Kids just get harder and harder don’t they?

[Needtobepositive]

Take me back to the newborn and toddler days as opposed to the 8 and 11 years that are now. We have a medical condition to deal with now which is horrible but also dealing with pre teen strops and anger. Tiredness from says and worry about secondary school next year. Take me back!!

Mines nearly 6 and it's gotten easier and easier so far! I'll get back you when she's a tween/teen!

😂. I’ve not felt like this before since they were born. Just feels relentless and full on at the moment. I’m kind of looking forward to half term for the rest for us all but kind of dreading all the moaning and arguements.

I found the newborn bit pretty horrific but it's been gradually uphill since. I do only have one though!

I think if it wasn’t for our chronic illness things would be easier. But I’m not sure they’d be as lovely as they used to be.

I hear you OP. DD has had ME from 14-18 so far. She should be going to uni in Sept. Instead I'm her full time carer. But sometimes I'm thankful she is at home every day and I'm not worrying about boyfriends, drugs, alcohol!

My 8 year old is no trouble and actually helps. My 6 year old is mostly no trouble. My 3 year old... Well.... We're getting there!

I expect it will all start downhill again in a few years..

Oh bloody hell OP don't say that!! Mine are 3 and 6 and I was hoping we were heading towards calmer waters

My 8 year old is worse than my 11 year old. @BonnesVacances yes illnesses are the worst. Your poor daughter. It really sucks doesn’t it. I hate all the worry that comes with it too.

@Drogonssmile maybe I just looking back with rose tinted glasses after a bad day 🤷‍♀️

to those with illness to cope with too. That's really difficult.

I've found it easier and easier as they got older. Baby and toddler stages were fine, but 4,6 and 9 - nooooo! But the teen years have been easy - not perfect, but easy. They're 17 and 19 now and they're just great.

Mine are 4 and 1 so I’m not really speaking from experience, but from people around me there seem to be things that get harder and things that get easier. Some people would have you believe it just gets worse and worse, but I think it’s natural to be focused on the hardships of what we are dealing with right now, and have a skewed perception of old problems. The way I could hardly remember certain hardships from DC1 baby years when I had DC2 proves that. In my case I found DC1 baby stage so traumatic I must have blocked some of it out! It was a terribly lonely, gruelling time where I was unhappy so much more than I could have ever imagined I’d be.

Anyhoo, I am sorry that you are struggling just now and that it’s been a bad day. Hope all looks a little better after a sleep.

I agree with you. Mine are just about the same age, 8 and nearly 11.

No illness to deal with ( for you) but DH died three years ago. I’m feeling so lonely, and like I’m failing them too. They’ve both been horrid at home this week, and this evening has ended with a big family barney. Terrific. Suppose I need to cling to the fact that they are delightful for everyone else 🙄

Sending fortitude.

My teens are fine. Can get themselves up and ready, I don't have to nag about homework, they don't need to be entertained, and my 16 year old has a moped so I don't have to taxi him around (he also has a part time job so pays his own way when going out). My son even cooks for himself and does his own ironing. So in term of physical care easy peasy.
What gets harder is the psychological care - exam stress, friendship trauma, boyfriend/girlfriend heartbreak, temptation of drink and drugs, and the worry about the future.
And I still can't get them to empty the dishwasher!

Mine are 9 and 7 and I find it much easier than the baby and toddler stage.

For me the first two years were the hardest, then years 3 to 6.
I look upon the ages 7 to 11 as the golden years when they were utterly delightful. I loved having teenagers but slowly they grow away. Mine are now in their 20s and being a parent never ends, you still worry about them but you can do little to help.

9 and 11 here...some things are easier, some aren't.

Bonuses are they are out of the house for six hours a day at school

They don't wake up early on weekends and when they do they don't disturb us, just go and watch tv quietly. I have lie ins again!

Worst bits are the back chat and attitude...My ds is like Jekyll and Hyde...absolutely lovely, funny, clever, nice to talk to then can be absolutely obnoxious. Aaarrrgghh

Just hang in there... and get wine in ready for the teen years shudders at memory

I found 8-11 tough.. they weren't old enough to be independent but were old enough to be obnoxious!
The teen years were... tough..at times but glorious at others.

Then one magic day, you realise you have adult children who are absolutely amazing humans, with all the love in them that they gave as babies but independent. You still worry all the time because you can't fix things with a hug, but the company makes up for it.

Mine were all fabulous by 18...

With you.

0-3 was hard work, a bit like digging over a potato patch. 3-11 was great, with the odd glitch. 12-16 was horrible, I wound up on SSRIs for most of it. She's 24 now, and really rather excellent. She picked a good 'un, and they produced a good looking lunatic.

Sorry you are having to deal with an ill child, that must really complicate things and make them much harder.

I'm touching wood as I say this, but I find parenting somewhat easier as time goes on. I think the big difference for me is the increasing independence of my child. I found the baby stage where you don't get 2 minutes to yourself quite difficult. That's not so much of a problem now. Each life stage does bring new challenges but I find that being able to get some time to myself makes it easier to cope, as a rule.