So after 3 1/2 long, heart breaking weeks waiting to hear if my baby was alive, I finally had surgery yesterday. I was honestly terrified, not helped by my irrational fear of needles, but I needn't have been. I had a general anesthetic woke up and it was all over, no pain and minimal bleeding. I'm writing this in the hope that I can settle someone else's nerves. I have to say the waiting for weeks and repeated scans was by far the hardest.
I feel like I did all my grieving while I was waiting and (I hope this doesn't sound heartless) yesterday was some what of a relief. My angle baby will always be in my heart but I finally feel I can move on. I'm desperate to try again as I'm very conscious of my age (34). It only took 3 months to get pregnant after being on the pill for 10 years so I'm keeping my fingers crossed it happen s quickly again.
To anyone going through this you have my deepest sympathy and I promise it does get better over time.