Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What’s Your Arguing Style?

5 replies

Bunnylady54 · 27/02/2020 11:02

Or really I mean what happens afterwards? DH & I have been thrashing some stuff out about it all today. I’m very much one for talking about it afterwards ( DH will refer to that as “ post morteming”) whereas he will apologise if it’s him in the wrong but not want to go over & over what happened & why. Last night as well as apologising he did say he would try not to be like it again. Maybe it’s a male/female thing? I told him that if we don’t discuss it then I feel like my feelings don’t matter & he said of course they do. We even disagreed on how often we argue! I said that most of our fallings out include DD & that apart from last night, I couldn’t remember the last time the two of us had argued with her not involved.

OP posts:
Bunnylady54 · 27/02/2020 11:07

That reads really badly - DD has attachment disorder/anxiety/ anger issues so we do get some very challenging behaviour & sometimes it ends in all 3 of us arguing. We’re having family therapy & things have improved a lot

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 27/02/2020 11:30

It very much depends what the argument is about. If one of us is just in a bad mood and being a bit of an arse, then it’ll be a case of apologising and moving on, with no discussion needed. But if it’s over an issue that still needs to be resolved, or if one of us doesn’t really understand why the other has got the hump, then we’ll definitely talk about it to resolve things. Otherwise we’ll just be arguing over the same thing the next time it happens.

Bunnylady54 · 27/02/2020 11:48

A big reason for us is DH apparently listening to what I’ve said but then denying all knowledge of our discussion when I bring it up again - so bloody frustrating! It doesn’t always matter but when it’s important, it drives me crazy! Again, that makes me feel that what I have to say isn’t valued. I asked him this morning if he can try to let me know when I have his full attention. Might try immediately writing down whatever we’ve discussed then I can show him if he’s doubting.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Bunnylady54 · 27/02/2020 12:58

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Bunnylady54 · 27/02/2020 15:00

Anyone around? I thought this would get lots of replies

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page