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Original poster

Tips for solo 2 hour drive with 9 week old?

36 replies

TwoKidsStillStanding · 23/02/2020 10:57

All tips welcome, including “just don’t do it”.Grin

I’ve been invited to a wedding when baby will be about nine weeks old (currently 5 weeks). However, neither DP nor our older child is invited - they’re obviously trying to keep numbers down and only family children/babes in arms are invited. Fair enough, it’s an invitation not a summons, etc, and I would like to go.

I’m now really nervous about the drive. I don’t mind attending the wedding alone with baby in the slightest - I’ll be with friends who will be happy to hold baby to give me a chance to eat/pop to the loo, etc, and the logistics of the day are straightforward (staying on site). It’s just the drive that I’m worried about. It’s mostly motorway but not loads of service station options, although enough to allow for at least two stops.

Any tips for solo driving with a baby?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 23/02/2020 10:59

Are you breastfeeding? Otherwise could you go alone?

HugoSpritz · 23/02/2020 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Withorwithouthim · 23/02/2020 11:02

Change, feed and put in car seat, any luck baby will sleep. If concerned stop after one hour. It will be fine.

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0-3 months old Babies & sleep Families
TARSCOUT · 23/02/2020 11:04

Could you take the train?

mamamalt · 23/02/2020 11:04

That's the best age to do it! The baby will sleep as long as fed and clean etc.

Canadianpancake · 23/02/2020 11:06

NHS guidelines suggest a baby shouldn't be kept in a car seat for too long, so I'd plan to stop every 30 mins for 15 mins or so. Also, plan where you're going to stop, but also find out other places to take a break along the way incase you need to stop unexpectedly. Give yourself plenty of time, and enjoy the adventure!

Pinetreesfall · 23/02/2020 11:08

It will be fine. I had a 3 hour round trip for the school run from when my son was 4 days old with a 15 minute break in the middle when I got him out the seat. I did this twice a day. He's now a very healthy two and a half year old.
Chances are baby will just sleep if full!

puds11 · 23/02/2020 11:10

Will be longer than 2 hrs as you’ll have to stop every 30 mins

Original poster
TwoKidsStillStanding · 23/02/2020 11:21

Thank you all! In answer to questions:

@Sirzy, I am breastfeeding so can’t go alone.

@TARSCOUT, I did wonder about the train but it would involve two trains, two tubes and a fairly expensive taxi ride each way. I’m also not convinced my post-CS back will be able to handle either the luggage or the carrying - I’d need a backpack as would have to take car seat on pushchair frame. Would also be significantly more expensive!

I’m probably partly nervous because I haven’t driven solo with him yet (hoping to be back behind the wheel next week). We have one of those car seat mirrors which DP says works well.

Ironically, we just drove to see family this weekend - I sat in the back with the kids and he slept the whole way back bar a stop. But on the drive up I would have had to stop multiple times if solo as he did need attention/his dummy/etc.

I’m allowing at least four hours - the timing on the way there is such that there’s not much point going earlier as we’ll hit rush hour traffic.

Any general tips for solo driving with a baby? Is there anything we should have apart from a mirror to keep an eye on him? We didn’t have a car first time round so this is all new.

OP posts:
hauntedvagina · 23/02/2020 11:26

I did a three and a half hour trip with a 9 week old. We stopped twice for half an hour each time. DS slept for the majority, however I was sat in the back of the car with him. I don't know if I'd have been comfortable doing this with him in the back on his own.

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 23/02/2020 11:28

Be prepared to stop much more than you expect, just to check your baby is still breathing. Or maybe that's just me.

mynameisigglepiggle · 23/02/2020 11:34

Why don't you put him in the front with seat pushed as far back as possible and airbags off.
I'm sure he will sleep if he's usually good in the car. 2/3 of mine would have slept the third hated the car seat and I wouldn't have done it!! X

Original poster
TwoKidsStillStanding · 23/02/2020 11:45

@OnTheEdgeOfTheNight, you are me. That is exactly what’s likely to happen!Grin

He has been better on the two longer journeys than the short ones, to be fair. It’s just too early to predict when he’ll nap and be napping by then. At the moment, he’s usually restless between 0300/0400 and 0600 then sleeps quite well for much of the morning so it might be ok...

OP posts:
humsnet · 23/02/2020 11:47

Ask another wedding guest - perhaps a solo one who would welcome the company - if you can carshare.

It’s not an easy undertaking with two adults, and it will be very stressful indeed with one, especially if you have to repeat it in reverse the next day.

WatcherintheRye · 23/02/2020 11:56

I know this isn't what you asked, op, but doesn't it seem a bit off, for a wedding invitation not to include both members of an established couple (established to the extent that they have 2dc together!)?

Anyway, I think you'll be fine as long as you've identified plenty of stopping places en route, just in case. As pp have said, if you're lucky your baby will sleep all the way!

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 23/02/2020 12:02

I agree with Watcher about the invitations. You're potentially really putting yourself out--still recovering from a Cs, newborn baby... Your friend isn't really trying to make things easy for you.

user1493413286 · 23/02/2020 12:03

At 9 weeks I imagine he’ll sleep the whole way; the health advice I was given for a 9 week old was to stop after an hour to “stretch” them out a bit and make sure they aren’t too hot. Better to put him in less layers as car seats are well insulated

Original poster
TwoKidsStillStanding · 23/02/2020 12:52

Yeah, I do agree about the invites thing - it’s not what I would have chosen. Another of my friends did this a few years ago which split a mutual friend’s family down the middle, and I thought it was a bit off then. But this particular group of friends have generally only invited each other rather than partners to weddings. There is a back story but it doesn’t involve my DP!

I get it, I really do - adding partners from our particular circle would double the number of invitees and it’s not a huge wedding. And I knew what the situation was when the invites went out and could have declined then. But I won’t deny I could have really done with DP there - we are lucky enough that we could have asked for grandparent babysitting duties for our older DC but I don’t feel ready to leave the baby, even if he was bottle fed.

Annoyingly, the one other person who is in the same boat is coming from totally the opposite direction or I might have suggested a car share. Although two babies might have sent us over the edge!

I think I’m just going to have to do some forensic route planning and pray

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 23/02/2020 12:56

NHS guidelines suggest a baby shouldn't be kept in a car seat for too long, so I'd plan to stop every 30 mins for 15 mins or so
For a 2 hour journey?? Get a grip! Turn it into a 3 hr+ journey, completely ridiculous.
Guidelines are that just a guide.
Fed, clean, keep driving unless he wakes.

BikeRunSki · 23/02/2020 13:03

I’d see how confident you feel about driving once you start driving again, otherwise just go. I did 6 hours/300 miles, return, every 6 or 7 weeks from when DS was 8 weeks old to 1.

When DS was very tiny he mostly slept. He was a very good sleeper though, so I was never too sleep deprived. Plan in places to stop and build in time to stop, but 2 hours should be fairly straight forward.

Papergirl1968 · 23/02/2020 13:04

Could your DP and older child go with you, and while you and baby go to the wedding, he could take the older child off for a few hours - swimming, soft play, stately home (usually have playground, mazes, tea room etc)?

BertieBotts · 23/02/2020 13:19

It's only for the first 4 weeks you are supposed to stop every 30 minutes. A healthy, full term 9 week old will be fine. Which car seat do you have? A lot of them have flatter padding for newborns which will lessen this worry even more - the studies are done on the worst case scenario so really basic/older style car seats without the wedges etc modern ones tend to have.

BertieBotts · 23/02/2020 13:21

And yes, you could put him in the front if you can turn off the airbag and would prefer this.

It depends whether you think you'll find that or the mirror more of a distraction.

Geoffreythecat · 23/02/2020 13:25

You really don't need to stop every 30 minutes, no idea where that came from! Current NHS advice is no longer than 2 hours at a time in a car seat. It'll be fine, have a lovely time.

Ribeebie · 23/02/2020 13:25

I did this several times when DS was between 8-14 weeks to see family in my own. At that age they can stay in a car seat up to two hours at a time so I would aim to stop once and give him a feed and change etc. If he wakes up between and is h settled you may have to stop another time. It sounds like you are looking forward to the event so I think you should go. Leave yourself plenty of time and enjoy.

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