Romance and ownership

[ILikeyourHairyHands]

It's the 14th of Feb and there are many threads about sadness and confusion regarding Valentine's day.

There are also so many threads about engagement rings, and wedding dresses and veils.

I cannot believe that we're in the 21st century and romance is still a thing, I can't believe that women still think that waiting for a ring and a proposal is desirable. There are threads on here all the time about rings and proposals.

Why? It's utterly shite for women to see themselves as a commodity. To be asked? No. No. No.

Couldn't agree more.

Agree!

Wedding dresses and engagement rings.

I can't express how utterly fucking terrible the fact these things still exist make me feel.

I agree completely. I thought the concept of the "helpless" woman unless she is with a man / desperately needs to be asked to marry was long gone.

It seems not Pavlova.

When my husband asked me to marry him, I was delighted as I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and,it seems, him with me.

When I got married I wanted a wedding dress. I wanted to look beautiful. Is that so wrong?

What's wrong with wedding dresses now? Is it the virgin white thing?

Surely only if you see these things as ownership?

Bit like people who hate Disney because of cinderella.. When most modern Disney 📼 reflected modern society

It is the virgin white big frock thing.

DH and I want to spend our lives together. We are married, it was always an agreed thing though. The idea of a man asking me to marry him. No. WE got married. I wasn't married to him.

I dislike Disney because it's largely shit.

It's the difference between people who talk about deaders as 'passed away' and those who use the word dead.

You don’t like the idea of getting engaged or white wedding dresses - good job you aren’t forced to do/have either.

Don’t assume it carries the same paternalistic bullshit meaning for others that it does for you.

Don't like it, don't do it.

Must be great to suck the joy out of everything and only see the negative.

You go girl!

I asked him

What did you wear to your wedding? Do you have a ring?

I think you are reading too much into it. When or if my daughters marry I’ll be celebrating them entering a supportive partnership between equals. I expect I’ll be delighted. I don’t see them as comodities to be traded, or as “waiting for a man,” at all.

Please don’t watch Love Island. Only the boys get to ask the girls to be their girlfriends. Girls don’t seem to take the initiative on that. It would break your heart.