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4 replies

MommyDD · 10/02/2020 14:17

Hello, last time I posted I was going into labour. Now my amazing daughter Is 3 months next week.
The birth was so traumatic, waters had to be broken and I went from 3cm to 10cm in less than an hour. Tried so hard to push her out, pain was so awful, here spine wasnt aligned with her head, so no amount of pushing would get her out. I was on gas and air then morphine. They then tried forceps twice, but my baby wiggled away from them. So a emergency doctor got called in, my baby was distressed heart beat went to 190, so emergency c section. I was terrified and already have an anxiety disorder. I lost a litre of blood and was so weak after. But baby was ok. I was in hospital best part of a week, I was so emotional as was my partner. I had a blood transfusion then a Infection. My baby was jaundice and her temperature very low. Skip to now. I'm still breastfeeding even after mastitis. But have delayed post natal anxiety and depression. I find myself getting jealous of my partner if hes feeding her or playing with her. He will feed her ebm if I need a break or if go out. He wants to do everything I do with her. If I do skin on skin he has to, if I breast feed he insists on feeding her at times too, if I play with her he will. It never bothered me til recently but I feel I have nothing of my own. Like no unique bond that's different to her and her dads. Everyone in his family and mine would say, before she was even born. That she would be a daddys girl. After everything I've gone through I want her to love me most. I know its selfish. I've never and will never interfere with their bond and relationship. This is just a feeling I'm scared to voice. Me and him clash as it is, and if I try to explain any insecurities he makes it about himself and scolds me. He lost his job before she was born so going through his own problems, so I've been supporting him and making sure hes ok alot. But I dont get it back. No on really asks about me anymore.

OP posts:
Willow4987 · 10/02/2020 14:22

Sorry to hear you’ve had such a hard time of it with the birth and after

I can understand where you’re coming from r.e wanting her to love you the most. It’s irrational but I feel it to (but without the PND which I imagine will compound the issue for you). It’s really hard when you’ve carried them, birthed them and endured all the side effects of that. Let alone breastfeeding and being the main carer for her.

I do think you need to speak to someone, including your DH, to explain how you’re feeling. You need support not criticism

Have you been to the GP for the PND?

MommyDD · 11/02/2020 00:13

Willow4987
Thank you for replying. I have a Cpn who I talk to, they have offered medication but in not to keen as I breast feed. I feel my mood has gotta worse. I talked to my partner about it, I think he feels hes doing something wrong when I'm low. I've explained it is not about him or what hes doing its just how I feel . I've just signed up to baby and mother groups so hoping that will help too, aswell as confiding in friends xxx

OP posts:
Mummysaid2020 · 11/02/2020 00:51

Hello,It is good you have written this.Many women have bad births.If you feel strongly that your health care was not O.K make a complaint,that is O.K.I think it sounds like YOU were not cared for so much by NHS. I lost a lot of blood giving birth,the nurse kept saying let's get you up,get in the bath.My Mother was shocked at the amount of blood and at how the nurses thought this normal,this was 15 years ago for me and I still have a problem with what happened. If you are unhappy with how the birth went,say so now. Enjoy the child you have,time goes really fast.Remember you made a beautiful person,you are stronger than you think.X

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Willow4987 · 11/02/2020 07:11

My friend has PND and has been on meds since her DS was a few days old, she was given ones suitable for breast feeding and has managed to do extended feeding until 2 years old. Have they offered you these ones?

You may be better getting this thread moved to the postnatal health section as people with more experience may be there?

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