A very British tea party abroad....

[IJumpedAboardAPirateShip]

Hosting a fundraiser and doing a British Tea Party, making scones and cake and finger sandwiches and putting up bunting and finding cath kidston fake material and doing pimms and g&t and elderflower cordial and tea for the —losers— Jon drinkers. We’re in the US so what else should we do to make it “quintessentially” british (as in a bit twee but realistic....not fucking downtown abbeyesque....we did toy with white lightning and fish finger sandwiches but we need them to donate cash for the school!)

Empire biscuits are easy to make
Shortbread fingers or petticoat tails
Tiffin
Mini Swiss rolls or a large one thinly sliced

Sounds like it’ll be fun!

Jammie dodgers.

Scones, jam and clotted cream.

Both things I've made a staple in my area of the US. Everyone thinks they're tres posh.

Fish and chips for afternoon tea?????

How about Dundee cake, lemon drizzle, coffee and walnut, homemade Battenberg, cheese scones, scones with jam and clotted cream, strawberries and cream? Crumpets? Toasted teacakes?

Nobody actually has cucumber sandwiches

I love a cucumber sandwich when we go for proper afternoon tea. I never think to make it at home but I do enjoy them when out.

@katy1213 don’t worry I have most of your items on our menu

Loving the entertainment ideas

Make sure you buy seedless cucumbers (often known as English cucumbers) for your sandwiches.

Little fairy cakes with white icing and a cherry on top might go down well.

I was thinking of a game for fundraising "when a british person says x, what does this really mean?"

British person "that's very brave"
They mean "you are insane"

British person "not too bad actually"
They mean "the best I have ever seen"

British person "you must come for dinner"
They mean "don't expect an invitation anytime soon"

British person "I'm sure it's my fault"
They mean "it's definitely your fault"

Etc! £1 a go (make people change their dollars into pounds at the door...haha)

On the food front, my american relatives are completely baffled by sausage rolls, marmite, and gentleman's relish which is v easy to make yourself if you have a tin of anchovies.

Lavender cupcakes a la Nigella Lawson's 'Domestic Goddess' book might be nice too.

If you can get the loaves of bread cut lengthwise then that's handier for the little finger sandwiches.

You'll get about 8 out of a slice instead of 2. Good luck.

To be honest, I think what would sell the most would be a Downtown Abbey-esq/Ritz tea. Americans I know (a lot!) go absolutely potty over all that stuff.

Proper china and cake stands.
Fizzy wine of not Champagne. PPs cider suggestion is a good one though.
A few teas to choose from made in a pot of course.
Finger sandwiches (cucumber, smoked salmon, cheese and chutney, ham and mustard). You could also have cheese and biscuits.
Cakes (Vicky sponge, carrot, chocolate).
Shortbread and tiffin.

The think village fete:
Guess the weight of the cake.
A tombola.
A raffle.
How many sweets are in the jar.
A large chess/jenga game.
Coconut shy.
Hook a duck.
Plate smash.
Welly throwing.
And last but not least....
Tug of war.

Wil, you have music playing?

If so, the do include the Midsomer Murders theme tune! (the brass /wind band always seems to play it at a summer fete attencpded by Joyce Barnabky just before corpse is found)

Also a selection of English country tunes arranged for orchestra or strings
Traditional bagpipe tunes
Welsh male voice choir
Irish folk tunes
Archers theme

Maids of honour tarts - Americans love a bit of history.
You need Regula Ysewijn's new book that's out soon - takes an outsider to appreciate our traditions!

I make cucumber sandwiches at home, lovely and refreshing in the summer and dd loves them too the one difference is I use salad cream instead of butter, just a thin spread

We have cucumber sandwiches here too!

I also like cold sliced tomatoes on hot buttered toast but this may be a weird spacedinosaur thing rather than an actual British thing.

You lot are marvellous....we will build a spotify playlist but I was probably going to err more on popular british bands and singers - Morrissey, David Bowie, The Clash, Stone Roses, FatBoySlim, the Stones, Kate Bush, Florence and the Machine, Amy Winehouse, Adele, Annie Lennox....

No no - Chas 'n' Dave!
Must have real butter on sandwiches, cress with the egg.
I've got the sign off the top of a London bus stop. I could have lent it to you to make them queue up!

You need to find music from the Goons as background music.

Definitely sausage rolls, they are unknown in the US and also fundamentally delicious

Overheard two Americans buying sausage rolls in Greggs, lymington. As the assistant turned away to the till, one whispered to the other one 'what is this meat? Is it....PORK??'

I felt proud to be British.

Loads of Americans eat cucumber sandwiches so they won't be seen as particularly British.

Coronation chicken sandwiches
Smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwiches
Cucumber sandwiches

Mini scones with clotted cream and jam

Tea by the bucketload

@idontusuallypanic

I'm American and I've never eaten a cucumber sandwich in my life and know no one who has either. That includes my English husband. He says that he simply wasn't posh enough.

Ribena if you can get it! My American nephew thinks the stuff is the best ever when we send it over

Can you get a cardboard cut out of the queen 😂 eBay do them! Maybe Harry and Meghans one will be going cheap at the moment

@elp30 they're a regular at parties here! 🤷‍♀️

Yeah we’ve ordered some cardboard cut outs of the Queen and Big Ben!