Husband has let me down is this the finale straw?

[Honestwoman]

So my grandfather that I’m really close to has not been well for over a year. He fought lung cancer last year has kidney problems etc. He recently had an X-ray that shows a mass on his lungs. My mom called me at 10pm on Friday night to tell me my Grampa was terminal. I am away at work I won’t be home again for another week. I messaged my husband to say call my mom re update about Grampa I can’t talk right now. Then he messaged me saying I already know babe!!! Well that made me angry how could he not call me earlier to tell me? Saying things like ur mom wanted to tell u. He’s always told me before other important things so I tell him this. He told me it wasn’t his place to tell me! What kind of a marriage do I have? I feel so hurt right now we haven’t spoken in 2 days. I am already wondering where is my marriage going cause I’m already not happy and I keep thinking when is enough enough?

I'm sorry about your grandad.
It doesn't sound like your husband has done anything wrong this time. Your mom wanted to tell you and he respected that. If your mom has asked him not to tell you, and he did, you be annoyed at him for upsetting her and going against his word. I don't think he could win here.

However, it sounds like there's a backstory to this so maybe there's a reason you're justified in being angry that we don't know about.

He did what your mum asked, fair play to him. My family told my dh about my dad dying (I was abroad with work) so he could tell me. It was the right thing to do. Families have different ways of handling news. I don’t think he did anything wrong.

I also think your husband has not done anything wrong. I think your mum should have told you before telling your DH, but it's not something you can hold against at a time like this.

I would have done the same if I was your DH. If my MIL said her father had died but she wanted to tell my DH I would have respected her wishes. I think you're being very hard on your DH unless there's a massive back story.

You have the kind of marriage where your husband respects your mum needing to do this. I assume that he is your mum's dad, so it was important for her to share HER news with you. She needed to tell you, for her own reasons.

Your dh is a bit caught in the middle, but isn't a bad guy here!

Your daughter self harming is HIS news, as well as yours so yes, he was right to tell you that!