What would you get for this man?

[katiegoestoaldi]

There's a man who works in my local supermarket who is a bit of a character and we have a bit of a banter every time I go in. The last time I saw him was just after Valentines Day and I was asking him how many cards he got and jokingly asked if I had any competition. He told me he didn't receive a thing or hear from anyone on VD, that he's been a widower for six years and his mother had died the week before. He joked back that it's a leap year this year and he'll be working. Obviously I'm not going to propose, he's twice my age and our banter isn't anything like that and never has been but I'd like to get him a little something. He's always so lovely to myself and my son and everyone else

He's in his late 60s, early 70s

That's nice you'd like to give him something however if you're not romantically interested I don't think you should give him anything, he may get the wrong idea.

Could you maybe write to his manager explaining what you have said above and ask that the manager lets him know that he is appreciated?

Just do the normal thing of writing to the store and saying how lovely he is etc.

Buying him something is so weird!

If he likes a bit of banter he clearly has a sense of humour and, given his age, I'd buy him 'Tragically I Was An Only Twin' by the late Peter Cook which contains many of the Pete & Dud dialogues (I don't know any man who doesn't love the thought of Greta Garbo tapping at his window) and various observations that Peter wrote about in his newspaper column.

You can buy a very good used copy on eBay for £3 give or take a few pennies but, as a pp wrote above, be careful how you present it to him as he may see a gift as being an 'overture' on your part. Maybe say something such as 'I saw this in a charity shop and thought you might find it amusing' so that he knows you didn't go to town on buying him a new copy. I'd also give it to him in one of the store's carrier bags as wrapping it may also give the wrong impression.

If he likes a bit of banter he clearly has a sense of humour and, given his age, I'd buy him 'Tragically I Was An Only Twin' by the late Peter Cook which contains many of the Pete & Dud dialogues (I don't know any man who doesn't love the thought of Greta Garbo tapping at his window) and various observations that Peter wrote about in his newspaper column.

I'm 60 and heartily agree it's a very funny book. I just had to go find my copy and move it to tottering pile of books by my bedside to give it a reread. Thank you @DonKeyshot. If this is the final straw and the whole pile comes tumbling down and smothers me in my sleep, as it has been threatening to do for a while, I'll know who to blame.

he's twice my age and our banter isn't anything like that

Don't be so naive, you might think your banter isn't anything like that...

Just email the supermarket manager and tell him this employee is great if you feel the need to do anything.

Agree with others, a gift is not really appropriate but a letter to the store manager would be a nice gesture.

I suspect asking about VDay was testing the waters.

You're a suspicious lot! 😉 It's just a nice gesture to someone growing old alone

Thank you for the suggestion of the book, I'll look it up

@TheSandman This is your alarm clock speaking ... rring rring rring ... Wake up Sandman ... rring rring rring ... Rise and shine ... rring rring rring ... Come on you lazy so and so ... rring rri...

Oh shit, looks like Sandman bought it in the night... Cause of death: Suffocation due to avalanche. Verdict: Death by reading the wrong box tome.

(tinkles ivories) Now is the time to say goodbye... RIP Sandman.

LOL!

No I made it through the night - and about a third of the way through the book. Waking my wife up a couple of times with my snorts of laughter in the process. I do have the most horribly ugly laugh.

But surely you only write to a supermarket about a member of staff if they've done a fantastic job? This man just jokes with her - what on earth would the message to the manager say?

OP, I think there's a really high risk that this man thinks you like him - if you keep on as you are you should expect him to ask you on a date. If you don't want that, stop talking about Valentine's Day and gifts, and just treat him as you would a female member of staff.

just treat him as you would a female member of staff

Where's the fun in that, HollowTalk?

I love a bit of banter. None of the men I've bantered with have seen it as me coming on to them and none of them have ever come on to me. That's not what it's about. It's about coming across something of a kindred spirit and having a laugh - and then going on one's merry way with one's cockles warmed by a brief but humorous encounter.

Do please lighten up people! If it wasn't for Sandman , I'd feel as if I'd landed in pit of pc killjoys. Thankfully, he sounds as if he'd be up for a bit of a banter over Pete & Dud and assorted comics of that ilk.

So glad you didn't prematurely meet your maker due to a tottering pile of books, Sandman, and btw there's no such thing as a 'horribly ugly laugh' as all laughter must be a joy to the great Creator who was clearly having a laugh when he made us.

For those who are not familiar with the comic genius of Pete & Dud this youtube offering is from their Australia tour in 1971 - almost 50 years ago: