecturers and supervisors. I would literally bounce out of bed at 6am because I loved what I was doing.

Does anyone have any advice on how to pull myself together and give myself an action plan on turning my life around?

Thank you.

Ooh, yeh that sounds shit and you're going to need to do a load of stuff you don't want to do but you need to get yourself back on track.
I would say that you need to bring structure back into your day first thing. Make some things non negotiable, like bed time, having a shower in the morning, getting dressed, eating breakfast. Then put aside a certain amount of time for job applications and also make sure you schedule in some time doing something you like, and taking your dogs out for a walk. Your situation sounds absolutely like you can and will turn this around, and what a good time to discover that you can be your own greatest teacher. Good luck and hopefully you will have a job soon and then things will just keep going from there.

@Woollycardi Thank you for your advice. I really like the suggestion of having structure to my day, I think that is something that I really miss and will try and implement starting tomorrow morning. Your comment has really given me hope and brightened my mood, so thank you.