DP working away - kick up the arse required.

[Kitty1184]

DP has just been given a date for a course he's been waiting for for a long time. It's for a job he really wants, we've known this was going to happen for a while, and I couldn't be prouder of him. Our job means we can often be ships in the night, however this will be longest we've been apart, and the longest I'll have been alone for in my life.

He'll be away for 4 weeks, 6 hours away from where we live. I'm a massive wuss and hate being home alone. Whenever I'm alone upstairs, downstairs always sounds like it's full of rapists and burglars and arsonists.

2 of our cats always fight and I'm rubbish when they do. I hate scooping the cat poo and they bring me frogs and mice and I run away and hide. We have no kids so it's just going to be me and the 3 cats.

My mum spent 20 years as an army wife with my dad away regularly (for months at a time), and I'm very aware that I'm being a bit pathetic.

Any home alone tips, would be very welcome! I really need to stop being such a baby about this.

Whenever I'm alone upstairs, downstairs always sounds like it's full of rapists and burglars and arsonists.

In all the years you have lived somewhere, has there ever been rapists or burglars or arsonists congregating downstairs in your family living room?

I hate scooping the cat poo and they bring me frogs and mice and I run away and hide

That sounds disgusting but no need to run away and hide. Pick them up, use towel or picker-upper object if you don’t want to touch them directly, and put them outside.

I’ve always found listening to something through earphones is soothing but if you have a panic in the back of your mind that someone is coming into your house, that might not be a good option for you, but I would recommend leaving the tv/radio/whatever else on so you have a running commentary “distracting” you.

Come on, you’re (presumably) a grown up. Pull yourself together!

Not a wuss at all. I'm exactly the same. When is he going? Hopefully once the evenings are lighter which makes it easier.

Do you have a cat flap? We blocked ours up after getting fed up with live animals being brought in. Cat now has to wait to be let in and we can see if he's got anything in his mouth.

Consider cameras if you don't already have them. Fairly cheap to set up front and rear cameras that you can check on your phone.

Is you house really secure? Do you have secure rear access? Do a good sweep of everywhere checking locks, windows etc to help make you feel safer.

Any friends or family that might be able to stay over some of the time?

Maybe consider sleeping downstairs if you feel a bit worried upstairs.

Keep plenty of lights on if you need to.

Watch happy stuff on the tv. Definitely no spooky drama or movies.

@BritneyPeedOnALadybug I know, all completely irrational fears! Even growing up I was never at home on my own because there were so many of us, lived in uni halls, with flatmates for years, lived with a few boyfriends. I am indeed a grown woman, believe it or not!

@TweetUsOnFacebook oh it'll be like fort knox believe me. We have added security on the front door and I'll be sleeping with one eye open.

He goes next weekend. On top of all my scaredycatness, I just don't want him to go because I'll miss him! vom

I used to be much more like this but over the years have become accustomed to it and manage to not let the fear overcome me anymore, (mostly), as my husband is away quite a bit now.

What helped me most initially was having a bolt installed on the back of the bedroom door...when my children were little we all slept in our bed and I knew everyone was safe. Now that they are older I don't lock us all in to our room but I have got much better about being on my own with them at home..

I always used to have the landline phone and my mobile next to the bed and would take my keys upstairs and leave them with the front door key sticking out I could get out quickly if needs be. I had escape routes planned as well in case people were downstairs or there was a fire.

I have tinnitus so always have background noise on.

I wouldn't rule out taking something to help you sleep initially as the less sleep you have, the more anxious you are likely to get.

All the best. Lots of people won't understand where you are coming from but I really do!

Oh and I agree with the poster above, absolutely no murders before bed, just comedy or light drama and that goes for reading as well as TV.

@Kitty1184
I understand your fears but they are completely irrational and glad you see it too.

Put it this way: Unless someone has been sneakily stalking you and your partner and monitoring your house, it makes no difference whatsoever to whether your partner is there or not if a burglar, rapist or arsonist enters your home.

For extra security put one of the aggressive cats bed at the front door and one at the back. Any intruders will get scratched and bitten to death

@BritneyPeedOnALadybug I have one that could do that! the other 2 would be more interested in their shoelaces / snacks.

I can be very similar to this when home alone. I have a podcast playing out loud as I fall asleep or I move a tv into the bedroom. I also sleep with the landing light on.

I do the check of the locks at 6 or 7 rather than just before bed (feels less scary somehow).

Although, by the end of the week I am a lot more relaxed. I think once you’ve got two or three nights done you will relax a bit more