Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

My baby doesn’t cuddle me

16 replies

Moonshine160 · 26/02/2020 21:08

This is probably completely normal but I just wanted to hear others’ experiences? My DS is 1 in two weeks time. He’s a little delight, very smiley, giggly and cheeky. However he doesn’t seem to like any sort of physical affection. He likes to be held if I’m stood up so he can look around the room, but if I try and kiss or cuddle him he just pushes me away. He has never been a cuddly baby at all other than as a newborn. I can’t cuddle him to sleep or seem to soothe him in any way, for example if he’s crying in his cot and I go to him and stroke him or pick him up and cuddle him then he would just get more upset and try and wriggle away from me but calms down on his own. If I bring him onto my knee when I’m sat on the sofa then he’s so wriggly and tries to get away from me. He doesn’t even rest his head on me. He’s like this with everyone and I give him space to see if he ever comes to me instead but he doesn’t. He hasn’t shown any signs of separation anxiety so far, recently he’s been at the childminders for two days a week and she struggles to get him to sleep but I think thats environment related rather than from missing me, he doesn’t get upset when I’m not there and doesn’t seem to be that happy to see me when I collect him after work! I know it’s a good thing that he doesn’t get upset when I’m not there, and this probably sounds ridiculous, but sometimes I feel a bit rejected or like he doesn’t love me. He’s not even 1 yet so I know it’s daft to think this way but has anyone else’s baby been the same? Might he grow to become ‘cuddlier’ as time goes on? I know I can’t change who he is and I love him all the same but I’m just desperate for snuggles from my little boy! I’m a first time mum as you can probably tell

OP posts:

loutypips · 26/02/2020 21:11

Normal! Dd was like this, now she's like my shadow. Annoying when you can't even poo without a child trying to hug you.
At the moment the world is too interesting and exciting for your ds to want hugs. Don't worry

Pipandmum · 26/02/2020 21:16

Might just be the way he is. My friend has two boys and a girl. She works full time. She said when they were little the boys would just look up and say 'oh hi' when she came home but her daughter would run up for a hug.
My son is more demonstrative than my daughter, who accepts hugs but doesn't give many. My son hugs alot. Both are teens. It's just they way they are (and always have been).

TheFaerieQueene · 26/02/2020 21:18

Apparently I wasn’t a cuddly baby/child. I don’t cuddle much now as an adult but I’m fully able to love and care for people so it hasn’t been a problem.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Families

CalamityJune · 26/02/2020 21:26

DS was never cuddly at all as a baby. As a 2.5yo toddler he always loves a cuddle now and occasionally greets me with "hello my darling" when I get in from work. He likes a snuggly story at bedtime too. It's still early days OP!

fastliving · 26/02/2020 21:27

My dog is like this not helpful sorry

DesLynamsMoustache · 26/02/2020 21:30

DD has just turned 1 and has only just started getting a little more cuddly. She still doesn't really care if I leave her on her own with others, but she will now cuddle in, mostly when she's sleepy. She was a really independent baby from birth - she never needed held to nap and slept better on her own in her Moses basket - so I think it's just a personality thing a little bit, as well as wanting to be mobile generally and just being interested in what's going on around her. Also being comfortable in the fact I'll always come back!

CalamityJune · 26/02/2020 21:30

Oh and wrt to the separation anxiety, my DS has never had it. I've waited and waited for a "phase" of not wanting to go to nursery or grandparents and it's never happened. He loves visiting and spending time with other people.

Just look at it that he has absolute, unwavering confidence that his mummy will be back soon. He doesn't need to miss you. It has never occured to him that you might not come back for him. That's a nice way to be!

PsuedoSatisfactionBaby · 26/02/2020 21:33

Eldest hated being cuddled...still does...never really grew out of it. Youngest is a sticking plaster...never happy unless she’s wrapped in a cosy cuddle...including demanding cuddles from eldest who has no idea how to react other than with complete bafflement

Troels · 26/02/2020 21:52

My oldest was like that, never grew out of it. Second was so cuddly, Dh thought there was something wrong with him need so much affection.
Oldest did/does have some sensory issues , hated labels in clothes, seams in socks, textures of certain fabrics, foods, etc. Hated getting his hands dirty or sticky. Refused point blank to fingerpain when he started school, his teacher was quite put out and didn't no what to say.
Hes a perfectly normal, successful adult male now, eats a wide range of food, picks his own socks out, so no idea if the seams bother him and has a lovely partner.

INeedNewShoes · 26/02/2020 21:54

DD was exactly the same! I can't remember when it changed but I think it was around 18m. Before then I was feeling deprived and a bit unnerved by the lack of cuddliness!

She is now nearly 3 and a very cuddly indeed.

Novembernickname · 26/02/2020 22:02

My DC exactly the same. Became cuddly at around 6/7 and Now a teen and very affectionate still.

SarahAndQuack · 26/02/2020 22:22

Mine was like that! She would go stiff, like a board, if you tried to snuggle her. After the newborn stage (when she insisted on sleeping on us) she just seemed completely unable to find a comfortable place. She liked to lie on my chest and fall asleep, but literally lying flat on me - if I tried to snuggle or hold her, she didn't like it.

I forget when it changed (she's nearly 3 now), but she's now the cuddliest thing ever - when I pick her up from nursery she nearly has me on the floor flinging herself into my arms.

I think for some of them it's purely about the size and shape of their bodies - it just isn't that comfortable until they're a bit bigger!

SillySpaniel · 26/02/2020 22:45

DD is 20 months and is only just starting to cuddle but still isn't too keen but the cuddles are getting more frequent. She hated being in a sling and carrier as a tiny baby. She would always push herself away from me. She hated being held and was happier to be sat on the floor.

Ozgirl75 · 27/02/2020 01:32

My eldest is now 9 and he was never cuddly as a baby, not at all. Hated slings, just wanted to see what was going on.

However, he has slowly grown into the most affectionate boy. He’s not a limpet though, but when I get a hug and a kiss, I know he means it! He tells me he loves me every day though, he’s just not particularly tactile.

My youngest was always a barnacle though and even now (7) he loves hugging me, cuddling right up to me, twirling my hair etc. His saying is “I’m the koala and you’re the tree”

Original poster

Moonshine160 · 27/02/2020 11:20

Thanks all! I feel a little better now

OP posts:

MolotovMocktail · 27/02/2020 11:26

Mine was like that until about 3, I think he was just too busy to stop for a cuddle. Now at 4 he’s much more affectionate.

Flip