How have the small occupants of your house tested your patience this morning...

[CornishPasties]

Disclosure - This thread and its content are lighthearted.

So since 3am today the tiny, yet unarguably adorable 10 week old has spat up so much I've had to change the duvet and sheets twice. He's done an explosive poo which required a third duvet change and now the little treasure has just projectile vomited all over the basket of clean laundry which was waiting to be sorted and put away. It's not even 9am yet and through all this he's not even so much as thought of sleeping. It's going to be a very long day so please share with me how your small things are testing your patience, so I don't drown myself in the mountain of laundry which now covers what used to be the kitchen floor.

Oldest small person (6) is in an up and down mood. One minute she's skipping along happily, the next she's glaring at us and being stroppy. Or sobbing about nothing.

Youngest small person (19mo) fell over in a huge muddy puddle at the park, which was like a swamp because it was on the grass He squelched when I fished him out. This was after he walked in front of his sister on the swing and she knocked him over. She barely touched him but he fell to the floor wailing. Then rolled over onto his back and wailed some more. Then he saw a squirrel and chased after it, falling into aforementioned muddy puddle.

We're at DM's for the week and it's harder in a way because we're out of routine and nothing's in the right place, etc. But at least I can send one of them off with Nanny for five minutes if I need to!

My small human has been lovely and very good getting ready and going for the bus to nursery.
The cat on the other hand has been a PITA! Yowling for no reason and trying to trip me down the stairs.

My 3 year old DD has cried all morning because she doesn’t want to go to soft play she wants to go to nursery. It’s the other way around when it isn’t half term. Nothing can please her. Her 1 year old brother is even looking at her thinking wtf😂

Standing in front of me with her trolley whimpering. For ages. Didn't know what she wanted so tried lifting her up, lifting trolley up to sofa, putting her down, tidying up bricks in the trolley. Turned out she wanted a dish cloth to go over the handlebar of her trolley. OF COURSE.

Thanks to all who have shared so far, you are making me feel a whole lot more cheerful. Weve been for a walk and small person is now asleep,shall I tempt fate and put the kettle on...

This thread has shown me however that even when small human eventually stops trying my patience the cats will be there to make up for it. Its surprising just how many twat cats there are on mumsnet.

Vomited and shite all over the kitchen floor, while demanding cuddles.

Hopefully she’ll feel better now after her visit to the vets.

My Twat Cat usually jumps all over me at 5.30 (when I have to get up at 6). This morning, though, she was still snoozing for England at 7.30 and was most upset that I woke her up when I leaped up in a panic.

3 year old has been stroppy for the past hour because I won’t take my coat off.
It’s draining all my energy dealing with her wingeing.
Have given her 2 bourbons and am hiding in the next room.

8yo Dts were up at 5.01 this morning, excited for a play date. Dressed and ready to go by 5.15.

Unimpressed.

My small human has ramped up the antics. She pretended to eat something and when I foolishly tried to fish whatever it was out, she bit me. Hard. There was nothing there.

She redeemed herself slightly by eating soup but had just eaten a handful of mud from a potted plant.

On the other hand, the cat has been perfect

My biggest small person (who is nearly as tall as me, and is not yet 10) has made a complete mess of her room. We have only lived here for 2 weeks, and she had help unpacking most of her stuff...
The smallest small person has actually been lovely today, though she is now, at 11 months, showing signs of a disturbingly large strength of will, and a temper to match! 😭

This is the smallest occupant of my house today. Don't be fooled. She is very naughty.

As a result, the other small occupants have seemed angelic by comparison!

Oh @thenewaveragebear1983 she is gorgeous!

Bigger small person (7 going on 13) will not get up, get dressed, eat her breakfast or clean her teeth in the morning without me standing over her. Is moody, defiant, rude, cheeky, stubborn and sulky.?
Smaller small person (4, angry) screamed at me yesterday for making her put her waterproof coat on because it was pouring rain. Screamed at me again when her hair was wet, after having refused to put her hood up. Currently screaming at me because she’s hungry and I won’t let her have biscuits (dinner’s in about 20 minutes). Naturally she didn’t eat the breakfast, or indeed lunch, when I gave them to her.
Reading this back is fucking depressing.

My small humans both threw a strop as I've banned YouTube. However the weather sucks, I'm exhausted and I've given in to video games.
They keep telling eachother to shut up.
The smallest resident aka the cat aka Lady Ruler of the Universe has been good today, but has this week had diarrhea on the rug, been sick twice and had a wee on the rug too. In her defence she's 17.
My 5 year old has learned new words from video games today. Disintegrator for one.

@thenewaveragebear1983 oh my, she is adorable, she doesn't look naughty .

@YesPleaseMary I'm sorry, it sounds tough, can I suggest you trade them in for an adorable kitten .

My dc have been pretty good but was watching friends dc. Her dd sat on my suede sofa and proceeded to pee and poo her pants

No @madambee , this is how she gets away with it!! Climbing curtains, hiding, all the usual kitten stuff!

The dc have been fairly well behaved this week, although there's been a computer ban which although was initially met with disdain, had actually made them a lot more settled. Fewer fights and fewer whinges.

@thenewaveragebear1983 she's lovely! What is the naughty kitty's name? And please feel free to post more photos of her...

Youngest (7 SN) tipped the huge box of lego onto the bedroom floor as I was hoovering it- I felt the whoosh of it clattering to the floor. 3 kids and 15 years worth of teeny tiny lego pieces. I'd just finished picking it up. 'Watered' the utility floor with a watering can whilst I went for a wee, painted an outside window with magnolia paint and a paper scraper whilst i was chopping onions- i thought he was feeding rabbit, but nope! Stood on my breast as I was layed on the floor retrieving coins from under the sofa (also his doing) and when I screamed in protest he kneed me in the hip with his full weight. Called our disabled childrens services social worker a bloody nincompooper and just as I was gritting my teeth at yet another train being bathed in my now cold cup of tea- he bashed his head against mine and kissed mine better. Soon be bedtime!!!

@thenewaveragebear1983 Oh. My. God. That face!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@madambee mine does that to! 😂 She becomes streak lightening whe she's either pooed or about to!!! She is funny...she came in with her white face covered in black cobwebs yesterday! On purpose I think!

@Really123456
ooh yes the sprint of relief when done, mine does that too .

My little human (6’2”, 14 yo) has whinged at being thrown off my bed where he was revising. My bed is apparently better for revising as the light is brighter- no love, I’ve just opened the curtains, magically yours do the same thing!

Mine is 16. All I get is there is no food in the house ( there is tons just stuff he has to make an effort to put together ) he needs me to run him into town to go shopping with his friends. He needs money. Can he go to the gym. It is no better when they get older. All of this by text as I’m at work.