Should I have said something in this situation?

[Morph2lcfc]

Wondering if I should have said something or just minded my own business.?Yesterday I was in McDonald’s with my son. We were at end of large long table, large group of mums and small kids came in. Three of the girls aged about 4/5 sat at our table. One of the girls was being quite mean to what seemed like a quieter girl. Quieter girl says one thing, mean girl starts crying and goes and tells mum. Quiet girls mum comes over and tells her off for not being nice. Quiet girl sits on floor looking very sad. Mum tells her off for sitting on floor, then when she won’t get up carry’s her off. Girls left discuss how quiet girl has been taken away to be told off and are very happy about it. Two boys come and sit at the table to play on the tablet. Girls are dipping their chips in ketchup and trying to wipe on the boys, boys slightly older and were just ignoring and trying to move out of way. Same girl then announces they are being mean and goes off to tell parents. We were then leaving anyway so I said nothing but it did annoy me, wondering if I should have said anything?

I think I would have had a quiet chat ... but then again it’s difficult isn’t it as they obviously know each other well. I’m sure the boys as older would have said something to the mother if she took it further with them

I think I would have quietly stuck up for the quiet girl with her mother so she didn't get told off too harshly. But I wouldn't have bothered confronting the mean girl or her mother.

So you witnessed a child get in trouble when she hadn't done anything and just sat there?

I wouldn’t have said anything to be honest; I wouldn’t be surprised if the girls mum had quite a good idea of what was going on and chose to handle it her way. It wasn’t exactly a big issue either.

Mookie81> no she’d said what she was told off for saying, it’s just that the other girl had said stuff first and more and she’d reacted.

I wanted to say something but didn’t know how people would react to me getting involved in their 5 year olds arguments!! I was on my own with my 9 year old autistic son who would have reacted really badly if the mother had started having a go at me telling me to mind my own business for example.

I know it’s easier not to get involved esp if you have your ds there but may be you could have twisted it around into a compliment to her dd - maybe along the lines of that her dd was being so well behaved and had done so well ignoring the other 2 be horrible to her for so long that you’re not surprised she snapped eventually and that she’ll be better off away from the mean girls, who had gone running over to tell on her the moment she had dared say anything back. So well done to her dd again as she did so well ignoring their taunts and that you hope that she will tell their mums so they can be told off too as the pair of them deliberately bullying her child shouldn’t be doubly rewarded by getting other child told off and taken away from them.

That way you’re saying her dd is great but you’re not undermining her for telling her dd off so she’s not losing face. Whether she tells her friends to tell their dds off is up to her.

was on my own with my 9 year old autistic son who would have reacted really badly if the mother had started having a go at me telling me to mind my own business for example.

Haven’t you answered your own question then? It seems that despite what anyone else thinks, you think you have good reason for doing nothing to protect another child from being bullied. What, in that case, is your AIBU?

Mintymabel- I wasn’t asking AIBU, if I was I would have posted in AIBU rather than chat. I was asking for advice so I’d know if it was to happen again. It was over quite quick and I kept wishing I’d said something that’s why I wanted to check on here to gage what people’s reactions would be. Most people seem to think it would ok to say something so I would definitely say something next time. If people had said no it’s just kids being kids then I’d have known not to say anything.

so I would definitely say something next time

But what about your son?

I’d have said “actually- the two girls were being very mean first of all- she just reacted” but nicely in a “just letting you know” sort of way.

I remember when my son was small I was in Argos queuing to order (before they had screens) and he was over by the shelves of toys they had in store. He was standing watching two other children play with something and then it was my turn to order which I did and as I turned from the till a manager approached me and said my son had opened a toy and I had to purchase it. (£40+!!) I hadn’t seen him do it but Took the man’s word and was starting to chastise DS when a woman intervened and said it wasn’t my DS at all, it was the other two children who left and he just picked it up off the floor when they set it down. I was so grateful for her tbh. I am a single parent on a tight income and really couldn’t afford a £40 toy.

I usually intervene in these situations, directly with the children. I say, "that's not right!" or something similar. If the parents are there, I leave them to it.

I probably would have passed the mum on the way out and said that the other girls started it and were much nastier.

No I would have said something. Those little girls sound like right entitled little bitches.