How many international friends do you have?

[Betsyisamum]

It’s just occurred to me my friendship circle is really limited to mostly people that are white British and live quite close to me. I live in a rural North west location with no other nationalities and my kids go to a predominantly white British private school with only a handful of ethnic minorities.

How many people do you know that are first generation internationals.

I basically know a married Hindu couple and their kids - due to the school. That’s it

My friend lives in Portugal and socialises with a mix from Russian, German and French

My dd lives in the Middle East and knows/works with people from literally every corner of the world however only socialises with British people.

Both say there can be cultural differences in building friendships - such as humour, tone of voice, shared experiences etc..

So how many international people do you know who you are friends with and are cultural differences an issue?

It’s made me feel really segregated

Imaleh every day is a school day 😬

Oh god I bet I’ve said something like that to dh parents as well

German, Mexican, Polish, Canadian, Vietnamese, Ghanaian and Lithuanian.
I live in a pretty white middle class place.

Oh I have never been to uni or worked internationally, but do live in a very large, diverse city. I’d say all my friends are middle class professionals so not very diverse in that respect though.

Lots as my family is very mixed and I've lived abroad, also have various international friends from university and work.

I'm first gen immigrant myself so I know a LOT of people from other places/cultures. Cultural issues are always an issue in communication, always and forever. Even in relatively similar places like the UK and Norway. I have learned over the last thirteen years to check before getting upset, nearly always one or both of us has simply miscommunicated or meant something else. It's been a lesson very hard learned!

I am the international friend in my circle . DH is even more foreign.

Among my friends everyone is White British bar one lady. But actually the real silo-isation I see is a financial one.

Quite a lot. Of my team of 30 at work, I am one of 5 Brits and 3 of them have parents born in other countries. Similar for my last job. Dont really notice major cultural differences other than they laugh at me for not talking in lifts or saying thanks to bus drivers etc. Its not that diverse a team as we are all under40, all educated to at least degree etc.

I would say that my oldest friends from school and uni are all white British. I think that's just because there wasnt many people around that weren't white british at my school rather than conscious bias.

Lots, but I have lived overseas for 25 years. Dd’s best friends are from Korea and Australia. When attends a school with over 40 different nationalities.

Catalan
Spanish
Belgian-French
Belgian-Flemmish
Columbian
Vivian
Peruvian
Venezuelan
Argentinian
Texan
Italian
German
French
Senegalese
Romanian

A whole bunch, different classes, all interesting.

I grew up in a white MC bubble, that changed at university and I left UK for Europe in 1998.

Damntheman yes my dd struggled at first in the Middle East as she thought some nationalities where very abrupt and rude and when she questioned it they were shocked and apologetic they’d upset her. She now knows it’s not intentional however she can be quite sensitive

Wow - I find that amazing OP! I live in London and know / work with people from literally every corner of the globe. My DC go to a school where only about 15% of pupils are white British - the vast majority are black African or black Caribbean, Asian, EU nationals, Kurdish (or increasingly often, some incredible cocktail of the above)
We have Turkish people next door, Irish people next to them, Italian after that, then Spanish; there are French, South African, Chinese and Portuguese people across the road and Aussies and Indians around the corner. Round here, a person who has fully white British ancestry, and is married to someone with fully white British ancestry (and therefore has white British children) is almost unusual.

Pretty much all of them! But I live in London and work in quite an international profession. Quite a few of my friends have parents of different nationalities, neither of them British, and have children born here eg my friend is Irish/Dutch, his wife is American/Australian, they met, married and had kids in London so their children have British citizenship. Actually, even the few British born and bred friends I have, if you go back a generation or two, all have at least one non-British ancestor.

I can’t imagine your set up at all in terms of how it would feel.

I’m an army brat with parents from a pretty multicultural city so it’s completely normal to us to have friends and even family (married in) from a wide variety of nationalities and cultures.

Parents have over the years especially when dad was in the army had/have (they’ve loved being able to reconnect on Facebook with people they knew who’ve now returned to their home countries after retiring) friends from Nepal, Ghana, Sudan, South Africa, Morocco, Egypt, India, Hong Kong, Guyana, chile...

Even friends they have from glasgow inc 1st and 2nd generation Chinese, Indian, Bangladeshi, Ugandan, Japanese, polish, Italian (lots of Italian friends but as they’re catholic and there’s lots of Italians moved to glasgow not really unusual), Spanish, Russian...

My own friends hail from places like Sierra Leone, Ghana, Mauritius, usa, Canada, Iceland, Sweden, Norway, France, Italy, Belgium, New Zealand (and she’s Maori too), Australia, Germany, Netherlands, japan, Sudan, Ethiopia, Poland, Austria...

Some I met through the army, some were colleagues (especially nursing) some were neighbours, some I met at uni, some through other friends, some are people as I say who married into my family.

Do you really live in an area where you’re not meeting non white, non British people op or is it self selecting?

Also odd that your dd is working and living in the Middle East BUT not mixing socially outside the British community?

There can be slight differences in culture, humour etc but never so much so it’s difficult to socialise with them. We’ve far more in common than differences.

But even my friend who’s only ever lived in 2 houses in the same southern English village has friends from several different countries that she’s met through work or they’ve moved to the village.

“I think working internationally, going to uni AND living in a city is key here!”

It’s not the only way to know a wider range of people though. I find it hard to believe you have NOBODY in your nearby area in the Uk these days that isn’t at least 2nd Gen immigrant. Or that you don’t meet people through work or hobbies that are of different backgrounds?

I live now in a VERY white, working class, catholic part of Scotland and even here I have friends I’ve met at school gates, through being neighbours, through a hobby who are Polish, Ukrainian, South African, Indian, Brazilian and Argentinian.

Graphista I was asking about being friends with 1st gen internationals. I’ve worked with 2nd gen when I was younger and also went to school with second gen but never really knew their parents however I’m still friends with them on social media - but that wasn’t the point of my thread.

It’s not self selecting - I’m not like that and I think your looking for something that isn’t there - which isn’t fair. Dd says the U.K. expats gravitate towards each other 🤷‍♀️

I live rurally, farms, small local village. I don’t choose who lives here!

I live in a town in the South West. Because my children go to a catholic school, the nationalities are very diverse - lots of children with European parents, children from India, the Philippines, Ghana. I would say over half of my DS10's class speak a second language with one or both parents. Similar a lot of nationalities in DS8's class but I don't know those parents as well. On the other hand there is a large group of parents who grew up in this town, went to this school and have never left!

School friends: first gen Nigerian, Chinese, Pakistani, Greek off the top of my head.
Best friend now: Irish.
My own heritage: includes Italian, Irish and have African-American first cousins.
My own religious background was mixed Catholic and Orange which was pretty confusing growing up with to say the least!Christian, Hindu, Sikh, Muslim, Buddhist and atheist friends.
I'm in the NW too.

You might have got away with it Op.
The Dutch words are 'flamingo' and 'polystyreen'.

Very very few. I have a Swedish friend and a Russian couple in Tenerife
When I was involved with the Muslim community I had friends from Pakistan but ive mov d away from that religion.

It’s quite sad reality.., I love socialising with people from different cultures but the area I live in which is predominantly white British means that is not about to change any time soon

I am the international friend We live in DH's home country. I used to be the only foreigner in the village (unless you count my international offspring, but nobody can tell they're foreign). Although there is a Bulgarian family in the village now too. Actually DH's mum was from another country again, and his father was actually born in a fourth country although boarders changed and the area is now part of our current country, but again nobody knows unless it comes up in conversation. My parents are technically each from different countries, although both British.

So my children have grandparents from four countries, and are bilingual (sadly not trilingual - MIL sadly didn't speak her mother tongue to DH after he started school and declined to speak it to our children; I think she was embarrassed).

I know lots of people from Eastern Europe through work - the health service where I live would completely collapse without them.

I went to boarding school too so my school friends were from all over the world.

I have worked overseas and travelled extensively so I have lots of international friends and I am definitely the richer for it

I meant to say you might just not know people are "international" given your DH is half Dutch but you didn't mention that in your OP. Huge numbers of British people aren't actually 100% British if you go back a generation or two.

I know that another my mothers parents were both Irish - although I’ve never been over to see family there! I should really and will make a point of reaching out.

It’s just shown me how small my world is!

Family and friends include Poles, Italians, Indians, Czech, Malawian; Ugandan; Congolese; Salvadorean; Colombian. Some of them I don't see as much since we've moved to different countries but we still keep in contact on social media and the DCs know them through that.

Loads, I lived abroad for over 20 years and now work in a Uni in the UK where about 40% of the staff are from overseas. My husband currently works in the Netherlands and we own a house there too. Actually thinking about it I have more international friends than UK friends.

I have friends from;
Saudi
UAE
Yemen
Israel
South Africa
Australia
New Zealand
India
Iraq
USA
Canada
Venezuela
Trinidad and Tobago
Belize
Ireland
UK

Probably more I can’t think of