Trying to find the person who gave birth to me (Surrogate)

[CharlotteH98]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone knew the best way of trying to find the woman who gave birth to me? I was born in Burnley in September 1998, I understand confidentiality and stuff but is there a way I can get through to her through a 3rd party? TIA

BM should be on BC?

Was she your biological mother or the carrier of an embryo from other donors?

A dna link on one of the ancestry sites may show up close biological relatives.

Tbh I don't think it would show up on birth certificate? I'm adopted and had an 'amended one', until I accessed my original records post 18. On the other hand if BM was a surrogate I'd honestly ask what are you looking to gain from knowing? And I do state that as an adopted individual who went on the quest to 'find out where I came from?'. But a surrogate to me is a very different kettle of fish? If they didn't supply a source of DNA via an egg surrogate? They'll possibly feel absolutely no link towards you (I really don't mean that in a nasty way!). Is this something you've discussed with your parent(s)? As obviously they'd have all the answers you need. The problem is... that essentially as individuals we are all 'entitled' to know who we 'are' so to speak. But a women whose given birth and chosen to not raise that child post birth for whatever reason, is also entitled to the legal privacy to do so. It's a very emotive issue IMHO.

Join Search Squad on facebook
Do an Ancestry DNA test. Then join DNA detectives on facebook. They are wonderful at finding people. And good luck with your search!

Apologies I just re-read and see the surrogate part so I am uncertain about privacy and privacy issues etc

*privacy and legal issues

I’m sorry, I have no advice.
I can see how this is a very delicate subject.
Maybe try the citizens advice,.

This is going to become a common issue over the next few years.

I’m assuming your parents don’t want to tell you anything?

Bebanjo I agree. OP are your parents around to give you anything to go on?

If you were born with your mother's egg and not the surrogate then ancestry DNA kits won't help. However if it was the surrogates own egg then this could help?

Hi everyone, thank you so much for the feedback :)

Just a few things, I'm not in contact with my mum, my dad won't talk about it so I can't get any info from them 🙄, I've had a look on Ancestory and I'll have to order a birth certificate from there, it'll only give the woman's surname. I'm not looking for a relationship or anything with her, but if she was interested then I wouldn't be against it, it's more to say thank you for what she did, and to ask some questions is all.

Do you know if you are biologically the surrogate’s or the parents who raised you? You don’t need to order your birth certificate through ancestry, you'd do it through the record office. That should have both names on

A surrogate in Burnley (or indeed anywhere outside the USA) in 1998 would have been very unusual. Google tells me 332 surrogate births from 1995 to 1998.

Are you sure that is the right story? Could your Dad be refusing to discuss it for another reason? Possibly that he fathered a child with another woman and the child lived with him/was adopted by his wife?

www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/6147358.heartbreak-someone-elses-baby/

This 1998 article mentions other surrogate babies due in Lancashire. So maybe more common than I thought.

@Largeyellowdaffodil it says on my passport that my city of birth was Burnley in Lancashire

Is she your biological mother?

I have given birth to surrogate children (a few years after you were born and I am not anywhere near Lancs) but my full name and the name of my DH were on the children's original birth certificates.

After the parental order was issued there was a replacement birth certificate but if I remember right there is a reference number printed on it that relates to the original birth certificate, it's been a while but I think you need to contact general register office not a local one to get the original.

They have contact details including an email address here so it might be worth dropping them a line for advice.