Tell me about ‘being kind’

[phivephatphish]

In the wake of Caroline Flack’s death, the Internet is awash with ‘be kind’.But what does it actually mean? I’m not a great one for SM, so I don’t track people down and write nasty things on their twitter feed or Fb. But I can think of 2 instances in the last few weeks where I’ve been less than kind. 1. Decorator did dreadful job. Was ‘being kind’ saying nothing? Because I didn’t say nothing. It was awful and i told him so (and he agreed) and asked him take the wallpaper off the wall, and I didn’t pay him for what was 2 days work (but I didn’t charge him for replacement wallpaper). 2. A particularly difficult mum at school who needs a lot of support, I have neither the time, patience or expertise to help this woman. Nor do I want to cultivate an out of school friendship between our children, and I’ve told the mum this (rather than ignore endless texts asking for play dates). That’s not kind either, is it? And I can think of instances where my behaviour towards these people might be the very last straw. But if we actually thought real people that we personally know were about to go out and top themselves we’d all be a lot nicer. Being kind and being walked over straddle the same line.

I detest all the 'be kind' stuff. Not because I'm an arsehole who likes to bully people, far from it. But I hate the way it is used to shut people up. You mustn't disagree with me because it makes me feel unsafe. You mustn't criticise anyone, even if their behaviour is utterly appalling, because they might just be having a bad day. All that sort of crap.

I think being a decent human being, showing compassion, not bullying people (online or elsewhere), helping others who are less fortunate if you can, and just generally not being a self centred nightmare are good aims in life.

But I don't think that the social media version of 'be kind' is something that people should aspire to.

@Downton57 I agree that the words used to tell someone they're ugly on sm are the same as in rl but the context is entirely different. Surely that's obvious, given that most celebrities don't open their door to find 5000 randoms expressing a view on their appearance every day.

I dunno, I think we're all feeling our way with this and that drawing comparisons between rl interaction doesn't help. Of course people act differently online. Half the time when they post this shit they're thinking about likes, for starters. It's a different way of communicating.

@fantababy well that's the democratising effect of the internet, right there.

You can say whatever the fuck you want.

Turns out that people saying whatever the fuck they want isn't an optimal place for humans to be.