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Original poster

Dd struggling with puberty/changing body

14 replies

PinkGinAndTacos · 10/02/2020 10:23

My dd is 11. She has some mh issues going on atm and isn't going to school, although we are working on it and she has started seeing a therapist and we are getting her in sometimes on a reduced time table.
Shes been quite vocal recently that she doesnt like having boobs or growing hair in new places. I've tried to explain that it's all normal and exciting because she is growing up but I dont think this has helped.
Last night whilst she was in the bath she took a razor and shaved her pubic hair off. I'm really worried as this just doesnt seem normal.
Any advice?

OP posts:

lilmisstoldyouso · 10/02/2020 10:58

Wouldn't worry too much. It's a huge change to go from no boobs to boobs, in six months.

As for the hair. I shaved mine at that age and never let it grow since. TBH it's "normal" now, can't remember the last time I was in a changing room and saw a a hairy muff, everybody under the age of 50 bald as an egg!

Just make sure she knows you are there if she needs to talk.

Good luck.

Original poster

PinkGinAndTacos · 10/02/2020 18:41

I guess it a difference perspective. I was excited about growing up. She seems petrified at times!

OP posts:

Beamur · 10/02/2020 18:50

How worrying for you.
Good that you are getting some support. Your DD sounds very vulnerable right now.

LemonBreeland · 10/02/2020 18:53

Obviously you are worried as your DD has mental health issues anyway, but I would be reassured that it is quite common for girls to struggle with the changes in their bodies.

Original poster

PinkGinAndTacos · 10/02/2020 18:54

Shes not in a good place. Getting help.is near impossible....I despair at home bad she has to get before she gets proper help. I am paying for the therapy privately which is crippling financially but I'd rather be in debt and have a child that happy than continue down this rd we are on.

OP posts:

SpockPaperScissorsLizardRock · 10/02/2020 18:56

It's a thing in girls with Autism, could that be a possibility? Also the mental health issues could be due to that.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/02/2020 18:59

Maybe instead of approaching it with excitement, acknowledge her anxieties and try and see it from her side.

Original poster

PinkGinAndTacos · 10/02/2020 21:45

spock possibly. Something quite drastic is going on inside her head. She cabt cope with anything. Shes withdrawn from friends and social interaction. Shes overwhelmed by crowds. Doesnt want to leave the house. Shes not herself at all. Hoping I can get her into school for a few hours tomorrow.

OP posts:

56Marshmallow · 10/02/2020 23:39

I second the possible autism. Very often it's not noticed in girls until they get to age about 11/12.

Look up "signs of aspergers in bright young girls" by Tania a Marshall. See if that ticks boxes for your daughter from a few years ago.

sageandroses · 10/02/2020 23:42

I agree with the autism suggestion. I am autistic and was traumatised by the appearance of hair on my body.

KellyHall · 10/02/2020 23:44

I started getting that way after I had ill physical health and had to stay in for many months around 12/13. Once I was physically better, I was petrified of going out, going to school, doing anything really. I eventually got anti-depressants but it was a very difficult and confusing few years.

QueenOfPain · 10/02/2020 23:44

I also shaved my pubes off around a similar age. I grew them back though. I think I was just confused and experimenting.

dontgobaconmyheart · 10/02/2020 23:48

Poor girl OP that sounds so very tough . Ishe sounds like she had an awful lot going on- I wouldn't fuss too much with the hair- she's 11. We were all starting to shave when in was in secondary school and it's just experimenting, modelling adult behaviour and exploring our adult bodies, which is potentially a healthy thing.

What does your GP say about this? Her anxiety sounds very bad and if it's affecting her attendance at school and she is not wanting to leave the house it needs intervention.

TheHagOnTheHill · 11/02/2020 00:03

It's hard.my DD went through that stage,luckily she has older female cousins that she looks up to and she gradually accepted that she would be the same shape as them so that was ok.
She's not happy in crowds,had a lot of anxiety in school,not many friends.She can fix on things though so studied hard and got through GCSEs.
11/12 was hard though,self harming,suicidal thoughts,eating issues and panic attacks at school and after a long wait Chams,absolutely useless as she was coping!As a parent it is terrifying but you just have to be there(my DD doesn't like to be touched when upset and that is hard).
DD was referred at 13 for assessment for autism,we had the appointment before Christmas but will probably wait another long time for the report which were are sure will be positive but while explaining her difficulties socially will be a bit late practically.
Our GP was our lifeline.

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