Feeling very depressed please help

[penguinsonaslide]

Just that really. Feel like a piece of shit for feeling like this as there is absolutely nothing wrong with my life - I am happily married with a lovely DC, my DH is the main wage earner and earns a great salary so we have financial security, I work from home flexibly around my DC, I have a secure home, a supportive and close family and I am healthy. I realise how ungrateful I sound.

But I feel so unhappy at the moment and I think it's largely due to my professional life. I sort of fell into a particular type of role when I graduated from uni as a stop gap but it has turned into my career. I don't enjoy it. I do it well but I'm bored by it - it isn't intellectually stimulating, I'm not passionate about it. I feel like I am just coasting through life and not doing anything fulfilling or worthwhile (other than raising my DC). I am at home with my DC 2 days a week at the moment and I used to really enjoy those days but since I started feeling like this I just feel miserable and irritable all the time and I'm worried about it affecting them and my marriage.

Sometimes I think I would be better in full time work but I feel dreadful for saying that as I know so many would kill to have the kind of flexibility and work/life balance that I've got. And I don't even know what I want to do - it's not like I'm sitting here thinking "Oh I wish I could do X for a living" - I genuinely just have absolutely no idea at all. I just know I'm not happy.

I went through a period like this 8 years ago and jsut completely fell apart, I was so unhappy. Then in the midst of it I met my DH and I felt much happier as you do in the early days of a relationship - we were busy building a life and home together etc and I think all my career boredom and unhappiness didn't feel so important. But now it does again and I'm worried about feeling as bad as I did back then.

The other thing is we want to have another DC in the not too distant future so I feel like I can't be thinking about retraining or switching career.

If you got through all that well done, sorry for the wall of text. Really just wanted to write it down and see if anyone feels similarly.

First of all you are not alone. I would suggest going to your gp and having a chat with them. I went a while back as I was having extreme pms and my whole life was going to hell once a month. My doc listened and put me on sertraline. It's only been a month but it has helped a lot already. It's not a solution to your career issue but it might help you feel better so you can figure out what you want to do.

I can't face going to the GP, I know all they will do is stick me on anti depressants and those just do diddly squat for me sadly

It’s not all they can do by a long shot.
And most anti depressants made me a zombie it gave me horrid side effects. I’ve finally found one that works.
Start with the GP.

Where I live you can self refer for CBT and counselling if that's the route you want to go down. Maybe look to see if that is an option. You could also try charities like mind for more advice.

I really recommend speaking to your GP though. People react to antidepressants in different ways. There may be one that works well for you.