Ideas of what I can do for an elderly lady

[EnglishRain]

I volunteer with my dog, and we go to visit people. Think Pets as Therapy, but this is at someone's home, one on one.

A lady I currently see is unable to walk. She has carers five times a day who help to get her up and get her meals for her etc. From what I understand, she goes to bed whenever the last carer of the day turns up, so sometimes it can be quite early eg. 6pm. She is unable to move around the house by herself.

She's so lovely. We have chatted about families and holidays, childhoods, our pets, current affairs. She struggles with her hands and is unable to knit anymore, and she also has very bad cataracts, so is unable to read. I had no idea her eyesight was so bad until today. She has a washing line outside the living room window with bird feeders on and likes to watch the birds, but can't see them well. She can't really see the TV either. She doesn't have any friends or family locally, and I gather people like me are her only visitors besides the carers.

Whenever I ask if there is anything I can get her she says she is OK, doesn't want a drink as it means she will need the loo, for example. When I get there I put the leftovers from her lunch out for the birds to encourage them to come into view for her, and make sure she is warm enough when I am there and before I go.

Can anyone think of some ideas of things I can chat to her about, or something we could do together?

Thank you

The restricting fluid intake because of difficulties getting to the loo is so common and I cared for my friends mum who was in v similar position - 5 carers a day ,put to bed at 6pm .

It's so sad .i agree she probably should drink more and also that I think I've heard that the more concentrated the urine is the more it irritates the bladder and makes you want to wee .( not sure if this is true )

My friend and I drove ourselves ( and her mum ) demented trying to overcome the not drinking to avoid weeing cycle . For her though we never won and it didn't make much difference .

OP that's lovely what you are doing .I found doing my mums nails ( soaking fingers ,cleaning ,buffing ) was good .And talking about the past .I used to worry that I should be doing more to entertain her but understand now that as you get older you don't always suffer from the boredom that others imagine you do .A lot ( not all ) are tired and can't cope with much .

When my DM lost her sight I used to do crosswords with her as she'd always done them but couldn't anymore.

Are there any grants locally to help with installing a downstairs loo, assuming space? This was one reason dm moved. Maybe local Age uk would know.

Audiobooks from the library are definitely a great idea. She should be entitled to free ones due to her disability.

Could you play games with her if she feels up to it & wants to? Things like naming a country/animal/plant with each letter of the alphabet etc?

Can anybody visit with a pet?

I second an Alexa for her to interact with. It can read audiobooks to you too. I use mine for music.

My grandfather is older now and not doing so great. We ask him advice on things we know he likes to talk about, like gardening and caravans. It seems to help with his mood.

confused the OP is visiting with her dog but wondering what else she can do .

You're such a kind soul, well done! Podcasts and audiobooks?

peridito I missed that bit Need more coffee

No additional ideas for things to do but the elderly lady I visited (also with my dog) had poor eyesight too. I always took her a bunch of the most brightly coloured flowers I could find and she loved that.

You sound like a lovely person, OP. What a great use of volunteer time.

Second the suggestions for audiobooks and podcasts. There is a podcast for everything these days and it would be something an older person probably has no idea even exists.

confused didn't mean to sound snarky !

if only more coffee would fix my brain fog !

Peridito you didn't. I keep drinking coffee but it hasn't done much yet

Actually, that's another idea, maybe silly but who knows. Could you take 5 or 6 sealed containers with strong scents for her to enjoy? Maybe coffee, a perfume sample (you could get a few from perfume counters if you ask), perhaps some pine leaves etc?

Also, keeping on the scented theme, could you treat her to a lovely smelling hand cream? Use it to give a hand massage, as pp have suggested, then gift her the rest of the tube?

Another thought- could you get a mobile hairdresser to visit? She might like the feeling of hair being seen to & possibly head massage. Or can you brush her hair if she likes that?

I don’t have a lot of advice but want to say you are doing such a lovely thing. It is so upsetting to think of all the older lonely people in this country. I walk a dog for a 90 year old lady who luckily is still quite mobile but has very little family and is quite lonely (although she won’t admit it). More than anything she likes to talk and likes the company, I only walk the dog for half and hour a day but am often there longer to chat and now take her food shopping as she was struggling getting a taxi and doing it alone, again I think she just wants to companionship.