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Original poster

Reported to children services

25 replies

Racmactac · 20/02/2020 19:45

I've got home from work tonight to a letter from children services telling me they have urgent concerns and I must contact them within the next 48 hours.
By the time I called the office had shut. I'm not overly concerned about them because my child is well looked after.
I think it's malicious call by my ex. I am guessing they won't tell me?
If I do a freedom of information request would they divulge the info?
Or if I report ex to police for harassment would they be able to confirm it was him

OP posts:

MovingBriskyOn · 20/02/2020 19:49

Don't bother stopping to his level. The professionals will just think you're both just doing tit-for-tat.

Deal with SS. If what you're saying is true, they'll disappear v quickly. Then get on with living your life.

Shit thing to happen, though. Sorry, OP.
What an arse he is

listsandbudgets · 20/02/2020 19:49

They won't tell you who raised the concerns sorry.

However, if you tell them that you suspect it was your ex and that its justa way of getting at you then (presuming it was him) they'll probably tick all the boxes and close the matter at that point. Social services see this sort of thing all the time.

champagneandfromage50 · 20/02/2020 19:50

First of all stay calm. My ex 'anonymously' reported me to SS and told them I was a drug addict. I was mortified , I was in a senior role in the NHs and my DS went to my work nursery. The SS were absolutely fine and had contacted my DS nursery and when I went for my meeting I said I take it was my ex who reported me? They couldn't admit it but they certainly didn't deny it was him. Doing an FOI request won't provide you with details of who reported you. I would just contact them and resolve the issue - for my ex this behaviour came back and bit him on the ass when we went to family courts

Whynosnowyet · 20/02/2020 19:53

Exh told court I was a prostitute!! They can see through twats long before we can ime!!

kitk · 20/02/2020 19:55

SS told me my malicious report came from my ex but this was pre- GDPR days. Either way do not stress. Answer their questions honestly, say that you've expected this kind of stunt from your ex and be open to whatever they want- home visit, welfare check with DCs childcare etc. If there's no real reason to worry theyll dismiss it within ten minutes so do not stress

Oblomov20 · 20/02/2020 19:56

Phone them. They may want to visit. Make sure you have someone with you, a friend or your mum, so they don't misquote you.

ArriettyJones · 20/02/2020 19:57

Malicious reports are so common. Don’t worry.

TheBigFatMermaid · 20/02/2020 19:59

I had a malicious report made about me. I had got a text from the stupid person - - aren't I restrained! - - saying she had done it and she hoped all my kids would be happy in their new homes once they were taken off me.

When the signed off after one visit, they wrote saying that they could see the report from first name, surname was malicious and they wouldn't bother me again.

I showed them the text and clearly knew who it was though.

Barton10 · 20/02/2020 20:33

My ex told SS I was an alcoholic and drinking two bottles of vodka a day! The next day he was arrested for breaching the restraining order I had against him. SS were lovely and there is nothing to worry about. They were apologetic for disturbing me.

strawberrylipgloss · 20/02/2020 20:56

I had a malicious report made about me.

SS won't tell you who it is but said that if it happened again to consult the police about harassment charges.

My advice is to cooperate so they can confirm all is well. A one hour chat with me and a phone call to the school head led them to drop the case very quickly.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 20/02/2020 22:05

I had a malicious report made against me. (Thanks darling little sister). They called me, spoke for 10 minutes, asked for permission to speak to the school (I said yes, obviously) Never heard another thing about it.

CrimsonCattery · 21/02/2020 11:20

Did you ring this morning? You have nothing to worry about, as stressful as it is.

Apolloanddaphne · 21/02/2020 11:30

I am a SW and when I went out to visit families and it became apparent it was malicious I wouldn't tell who had made the referral but if the person mentioned who they thought it was I would give them a 'look' which clearly allowed them to understand they were spot on. I only did this if I was sure there would be no retaliation though!

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 21/02/2020 11:31

Phone them, let them do their thing.

In the end the person who made the claim will be made to look an idiot and it'll go against them.

Graphista · 21/02/2020 11:44

Another who's had ex do this.

Happens a lot ss are used to it unfortunately.

I knew because he'd say goady shite and it usually happened when I'd been chasing csa to chase his arse over cm which he was never consistent or reliable with.

Ss were always fine with us. Hope you also manage to resolve this quickly I'm sure you will but it is upsetting.

IsAnybodyListening · 21/02/2020 11:58

This happened to me once, I was absolutely beside myself. I guessed it was my next door neighbour, who after years of infertility and in her late 40's, frankly lost the plot. After previous unfounded malicious behaviour from her, when I told SS all the details, the lady at SS told me on the phone she couldn't confirm my suspicions, and then she said she couldn't deny them either. She was very sympathetic and said there would be no further investigation and recommended I logged the behaviour from my neighbour.

Original poster

Racmactac · 21/02/2020 14:52

Thanks everyone for your messages
So the referrer is concerned for my son. He is in trouble with police and school. I hit his older brothers and they have moved out. I drink too much. I attacked someone and never know where my son is

They will be speaking to school and likely will close case

OP posts:

peachgreen · 21/02/2020 15:02

He is in trouble with police and school. I hit his older brothers and they have moved out. I drink too much. I attacked someone and never know where my son is

Are those things true, or just what the referrer has said? I'm confused.

ArriettyJones · 21/02/2020 15:17

They will be speaking to school and likely will close case suggests it’s all made up, I’d think @peachgreen

Why do these malicious twerps always go so overboard? Crazy stories. It’s maniacal and makes it so obvious they’re lying. If they kept it within the bounds of believability they would possibly cause a little bit more trouble for slightly longer:

Original poster

Racmactac · 21/02/2020 15:31

@peachgreen this is what has been reported.
Not truth!

OP posts:

peachgreen · 21/02/2020 15:34

Ahh, okay! Well sounds like they're very easy to disprove so fingers crossed it'll all be over soon.

ArriettyJones · 21/02/2020 15:34

Glad it will be easily resolved OP. Are you still convinced it was your ex?

Original poster

Racmactac · 21/02/2020 15:45

Yes most definitely him.
The first call was made the same day he would have received court papers in relation to property dispute. The second call was made today.

The things he has said could be seen to have some element of truth - so he has been in trouble at school but low level disruption - nothing that would cause children services an issue

No police involvement.

Drinking a lot - well I drink in the pub when I don't have kids - not a concern

His brothers have moved out - one is 19 and the other is 15 and wants to live with his dad - he's gone with my consent and comes home regularly

I do know where he is - he has a curfew and is never late. Normally home earlier.

OP posts:

ArriettyJones · 21/02/2020 15:56

God this shitty men.

ArriettyJones · 21/02/2020 15:56

THESE shitty men, I should say. (I have a similar ex.)

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