Accusation against DP by a DC

[Whatshouldwedo1241]

Just looking for a little advice really. DP has received a phone call from an upset mother of a child his DC go to school with.

Long story short, DP was picking DC up from school and was messing around with DC as she was playing running circles around him with a friend. DP was playing around and grabbed both his DC and DC friend by the arm and was pretending to be a monster.

DC friend seemed fine and was giggling but several days later the DC Mum has called DP saying her DC said he hurt her and is annoyed.

DP was quite taken aback and explained he was only messing around with the DC and said sorry if her DC was upset.

DP is worried that this parent could try and take things further. Other parents were around but he doesn't remember if anyone was watching them. It's unlikely as it's busy at the school gates.

DP wondered what else he should do? He has said sorry to DC Mum and would do the same to DC when he sees her but he's concerned this could get blown out of proportion. He's definitely learnt sadly he can't play around with other DC.

It's tricky OP, all you can really do is hope it doesn't get taken further. It seems unlikely the other DC would have raised it if it hadn't hurt or upset them. Unfortunately your DP did it so will have to face the consequences if they do arise.

I would think, that if they arent saying there's been an injury then probably nothing will come of it but I'm not sure theres much he can 'do'. I certainly wouldn't have him approach the child to speak about it in person or alone and would just let it lie for a bit, or call the mum, ask if the dc is ok now and express that you hope to see them soon/arrange a playdate etc, Resume normal activities, whatever those were.

Thanks for the reply. It's odd that it's nearly a week later that it's been raised.

DP called Mum back and she said DC seems ok now. She had a cold so maybe that's the reason for the delay. It all seems very odd. Thankfully Mum seems ok now but DP has learnt not to play around with any other children.

DP has learnt not to play around with any other children

And that is the part that makes this very sad. Presuming what you have said is accurate, what your DP was doing was very innocent and probably good fun for all kids involved and now after this he will just hold back and not involve himself in any kids activities.

@cstaff yes it is very sad. It is such a shame as he is always playing around making the kids laugh in a completely harmless and innocent way. Some Dads show zero interest in even their own kids and yet my DP is always available run kids to parties or playdates but this little scare has got him so worried that he just can't risk it.

Hm. As long as he isn’t like my friend’s DP, who is the life and soul of the kid’s party, has to be the centre of attention, and always always goes too far with over-exciting the kids and getting them wound up, while mums smile thinly and try to calm everything down before someone gets hurt, you’re probably ok. No one dares actually say anything for fear of being called a killjoy, but he is more child than adult and has no real gauge of when he should tone it down. He counts it as a real success if they are all screaming and running around. And then goes off for some quiet time and leaves the real adults to pick up the pieces.

😢 it's so sad, isn't it?

I recall quietly telling DH not to engage with a 7-8 year old girl who was trying to join in with a game of (ball) catch at a swimming pool, with our DS's, 7/9 at the time.

Her uninterested intents were on pool loungers, on their phones. I felt sorry for her but unfortunately a bloke cannot take risks with other people's DC, especially girls.

@nachthexe Ha no he isn't that bad. He's just an amazing attentive dad and doesn't like others to feel left out. But sadly now he will change his ways as it's just too worrying how an accusation could really damage someone's reputation.