Dating but not fancying

[Xja12]

Hi ladies, some advice please. I was divorced 5 years ago, my children are in their mid teens, and I think I should finally have a proper go at online dating and finding a partner. I miss the companionship, would love a soul mate and need to look at my future for when the dc finally leave home.
My problem is that I go on a date or two, quite like most of the men as people but don’t find I can imagine myself having sex with them. I just don’t particularly fancy middle aged men! Not saying I am god’s gift but just being honest.
I then find an excuse to back off as by date three or four the expectation is there for more.
I should say that though I do long for a sexual relationship again, my sex drive is not massively high and I have probably been put off by my ex who was a huge sex pest and sulked if he didn’t have it twice a day. Maybe I see it as an obligation more than a pleasure. I don’t know!
Very confused about the whole issue. I just can’t see a way forward and wishing my sex drive was high enough to cut down the barriers in my head.
Anyone else felt like this?

No advice I am afraid, but I suffer from the same problem.
I have been OLD on and off for years and I am never attracted to anyone in my age range who gets in contact. When seeing their profile photo I go 'really?' Now I am not a 10/10 myself, but slim, good for my age and I hate to use the word attractive?
All I seem to attract is short, balding and overweight men...something seems to occur when they hit the over 50's mark.
Then it is the droll messages 'hi babe' 'gorgeous' 'nice legs' ' how's you' They cannot even string a sentence together.
As a result I very rarely go on any dates as you can imagine, it seems to be an annual occurrance now :)
I have lowered my standards significantly and will message back someone I am not attracted to as long as they come across as reasonably intelligent and articulate. But, the same as you every single time there is a meet up there is zero spark for me.
The advice is to give them a second chance, that does nothing for me apart from confirm what I felt the first time round as soon as I set eyes on them.
I wonder if there are any fanciable men over 50 out there at all and of course I realise everyones taste is different. Is it too much to expect to find someone who you actually fancy once you are in your 50's or have all the men in this age range gone to pot?
I think I am destined to be alone, which 90% of the time I am, it would just be nice to have some male company sometimes.

Hi @crimsonlake,
Thanks for your reply. I find it reassuring that I am not the only one, but also worrying. Is there any hope! Some of the guys I have met are nice people, intelligent and interesting but there is zilch going on for me physically. I have recently been on three dates with a 53 year old man. The first date I made myself go on and was pleasantly surprised. He was a lot better than many others. The second I thought he was a really nice person but by the third, I imagining things moving on and am again not feeling it. I then feel wretched as I feel I have strung him on and am left feeling that there is something wrong with me. I am so envious of my friends who have been with their partners for years and have an easiness between them. I don’t know what I can do about it.

Xja12, I am not looking for handsome in the conventional sense, I am looking for that spark and yes someone that you could imagine kissing, not someone you hope wont try and kiss you.
Clearly personality is more important than anything, god knows I was married to a handsome man who was devoid of personality for long enough.
On the whole most men I have actually made the effort to meet have been pleasant, some more interesting than others. A few I have found spend the entire time wanting to talk about themselves and have discovered nothing about me and with a couple of those it has not been through nerves.
Your friends have that ease in their relationships because they have been with their partners for years.
I was where you are a few years ago, met another perfectly nice man, saw him a few times. He clearly liked me and was thoughtful...but we never exchanged a kiss because to be honest the thought repulsed me a bit. I wish it had been different, but if it is not there no matter how hard you search I do not think you will find it.
I do not know what the answer is, is it really too much to expect to find a little spark when we are in our 50's? It is similar to searching for the holy grail, only I feel too diinterested to do any searching.
If you discover the secret please let me know :)