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Original poster

Crying in public, embarrassed!

24 replies

Unsureconfused46 · 14/02/2020 23:41

Hello,
I'm going through a difficult patch at the moment and overwhelmed (various things on my plate) and constantly on the verge of tears but manage to keep it controlled well so no one knows. Feel very ridiculous but tonight in Lidl I suddenly felt this urge to cry. Luckily the shop wasn't busy, I was embarrassed as tears were running down my face. Quickly composed myself and finished my shop. I also find when people ask if I'm OK when I'm emotional that I want to cry even harder, or if people are kind to me while I'm upset. Just feel very exhausted now and drained.
My mother is very ill, my son has undiagnosed SEN and problems at school, I have bad anxiety and very stressed plus low self esteem and feelings of worthlessness. I'm fearful of the future and for my son and how he will cope. I'm hoping after a good night's sleep i'll feel better

OP posts:

Skyejuly · 14/02/2020 23:43

Don't be embarrassed. We've all had it. I had it yesterday whilst walking home. I felt horrid.

pumpkinpie01 · 14/02/2020 23:46

Ah you poor thing you have a lot on your plate and you just got overwhelmed. Try and have a good nights sleep and treat yourself tomorrow x

Original poster

Unsureconfused46 · 14/02/2020 23:47

Thank you for your kind words

OP posts:

MeadowHay · 14/02/2020 23:54

I cry in public a lot. Not so much these days as I used to. I used to have depression and even worse anxiety than I do now. I still cry in public probably every month or so tbh. I get overwhelmed usually with my anxiety. I can count on one hand the number of times anyone has tried to help me. Unlike you I like it when they do because as I say, my tears are usually a result of acute anxiety so if someone can help me with the thing I'm anxious about, it helps. I can understand why that wouldn't be the case in your situation though. Try to sleep now. Tomorrow is a new day.

TheDeadLadyOfClownTown · 14/02/2020 23:57

Honestly, I don't think of myself as an emotional person but I've had at least two massive breakdowns in public. Blubbing mess snot the full works lol.
I don't think most people would even notice a few tears shed.
Are you ok? You have a lot of stuff on your hands, I've been in same boat and it sucks. Yes you will definitely feel better after sleep. Hoping you're well xxx

purpleme12 · 14/02/2020 23:57

I did it the other day too I was so upset about something I couldn't help it

NigellaAwesome · 15/02/2020 00:13

My DH calls me CryBabyAwesome.

I've never really managed to cope that well with keeping feelings inside. I've learned to accept it. I still feel embarrassed, but with a severe work stress situation that has lasted for almost 2 years, to the point of a diagnosis of PTSD, I have lost count of how many people I have wept in front of. There is a certain point where you no longer care as much as you once would have done.

I know what you mean about the impact that kindness has on you. It is easier for me if people are business-like - kindness just tips me over the edge as they are acknowledging the raw emotion.

On a practical level, I have found that listening to hypnosis/meditation tracks helps me to manage anxiety, and when I can actually motivate myself to do it, yoga also helps (I like Yoga with Adrienne, free on Youtube). Diazepam is also a friend when things get really bad. I found propranolol a huge help until it interacted with my asthma.

You have a lot on your plate at the moment, so be kind to yourself.

pooriver · 15/02/2020 00:16

I'm going through a tough time just now & I cry everywhere. At work, in public, at hospital. Meh. Life is hard.

herbsmokedchicken · 15/02/2020 00:18

I’ve had that, I got dumped back in July and whilst I’m not over it yet I’m a lot better but at the time I was absolutely gutted and could often be seen shopping after work with tears filming down my cheeks. I’d brush them away as quickly as possible but I just couldn’t stop them. I’d also have tears rolling down my cheeks at my desk as well - not full on crying, I managed to contain that to loo breaks, but just couldn’t stop the tears leaking out. Sometimes you just can’t keep it in! Hope you’re feeling a bit better now

BlueHarry · 15/02/2020 00:25

Oh don't worry op. I have done this a lot and I really don't think anyone notices most of the time. On a particularly bad day, a woman asked me if I was ok, and I just burst into tears. She was lovely though, it restored some hope in me and I am glad that it happened. Sometimes it helps to let it all out.

TheNestedIf · 15/02/2020 00:40

It could be worse. I was once walking home, successfully hiding the fact I was crying to the point some random man asked me directions. As I did my best to help him, he suddenly clocked the puffy, moist eyes, panicked, tried to give me some money and when I explained I didn't need money I was just sad, panicked again and gave me a hug which just made me cry more.

Hope tomorrow morning finds you feeling better.

Trumpton · 15/02/2020 00:43

I cried in M&S this week . I was getting DS flowers and chocolate for his birthday and underestimated how busy it would be . The queues were horrendous and I felt really unwell .
I asked an assistant who was stocking shelves to put the two items through ( jumping the queue ) and she took one look at my streaming face and was so kind . She took me to a clothing till and asked if I wanted water and a chair .
Sometimes we all get over whelmed .

purpleme12 · 15/02/2020 00:49

@TheNestedIf oh I think this is lovely. A stranger gave you a hug cos you were upset. He sounds so caring

TheNestedIf · 15/02/2020 00:52

@purpleme12 He was nice. More strangers are nice than people appreciate. I try to pay it forward.

avamiah · 15/02/2020 00:57

I’m sorry you were upset OP, but just let it out.
I have been through a very stressful time myself over Christmas with my little girls dad.
I was in tears everyday nearly, I cried myself to sleep .
But time is a great healer.
Stay strong .

sassafras123 · 15/02/2020 01:01

Try and get some sleep and relax. Its your body telling you to stop and take a breather.

Menopauseandteensdontmix100 · 15/02/2020 01:04

See how you feel tomorrow OP and try and be kind to yourself.
I went through a phase of doing this years ago. I think I was depressed I went to the docs and he gave me some tablets. I didn’t take these for long yes they stopped the tears in the street and sadness but I didn’t get the little occasional lifts and happy feelings if it’s a nice day, someone smiles at you in the street, or if you see a cute baby or child etc. I think they kind of numbed me but they helped me get over these feelings and I have never been quite as bad again. Take care.
Have you a good friend you could meet up for a good old natter and a laugh with?

Onesailwait · 15/02/2020 02:19

Aww be kind to yourself, we all get over come sometimes. I has a particularly shouty morning with my kids last week, I dropped them off at school and sobbed all the way back to the car. Luckily it was raining really hard so i could hide under my brolly. Sometimes it feels better once you let it all out

Shoveoff · 15/02/2020 02:22

I’m on Prozac and it has taken away the “edge of tears” feelings.

AfterSchoolWorry · 15/02/2020 02:29

Yeah Prozac is great. I was never a big crier before it but I don't cry at all on it.

Skyejuly · 15/02/2020 08:53

Most people will be helpful or oblivious to it. I get worse if people try to ask if I am ok.

copperoliver · 15/02/2020 09:05

Don't be embarrassed life is tough sometimes.
Maybe book and appointment with your Gp. Who can be a great help, you may need anti depressants for a bit until you start to feel better and the I cope talking therapy is good.
Best wishes. X

MrsTidyHouse · 15/02/2020 09:17

I quietly dissolved in the school office area a couple of weeks ago. Got a lovely hug from the nursery assistant, cried some more because it made me feel about five years old and safe, then got on with things. I still cry in the car sometimes, and in quiet places where I can hear my thoughts. The last time was M&S food hall.

Fluoxetinehelped in the past, but I didn’t like the numbness.

Original poster

Unsureconfused46 · 25/02/2020 21:37

I'm back sorry. I'm not sure what happened, I'd written a reply last week but doesn't appear to be on here! Thanks for the kind responses. Life does get too much all at once and it's a struggle but keep plodding on! I've been to see my GP who has referred me to IAPT

OP posts:

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