Can anyone give me some advice on these flashback things?

[ElleMcFearsome]

My very DH had a stroke 3 weeks ago. It was completely out of the blue, in front of my eyes. It was a deep brain bleed, not a clot and he was in some significant danger for a period of time. The NHS have been beyond amazing and he is on the path now to recovery, albeit slowly.

The whole thing was completely terrifying, he is a fit and healthy 55 year old, no underlying medical conditions and no obvious reason for this (he had a huge blood pressure spike which was what caused the bleed). We were in resus for 8.5 hours whilst they tried to get his blood pressure down and there was a period of time when they weren't sure he was going to live.

However, 3 weeks on and things look much better. He is off the acute ward and in a fantastic rehab facility at my local hospital. I have visited him every day and I have masses of support from family and friends. I'm very lucky. But... I'm getting these, I don't even know what to call them - flashbacks maybe? I'm fine, and then out of the blue I feel like I'm watching him collapse, or in the ambulance with him, or in resus watching him get worse, or in the room with the consultant saying 'I can't do that' when I'm asking her to tell me that he's going to live. It feels so real, like it's happening again and it completely winds me. They don't last long, maybe 30 seconds or so but they are deeply unpleasant. I haven't spoken to anyone about this as I'm trying to be positive with everybody and I am so grateful for how well things have gone, when I know the outcome could have been a lot worse.

Has anybody had anything similar? Any thoughts or advice?

It sounds like you’re having a completely normal reaction to something traumatic - flashbacks are part of the way we process trauma, kind of like the brain refiling what we’ve been through into our memory. Do you have someone to talk to about what happened? Not necessarily and therapist or counsellor but folk who can help you make sense of it all?

It’s really early days yet so expect to have flashbacks, maybe feeling more anxious and tearful than usual - it’s hard when your DH is so poorly but try to look after yourself too, you’ve had a massive shock so just go slowly for a while. That initial reaction usually passes with time and care but if it continues think about maybe seeing a therapist who specialises in trauma to help you process it all.

I hope your DH has a full recovery.

Sounds like PTSD, you watched something traumatic happen to someone very close to you, you need to go tell a doctor so they can refer you to counselling, if you can afford it you could go straight to a therapist or counsellor.

Flashblacks of traumatic events its a strong theme within PTSD, like someone coming back from war and having flashbacks where they think they're back there.

I agree, this could be PTSD - speak to your GP and ask for specialist help with it as soon as you can.

Flashblacks of traumatic events its a strong theme within PTSD, like someone coming back from war and having flashbacks where they think they're back there.

It’s a bit soon for a PTSD diagnosis, if the symptoms continue for a period of time then PTSD may be an issue but immediately following something traumatic the OPs description sounds pretty normal.

Thank you all I haven't spoken to anyone about this as I feel that DH had the stroke and I don't want to be all 'yes... but what about meeeeeeee?' - if that makes any sense! It's really reassuring to know that this is a common reaction though. Maybe I'll try to talk to one of my good friends about it, I've been trying not to talk through the actual events with that many people as this just does seem to make me go through it all emotionally again and I hate the fact that I get teary at the point where I need to be together and coping.

Maybe I'll try to talk to one of my good friends about it, I've been trying not to talk through the actual events with that many people as this just does seem to make me go through it all emotionally again and I hate the fact that I get teary at the point where I need to be together and coping.

That emotional reaction is really normal - you thought your DH was dying, hard though it is being able to talk about it, cry about it will help. Also think about some gentle exercise, things like walking or swimming or yoga will help discharge all pent up energy that comes with trauma and help settle your system a bit. It’s natural to feel really shook up.

It's a normal part of trauma processing, if it continues beyond the normal period for trauma processing (usually about 3 months) then it may have developed into PTSD, but at this point it's normal trauma processing after a horrible traumatic experience.

One good bit of advice I was given when I was getting flashbacks after DS had an accident a couple of years back was to look for something boring and non-emotive in the image and try to focus on that, which is hard at first but helps to take the emotional wallop out of them. What colour was the paramedic's hair, or the consultant's shirt? Were the staff all in the same colour scrubs? Just something boring and everyday. Do speak to someone about it though, and I hope your DH has a swift recovery.