How tired are you?

[Shinygoldbauble]

I've never been a very energetic person. I wouldn't say I have a lot of 'get up and go' but lately I think I must have something else going on.
Today I got up at 7.15. Left the house at 8 to drive dc1 the 10 mile round trip to school. Back home and got dc2 sorted and dropped her to school. Went to work for 3 hours (reception counter - not at all busy today). Went home, had lunch. Cleaned bathroom, made beds, quick shower then drove to school to pick up dc2 and then on to town to collect dc1.
Home around 4. Housework and cooked dinner. Had to leave at 6.30 to drop dc2 to babysitter as had to go back to dc1's school for a meeting. 9.00 collected dc2. Back home. Sent kids to bed, tidied kitchen and loaded dishwasher.
I'm physically exhausted.
How busy is your day and how tired do you get?
I'm 46. I have a DH whose work takes him abroad a lot. I'm lucky in that I only work 17 hours per week. My kids are not hard work although I do seem to be in and out of the car constantly. We live rurally and no public transport.
I'm thinking i must be deficient in something or maybe thyroid issues. My best friend has 4 children and works full time and she has a lot more energy than I do.

I was going to suggest thyroid problems. Mine packed up last year and they're still in the process of adjusting my medication. I felt much as you do. My energy levels plummeted and given the opportunity, I'd be sleeping at least 16 hours in every 24, no problem. A friend feels similar due to a lack of B12.

It's definitely worth going to the GP, describing this and any other symptoms you have and getting them to do a full range of blood tests. I understand how rubbish it feels and I really hope you find an answer.

How long did you spend staying still, breathing slowly, checking in with your body and seeing if you're ok?

Some people call it meditation, some call it mindfulness, I just go for the simple "self care".

It's perfectly reasonable to be exhausted when you're on the go for a very long day, without the support of your husband.

Do you carefully watch what you eat and drink? I have to get at least 5 a day and minimise processed food or I feel like a heavy tub of lard, and if I drank alcohol more than once a week, I get a cold sore!

5 fruit/veg a day!

i was really similar to this and found out I was anaemic it could be a good idea to go to your GP

Why are you doing housework when the kids are home at 4pm, if you only work 17 hours a week?

I’d be buggered after that! It’s not just the physical it’s all the mental load you’re carrying on, on the back of years of doing similar! That said, I find high strength vitamin d in oil capsules along with magnesium and b complex definitely makes me feel zingy! I also swear by acidophilus capsules, they are healthy gut bacteria. I took them to sort out my guts after a bout of food poisoning but then saw/heard lots of articles about mental health and gut bacteria and my dh really benefited from this.

I'm not very tired, for the simple reason that I prioritise my sleep above all else.
I used to be like you and the constant low level tiredness was always there. I worked out I need at least 8 hrs sleep a night, when I started tracking my sleep on my FitBit I realised I was often under that.
So now I go to bed and often sleep for 9+ hours. If I don't hoover the floor, or the ironing pile is big it doesn't matter so long as I'm properly rested- in fact this is less likely to be a problem now as I have much more energy and am more efficient as a result.
I genuinely feel I should be some sort of Instagram guru and preach my word to the masses, that's how passionately I feel about it!

H gh

Exhaustion is very common during Peri-menopause, so that's something else you should consider. Given your age, you are probably in the midst of it.

completely exhausted. I'm 42. work 35 hours a week. single parent to a nearly 3 year old with no friends or family to help out.

Exhausted

My last 24 hours .....

Up for the day just before 6am with 3 year old and 5 month old. Make sure all dc (5) are fed, ready and out of the door on time. Walk to school with dcs 3, 4 and 5. Nip to shops after school run then home. Put away shopping and do house work stopping when baby needs feeding / changing / playing with. 2.55 set off for school to collect dc. Home for 330. Tea in the oven. Feed the baby. More housework. Serve up tea. Bath dc 3, 4 and 5. Back to school for a meeting 530-630. Home and start putting dc to bed. Last dc in bed 830pm. More housework. Eat. Bed for 10.30. Sleep til 4. Feed and change baby. Cant get him back to sleep. Dc4 awake at 5am. Downstairs for the day with dcs 4 and 5. Washer is on. Dryer is on. Baby now napping.

Last night the answer was too tired to reply to this when I read it.
I am chronically sleep-deprived and exhausted. I have a 5 year old who is my non-sleeping wonderchild and has been depriving me of sleep all her life. She didn't routinely sleep through the night until she was 4, would normally only sleep for a couple of hours at a time, as a baby would only sleep if I sat up and held her, has recently taken to repeatedly waking up and calling us again. As well as that, I do a job that is 13hr shifts, most of that time on my feet, almost always leave about a hour late. Also, do an average of 1 night shift a week (sometimes 1, sometimes 2, some weeks I don't do a night), so lose out on a night's sleep. I have 2 primary school aged DC and all the mental and physical effort that comes with them.
However, at the end of 2018 DH convinced me to go to the GP because I was so exhausted. I thought my level of exhaustion was due to all of the above, but discussed it along with some other concerns and the GP did blood tests and it turned out I was hugely vitamin D deficient. The treatment for that did help my exhaustion a bit, so maybe it would be worth you going to your dr and asking for blood tests to see if it picks up any of the issues people have mentioned here.

I've always been a very tired person, but it has improved as I've got older. Having said that, I currently have a muskuloto skeletal problem which causes me a lot of pain and that is tiring me out.

Thanks everyone. I think I'll make an appointment with the GP. That could take a couple of weeks so I'll look at supplements in the meantime.
My work is over 4 days - 3 × 3 hours and 1 long day. I do housework at 4 because there's always something that needs doing.
On my short days I come home and have my lunch or maybe meet a friend for an hour or get some groceries. There never seems to be much time before I have to do school runs.
It was easier before dc1 went to secondary as primary school is a lot closer.
I absolutely don't prioritise myself. It's always been an issue. I'm overweight but i struggle to find the energy or motivation to tackle it.
I had PND and very bad anxiety. Still have bouts of anxiety but in general I'm much better.

happypotamus I can totally identify with the sleep deprivation. I had a non sleeper too. She was 8 before she reliably slept the night. I think I got so used to being tired it became my default setting.

I was also going to suggest peri-menopause

I was the same - I was very deficient in iron, so its worth asking for your ferritin level to be checked.

I think it’s the mental load of your DH being away and all that driving. Plus what are your housework standards like? When I think of all the homes I have been in my standards are above average but I have two friends who have skirting boards so clean you could lick them and everything is show home standard. I leave my bedclothes pulled back all day and just pull them over me when I get in bed.

Plus how efficient are you? I had smaller dc and was working and also had a DH who at that point was abroad a lot though not all the time. I became super efficient so lots of chop veg etc and throw in oven so no having to stir or keep an eye on stuff in the hob, while that was cooking itself I did packed lunches fo work and school and a quick tidy. Plus as your child is secondary school age what do they do to help? Mine had packing and unpacking dishwasher as their daily chore.

Thanks for the replies. Non-urgent GP appointment in 3 weeks.
To answer a few questions - my housekeeping standards are low. Definitely no polished skirting here. I love to cook from scratch and I bake quite a bit. I'm very disorganised by nature though so it's always been a struggle to keep on top of things.
I've realised that I'm much less tired on the day I work full time hours. I really think it's the constant coming and going of the other days that I find difficult and of course the mental load. On paper it seems I should have a lot of time to myself but it's never really a whole block of time at once.
On the week day that I don't have work I spend some time helping my elderly mother with her house and keeping her company.
On the days where the dc have an evening activity I first leave the house at 8am and seem to be in and out of the car til 9 at night. It doesn't help that I dislike driving!
When I work the full day I drop the kids and go to work and stay put til 5 when I collect the girls and go home. It's bliss compared to the other days.
My dc are very helpful to be fair. Older dd has quite a full on schedule with school and extra curricular stuff but she does what she can to help.

I really think it's the constant coming and going of the other days that I find difficult and of course the mental load. On paper it seems I should have a lot of time to myself but it's never really a whole block of time at once.

I read your OP and identified HARD and I was just coming on to post what you've said above - it's the chopping and changing between activities, deadlines and responsibilities that is so draining. And in and out of the car driving too. You're shifting focus constantly. It exhausts me too. But perhaps I should go for a general check-up too.