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Original poster

Please tell me I'm not being horrible

8 replies

Rebecca3127 · 09/02/2020 19:54

Hi guys.
Me and my partner have been together 3 years. I have had some health issues recently and I am being referred for scans as have been told cancer is a small possibility. This has terrified me so I have told my partner how I am feeling and what sorts of pains I have been getting etc. This is normal to share this stuff when you are worried with your SO isnt it? I feel like I have just stressed him and he is panicking, maybe I should have said nothing and gone for all tests first and had a diagnosis before I told him.
Was I right to tell him or am I being selfish?
Any opinions would be appreciated.
Many thanks.

OP posts:
BritneyPeedOnALadybug · 09/02/2020 20:06

This is not one of those right or wrong situations IMO. No, you weren’t being selfish or horrible to tell him. Might it have been less stress on him if you hadn’t? Perhaps. But you’re a person with legitimate emotions too and if you’re the type of person that needs to let these things out and not bottle them up, then that is your right and it’s a partner’s role to support their S.O in these types of things, IMO. I’m definitely a “bottler” myself so I wouldn’t do it but in no way do I think you’re selfish at all.

I hope everything works out okay. My advice would be don’t google anything about it. You will end up panicking yourself even more.

Original poster
Rebecca3127 · 09/02/2020 20:10

Thankyou, I just dont want him to worry now. Unfortunately i have already googled hence why I'm panicking so much 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
windymillersmill · 09/02/2020 20:13

Being a partner means supporting the other person, it's time for him to support you right now.

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BritneyPeedOnALadybug · 09/02/2020 20:21

Well, he is going to worry and there’s nothing that can be done about that now, until results come back. Btw If he didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t be stressed or panicking, it’s a completely normal reaction.

I would never advise not to share this stuff with your partner if you are stressed about it yourself. I would advise not to google anything in future about what you think you may have, it will always bring up the most serious cases and just make you feel worse and more scared.

Original poster
Rebecca3127 · 09/02/2020 20:22

Thankyou, he is definitely being supportive, I just feel crap because I know he is worried now aswell

OP posts:
Original poster
Rebecca3127 · 09/02/2020 20:23

That is very true, thankyou

OP posts:
Walnutwhipster · 09/02/2020 20:27

I'll tell DH what I'm facing in a very matter of fact way but won't tell him the worst case scenario. I have his support in everything I've been through but if I made him terrified he wouldn't be able to be there mentally and physically as much as he has been. I've had four major ops that I'd have died without, twice ending up on life support. Our young teen DD is facing OHS due to CHD. I need to understand every part of the risks and exactly what it entails. DH loves her no more or no less but doesn't want to know the minute details because he won't be able to show the strength he will need to get us all through it. You're not horrible, although it sounds like you're both now overly worried. Google will do that.

Original poster
Rebecca3127 · 09/02/2020 20:31

I agree in that we are both now overly worried. It could be 1 or 2 other things so need to just concentrate on that. Thankyou

OP posts:
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