Love - hate relationship with breastfeeding

[AngSam]

I have two weeks old that feeds every two to three hours. She's fed on demand so sometimes even more often. I think I'm having a breaking point. I am more thirsty and hungry than ever before, most of all I'm exhausted. To the point where I can't rest properly, my mind is wondering 😩. Is this all normal? How to boost energy while breastfeeding? I love it as a bonding time with my baby and I don't want to give up.
I also have a toddler, very active wanting mums attention. It's hard 😥

Oh bless you, it really takes it out of you doesn't it.

Did you BF your now toddler?

Yes it is normal to feel hungry and thirsty when BF. It's important that you are eating and drinking plenty but I can imagine that with a toddler as well, you are way down your priorities list.

I tried to ensure I had water and snacks to hand when I sat down to feed. I even bought a cheap fold up side table so I had them in easy reach of the nursing chair. Is your toddler old enough to follow instructions such as getting you a snack or bottle of water (you could put them in a low safe cupboard?)

I would encourage you to keep going so that your supply continues to build. It won't be this often forever. Every two to three hours on demand is absolutely normal. Are you offering both sides?

And congratulations!

Sorry, just thought... what's your childcare situation with toddler? Any nursery or preschool hours in the week?

I am getting a bit of family support to look after older one, my dh tries to carry him out so he is not home being bored.
My toddler was fed with formula, I struggled to breastfeed him. But my second baby is much different, she knew from day one how to latch on 😅.
I am just exhausted and also feeling gu of having less time for my toddler.

Feel guilty for not having much time with toddler

It sounds really tough and you have a lot going on. Well done for keeping going with the feeding. It's positive your partner is helping out with your son. Well done to your DD for picking it up so quickly!

I'm just wondering about what you said about feeling at breaking point. Tiredness can absolutely make us feel like that. Is there anything else that's on your mind or making you feel like that?

Have you been discharged by your community midwife? If you feel she is approachable I wonder if you could have a chat with her about this?

Establishing breastfeeding is very hard for many. I hated it! Relentless! I hung in there though and it got much easier. I loved it in the end. No experience on breastfeeding and managing to look after an older child though, sorry! Is there a bf support cafe in your area or something that u could try?

It's hard work isn't it!

I found that eating porridge helped to fill me up (along with the cakes and biscuits!)

Will the toddler be read to? I had a basket of books that I would read when I was feeding the baby to my two year old. I would settle him down next to me with a snack and a drink and read for a bit so he thought it was 'his' time as well.

You are a heroine - a toddler and a breastfeeding newborn means you must be beyond exhausted!

What sort of support do you have in terms of family and friends?

This may sound really stupid, but I find putting the radio on really low, on a quiet talk/music station (say Radio 3) is really helpful, when your brain won't wind down.

I’ve been there too. I remember thinking with dc2 ‘I just can’t do this’ despite breastfeeding dc1 and being determined to do it for dc2 as well. I can only say it was short lived and once we established and the cluster feeding stopped I was so glad I carried on and I do think it’s much easier after the initial 6 weeks. I have to say regardless of whether you are ff or bf I don’t think the guilt about not getting to spend as much time with your older child wears off. It’s such a big adjustment for you all. Eat and drink as much as you need until your feeding is established. I stuffed my face with so much high cal food the 1st month but after that the baby weight dropped off with a sensible diet.

My insatiable hunger and thirst went away by about week 3 or 4 if I remember correctly. Before that I would be begging DH for huge bowls of cereal at 6am while I nursed! After a while my body got used to it and my hunger/thirst went back to pretty much normal.

I had a visiting midwife that showed me positions for breastfeeding and how to latch on properly. I am aware of advantages of bf and skin to skin bonding time with newborn. My midwife did not have any concerns about me or the baby so now HV will be visiting.
My son is two years old, he will go to nursery later this year. I'm trying to sing rhymes with him, play games while I need to nurse. I'm also trying to get him involved to help with the baby. He is now starting to adapt and accept his mum being busy.
But there are days when he stops listening, starts misbehaving and doing things on purpose to get my attention. That's what I find hard to watch, because I know he miss me.
I really want to find the time just for him.
Sleep and rest around two young children is not always possible but I'm trying to nap when I can.
Thank you for reminding me that it won't be like that forever.