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Do I or don't I return to work full time?

14 replies

Refreshed · 09/02/2020 15:21

After my maternity leave, I left my old job in London (commute too much), and changed jobs to something requiring a similar skill set but nowhere near as demanding and full on. The job I have now is also just 3 days a week.

I'm starting to think of returning to work more 'properly' and getting a similar role to what I'd have pre DS. I was more than happy to just go part time with a less stressful job because DS is quite literally my world and will forever be my only child. I lost my DD in October last year and we definitely feel done at one.

My reason for considering returning full time is DS adores his nursery. He can't wait to get there and always seem so disappointed when I come to collect him Sad he's clearly happier there.

Might it be better for me to just go back full time? Unfortunately, I can't take the role as part time here because they don't really exist but do in London... But I don't want to do the job in London just so I can go part time.

I suppose 4 days a week would be ideal but those jobs are few and far between.

Money would be better in a full time position. But we manage fine now. More money would be great though

OP posts:
PurpleCrazyHorse · 09/02/2020 15:34

I think I'd consider that the benefits of working part-time can really come into their own when your youngest goes to school. I found full-time working relatively straight forward when nursery runs 51 weeks a year, 8am-6pm! School holidays and wraparound care can be a pain plus it was nice for me to be able to do a school run on some days to touch base with the teacher, bring things in, grab PE kit or look for lost school uniform etc. Holiday clubs around me don't take under 5s all day either.

What I loved about part-time working when the kids were at school was getting home jobs done during the week so the weekend was ours.

I now work 5 days a week, term time mostly. I never do the drop off or pick up from the classroom and I rely on my 5yo remembering to pass things to his teacher etc. I don't know any of the other parents or kids in his class, nor see his displays etc. Housework is done on the weekends. My job was too good an opportunity to miss but I would have liked part-time.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 09/02/2020 15:36

I wouldn't do a big commute though. What's your part-time job like now?

mymadworld · 09/02/2020 15:41

I'm a childminder and have little ones who come bounding in, are an absolute joy to care for and yes, we sometimes have tears at home time. But please let me assure you that home with a loving parent is where they feel safest, happiest and most comfortable so please do make your work decision based on drop off or pick up as these are confusing times for a little one.

Interested in this thread?

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mymadworld · 09/02/2020 15:42

Please DON'T not do Wink

user1493413286 · 09/02/2020 15:45

I’ve found being full time with a toddler very difficult; I’m very organised and DD loves her childminder but I’m continually exhausted and weeknights are a haze of trying to spend time with DD and get everyone done for that day once she’s in bed before I fall asleep . Weekends are lovely and we had to do this for financial reasons but I wouldn’t have if I’d had the choice

Refreshed · 09/02/2020 15:49

It's not just drop off and pick up, he is genuinely happier there during the day. I get a vocal and online report of his day, and even pictures, and he just looks so happy and occupied. I'm sometimes a tad upset when he isn't excited to see me but never surprised since he gets up to do much stuff

OP posts:
RhubarbFizz · 09/02/2020 15:50

Sadly nurseries do not do phonics or reading etc - all of which I could do for dc1 when not at work. No idea how I am going to do that for my next child as 6pm is rather late to start The learning to read Tasks each night!

KittenVsBox · 09/02/2020 15:52

Another one saying it gets harder once they go to school - infact I worked FT until our second went to school, at which point I quit and became a SAHM with both kids at school because it was just one too many balls to juggle.

Refreshed · 09/02/2020 15:55

I must say I do feel sad that I wouldn't be picking him from school, and loads of kids will have their warm and loving mum there and he wouldn't have that Sad

I have very fond and cosy memories of my mum picking me up from school

OP posts:
MissClementine · 09/02/2020 15:59

From experience working full time was much easier when children were in nursery that is open all year round. Once at school it is very different and juggling holidays is really tough. I went part time at this point then stopped working altogether for a couple of years once second child started in reception. As pp has said you miss out on school stuff, meeting other mums, school run, being involved in aspects of school life and getting things done in the house is harder.

My children also didn’t enjoy holiday clubs, my eldest would cry so much i would have to leave work to collect.

I’m working again now part time and although career has gone in a different direction and I’m not as fulfilled at work, I do strike a good balance. Once youngest starts senior school I may reconsider.

However with one child things would probably be easier.

SoloMummy · 09/02/2020 16:17

I'm an advocate here for pt work too, even if it means a lower income.

It's so much easier to juggle school holidays, staff training days and the ever increasing days that there is a school event.

My heart breaks as its the same achildren who have no parents at school events and many of them at my Los school are one on one events, like reading extravaganza activity afternoon, Easter bonnet making afternoon, on top of the special assemblies, pta events etc.

Those first years in school are so important and they're the foundation of the education and a positive start is so crucial. Being there to assist with homework, talk about their day, have play dates at the park after school etc.

To me, that's worth way more than my fte salary.

Refreshed · 09/02/2020 17:47

It's nice to see Mumsnetters praising part time work. I thought I'd be bashed for things like pension contributions etc Grin

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 09/02/2020 17:53

Are you thinking of going back to full time where you currently work? Would they be open to some flexibility? Worth asking.
How long would it be till DS is in school? Would it be feasible to take something full time now and then negotiate for more flexibility when he goes to school, once you've shown your worth?

NothingIsWrong · 09/02/2020 17:59

Definitely part time is easier when they start school.

I worked 30 hours per week when they were in nursery, dropped to 20 when school started. Now my littlest is in Y2, we have decent holiday clubs sorted and I am back up to 30 hours. I will go full time once they have all left school - at the moment I am home 4 afternoons a week and it's really helpful when they are struggling and just need a chat and a cuddle...

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