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Would assisted living in a retirement place work for someone with early dementia

14 replies

Springsnake · 21/02/2020 08:31

Just trying to get an idea of if I have any options,relative not happy in secure care home

OP posts:
Purplewithred · 21/02/2020 08:34

Difficult time Flowers

It depends on what you mean by early dementia and what you mean by assisted living. Is your relative currently in a care home and unhappy there, or living alone and dreading the idea of a care home? Self-funding or funded? Able to manage with regular visits from carers or not?

doodlyfiddly · 21/02/2020 09:12

It's so hard to say. My MIL was diagnosed with mild dementia less than 2 years ago. Her decline has been rapid and she has been unable to look after herself - make a cup of tea, cook & clean etc for a long time. Her personal hygiene is also poor as she has no interest in looking after herself, she won't wash her hair, shower etc. This has been going for a few months now.
You never know the path that dementia is going to take, nor the speed, and that's one of many difficulties with planning for the future.
Therefore I would have thought that these retirement places are not aimed at dementia sufferers at all. Possibly in the short term if they have someone living with them to help and even then it's still very difficult for the partner.
Sorry to be all doom and gloom x

WatcherintheRye · 21/02/2020 09:21

You say she's in a 'secure' care home? Is that because she might wander off? If that is the case, I don't think a retirement home would be sufficient suooort for her. Have you been able to get to to the bottom of why she is unhappy?

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Lightsabre · 21/02/2020 09:23

I think if she's already in a 'secure' home then a normal retirement complex may not be able to meet her needs. However, there are Extra Care complexes that might be suitable. Have you contacted your local authority adult social care team?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 21/02/2020 09:24

How long has s/he been in the care home? Assuming s/he is there already. Speaking from experience (a parent and an in-law) it can often take a while for people to settle.

I’m a bit uncertain as to why the person needs a secure care home, if it really is early dementia. Some ordinary (non secure) residential homes will take people with early dementia, if it’s early enough that they’re not going to bother non-dementia residents. We had an aunt like this - however the care home did make it clear that we might need to move her later, and we did, but she was there for about 2 years.

As for assisted living, presumably you mean a flat with assistance laid on - frankly I’d be a bit dubious. For a start, a change of surroundings can be very difficult for anyone with dementia to cope with - everything in different places, different cooker, etc. A failing memory can find it very hard to manage outside very familiar surroundings.

Secondly, dementia can get worse quite quickly, and what
I’ve heard of more than once is the resident causing problems by e.g. repeatedly knocking on other people’s doors because e.g. they’ve locked themselves out, often at unsocial hours, or wandering off and getting lost, etc. And ultimately being asked to leave, because they’re bothering the other elderly residents.

Whereas in a good care home, and despite the horror stories there are some very good ones out there, there will always be someone there to help and reassure.

I do recommend the Alzheimer’s Society Talking Point forum, for carers of people with dementia. Whatever you’re going through, someone else will have been there. I can’t say that there are often easy answers, though.

CherryPavlova · 21/02/2020 09:27

There are no secure care homes. It is illegal to restrain someone by locking doors if they want to go out.

It can only be done if an application for a Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards (Protection of Liberty Safeguard) from the local authority. It is enshrined in the Mental Capacity Act 2005 and subsequent amendments.
If they are refusing to allow her to wander freely without a DOLS in place, they are acting outwith the law.

MinnieMountain · 21/02/2020 09:31

Do you mean one of the complexes which have a warden and shared social areas? They almost always have a clause in the lease that the resident must be able to look after themselves.

pointyshoes · 21/02/2020 10:07

Most of the retirement places I've come across emphasise that it's "independent living". The warden/manager is there usually to keep a very general eye on the residents, but no more than that. There's never any kind of "monitoring" of residents' comings and goings and if any resident suffers a decline in health which affects the other residents then they tend to have to move out . Sorry to be a downer

Spied · 21/02/2020 10:16

I think you need to look long-term.
Moving around and new environments are particularly difficult and often very distressing for someone with dementia and if this place is unlikely to be suitable long term then I wouldn't add it to the mix.
Having to leave in the future if dementia status declines is going to be difficult and upsetting for your relative and will add to confusion.
Look at somewhere that caters for those living with dementia.

Inforthelonghaul · 21/02/2020 10:20

In supported living residents are free to come and go as they please and there is very little care other than a meal provided. It is for people who can live independently but just need a little extra help to do this. No one will monitor their comings and goings or food and if they are bothering other residents it will cause issues.

There are good care homes who provide a safe environment and these would definitely be better for someone with dementia.

bilbodog · 21/02/2020 10:32

Some residential care hones have a separate section for dementia patients so you might be able to get them in to the residential part first and then be able to move them to the secure dementia part when the time comes.

jcurve · 21/02/2020 10:53

Assisted living is most suited to people who still have good memory but need help with daily tasks due to mobility. It usually wouldn’t be suited for someone who is wandering or regularly distressed due to dementia.

Generally dementia residents are accommodated in a separate memory care wing in good care homes. A sad reality of dementia is that personality can change significantly so it usually doesn’t work for either type of resident being accommodated in a mixed wing. Would a change of care home help?

Springsnake · 21/02/2020 17:57

Thankyou everyone who replied ,yes you said what I was thinking ,we are way past that stage ,
The social worker and hospital said it needed to be a secure home ,but I was wondering if things improved we could look at assisted living ,but after the last couple of days I can see that is not possible
Thanks for taking the time to help x

OP posts:
Pinkette06 · 21/02/2020 18:04

Hi, I worked in assisted living and in a care home and can say with early dementia assisted living isn't the way to go. Many people moved on into care or nursing homes from the assisted place I work in as it doesn't provide what is needed in the long term and isn't suitable. its more independent living and care given in set times, more than care at all times in an actual home.

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