I have no friends

[Rainingdogsandcats]

Tonight I needed to talk to someone. I rang my friend who lives almost 4 hour's drive away. She didn't pick up.

We relocated here 8 years ago for DH business. I have no close friends. I have aquaintences that I know through my DC but no close friends. I'm 53 years old. I've never had many friends.

I've had a really shit day.

Awww really sorry to hear your day has bern rough.

I have no friends too and rely most times on mumsnet to unwind.

Hope you feel better soon.😘

I’m here too, for company and to say I’m sorry you’ve had a rough day.
💐💐

I know how you feel OP, I'm not really someone who has close friends. Is your DH good to talk to? Sending good vibes after your shitty day.

I’ve no friends too, never really had close friends. Even in a group, there’s always a popular one
I was never that one
I felt people always ended up using me in the end
Lifts, drop off,
Always the dumped after friends found boyfriends

To be honest through don’t think I’d want one now at 62

Do you want friends? Do you organize things or invite people out? For coffee or movies?
Do you join groups that go out? Like Spice for example?

I think friendships take work and you need to work at them

Here also, if you want to talk or want some company.
North West if you are anywhere in that vicinity.

Tell us about your day.

Thank you. I'm not very good at friendships. I have Asperger's so find making the effort to maintain friendships really tough. I would love to be able to call someone and pop for a coffee.

Back where we lived I had 2 or 3 friends that I saw regularly, I'm still in touch but we live so far apart.

I home ed my youngest so I do see people but my husband works long hours so all childcare and home is down to me. I don't get much me time.

My dd was induced yesterday, she's having a bit of a tough time, I was struggling. I've pulled myself together a bit more now.

Oh, it's hard work "pulling yourself together and getting a grip".
I think it's ok just to do what you have done, and shout up at times.
How is your daughter today? And baby?
How are other posters doing today?

I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day and had nobody to call on, that's very tough.

Do you have any acquaintances you think you might like to get to know better? In all cases of making friends, someone has had to make the first move - the first invitation, the first coffee, the first lunch etc.

Through my work, for which I have to be very hospitable, I have started floating things out there with people if I feel we might get along or have something in common. If I bumped into someone socially that I sort of knew I might say something like 'It's been so lovely chatting, but I have to dash off now to do XXX but perhaps we should meet for a coffee some morning? Would next week work for you? ' You'll know by their reaction if they're interested or not.

If they say oh that sounds lovely, then the next thing is to act on it! Send that message saying how nice it was to see then and would wednesday morning work or whatever!

Just keep widening the pool of people you can do that with. Be brave! Most people love to think that they have brightened up someone else's day and that someone wants to meet them for coffee / lunch etc. That's my experience anyway...

I also agree with a PP that friendships that work and you have to put the effort in - but it's NICE work and the rewards are great.

Not everyone is going to be your best friend but there is something nice about having a few people you can message / text back and forth with and meet for the odd coffee etc

Fellow friendless autistic here.
Well, I'm not really friendless as I have internet friends, but I don't have any RL friends.
No one I can just pop in for coffee with, or phone up when I'm having a bad day.

I do post here though. I've had so much support from the people here. It's not the same, but it helps.

Hi to everyone who are in need, like me, of a friend. It is so difficult and makes me feel lonely.
Raining how is your dd this afternoon? Has she had her baby yet? It must be really exciting for you. My dd has autism and I can see how lonely her life is, so I can relate somewhat to your thoughts. There are lots of kind posters on MN and can make you feel like people care.

I think far more people are in your situation than we’re made to believe. I’ve got a few friends, most of them are shit though to be honest! They take and take and take and very rarely do I get anything in return.

If you haven’t already then get a dog. Our dog’s done far more for me than my friends ever have. He loves me no matter what, gives me comfort, gets me out of the house every day, doesn’t gossip. Dogs or cats or both are the answer!

If you are willing to out yourself out there then try Bumble BFF, I've made some amazing friends through the app and had some great times

Gosh I typed a long reply. Thank you for being so kind.

We have a little darling girl. My dd was so strong. Ended in forceps but everyone is well.

I have reached out to a mum of one of my D's friends, she's very nice. We're going to have a coffee next week. We've had coffee before.

I'm a bit older than my DC mums so a lot of people work but I will try harder.

Oh OP what a little beauty 😍 congratulations!

I know you'll be feeling much better now but just wanted to add that you're not alone. I always manage to make people like me (I don't know how!) but aside from DP I can't think of a single person I could turn to in a crisis

Congratulations @Rainingdogsandcats! What a beautiful baby!!
I'm delighted that you've planned a coffee with a friend. Sometimes it just takes one thing to get the ball rolling and now you have a perfect excuse to meet people to share the amazing news about your perfect little dgd

Aww. So beautiful! Congratulations.

What a lovely baby! Thanks for the pic.
Good to read you are going for a coffee, positive steps.

What a beautiful baby, thank you for sharing the pic - it has put a happy grin on my face

Congratulations. Being a grandmother is amazing, I've now got 4 and they're such a source of joy and wonder. And you get to hand them back which is even better.

I've got no real friends. And it's really lonely at times.

You're not alone

Your granddaughter is beautiful 💖

I've no friends either. I've moved house too many times and struggled with depression, so don't get out much, which makes it difficult to meet people. I feel very lonely at times, but come on mn to chat. I'm in my fifties, have grown up children who all live far away now, no grandchildren.

It's shocking how many of us feel like this. I'm sorry you guys are struggling too.

She is rather yummy isn't she? We're all slightly besotted.

Thanks for the solidarity. I think I'm just feeling it right now. My mum died when I was very young so I had noone when I had my children. I'm so glad I'm able to be here for dd.

Oh this made me sad. So many people feel like this. Don't feel like it's your fault. Sometimes circumstances are what they are. Try and give yourself a little goal and see what that brings each day. Call someone every day for a week. Go for a coffee and ask someone how they are... build on tiny interactions. Change will happen if you allow it to. It shouldn't feel like a momentous effort. Be kind to yourself and congratulate yourself on your relationship with your child. I hope this new phase with a new grandchild will bring you so much happiness xxx