Feeling overwhelmed and sobbing

[SpanishFly]

My 14yr old son is going through a terrible time at school. I am struggling to deal with my hormones/menopause, far less taking on all this too. The stress is overwhelming me and I keep sobbing.

Any tips to cope better? My stomach is turning constantly, I'm struggling to eat. I'm feeling panicky.
I've been taking deep breaths but it's not helping.

I have an appt with the doctor next week re hrt.

Oh well.

Hi I'm sorry to read this. It's so good you have a doctors appointment.
I am not very good at knowing what to say but wanted to reach out.
My son is a baby but I dread the idea of feeling his hurts when he is older.
Do you have any support in RL?

Do you exercise? Tried talking to anyone in RL?

Go for walks? Basic, I know, but it helps me. If I don’t get gentle exercise and natural light on me pretty regularly, it does make a real difference to how well I cope with emotional stress.

FWIW, I have a 12yo with some additional needs and I’m pretty sure I am perimenopausal - so I slightly get it.

Try and think about this logically and break it down bit by bit. What is the problem at school? Can you involve teachers in it? Is it friendship related? If so, give him some tools to deal with this and chat every day with him. Can you drop him at school and collect him in the short term? Just some stuff to consider

Hey! It's not all doom and gloom. Honestly, I've had more shit thrown at me than a shit stack, but you battle on day by day.
What's up with your son?

Hi OP. I'm sorry I can't help but I feel the same as PP, my kids are babies but I already stress about how I would deal with things like this.

I am also someone who is overtaken by emotion and am tearful all the time, so I will be following this for any tips/ advice.

I hope you are ok and the doctor can help x

Speak to school so they know what is going on and hopefully will help.

Buy some rescue remedy, I use it if I feel anxious, it helps me. Have you got friends to talk too?

I hope things improve very soon for you & your son.

Not the same, but meditation actually helped me when I was feeling overwhelmed in general. There are lots of free apps out there with guided meditation.

When my ds went through a horrid time at school (and I don't just mean struggling - it was severe bullying and unmet send needs) I was an absolute mess (and not menopausal).

For me it was sending him in daily feeling guilty that I was sending him into somewhere I knew was bad for his mental health and then knowing the state he'd come home in.

But of course I was threatened with fines if I didn't send him in.

It was the biggest guilt trip that lasted a period of 10 months and then further after a complete breakdown he had as I felt even guiltier.

What I'm asking is whether it's possible the hormones are adding to it rather than the reason it's affecting you so much?

I would honestly say if the school really doesn't appear to be the right place for you son then move him or remove and HE whilst waiting for a place. Don't underestimate the emotions involved in doing what you feel you should do even when you know it's not right.

Thanks so much everyone. The school have been told and my ds now knows that the school are dealing with it.
He stayed off today but will be back tomorrow.

Yy re feeling utter guilt and dread on his behalf. I had no clue how hard teen stuff was. I'm sensitive and get properly upset about some things, i wish I had a thicker skin. But the hormones etc are adding to the situation.

Thanks for the suggestions re meditation and walking/exercise. I couldn't go out today but will tomorrow if I feel low. I have told him to text me or phone me tomorrow if he is anxious or upset or scared.

And thanks for the suggestions to break it down and look logically at things.