Just that really. I’ve no one in RL to speak to so just on here hoping for a bit of support. I’m a mum to 3 youngish dcs. One of them is very sick with tonsillitis at the moment and I’m recovering from it myself now. I’ve also been diagnosed as having extremely low ferritin a few months (2) ago so don’t know if that is at play here. I’ve been taking high dose iron tablets everyday and need to go and get retested soon. I just feel v low and worn down. I feel pathetic even saying it, part of the reason is my mother had a lot more kids and I just feel like I can never complain or if I do it feels pathetic like “get on with it, it’s only tonsillitis etc”. “We were never tired”
When I had my first dc I was a total earth-mother, it was so natural to me, also I just didn’t realize that I had an easy child tbh. My second and third have been wonderful of course but v , v bad sleepers. My 2nd didn’t sleep without numerous wakes until he was 4. My 3 year old has just started sleeping through although usually one wake. I just seem to find it so hard. Everyone else makes it look easy. I’m always tired ( I eat v healthily and exercise v regularly too) . I find my dcs being ill really stressful as I worry about them but also I’m paranoid about them all getting it. Like it’s really making me anxious, I’ve washed sheets, constantly cleaning surfaces, thrown out toothbrushes etc as i really don’t want them getting tonsillitis.
What them being ill means is numerous nightwakes, taking time off work etc. I work from home but can’t when the dcs are off really. So I’m concerned that this week by dc has it , next week someone else has it etc. I’m just burnt out and we have been stuck indoors when usually we are out and about everyday. I’m just really having a low day. My dh is excellent but works ft. I have friends but they are all busy with their own kids and have good family support. Like this morning my son was so ill from tonsillitis that he could barely walk and I had to bring him to dr and take my 3 year old who is a bolter. He kept running off (I forgot buggy), my older child had to be sick so was trying to manage keeping the three year old away from him while helping him. It just always feels like I’m barely coping and yet people deal with way worse situations. Makes me feel pathetic. I have been up since 4am...
Hoping maybe for a handhold or some positive vibes. I guess I just don’t necessarily feel like things are getting easier..