Helping Mum (65) to feel less lonely. Advice and experiences?

[Frokni]

Hi guys,

Am looking for some advice and experience from those who have mums who are single/widowed and living alone. I know loneliness is part of living on ones own, esp as she was once a matriarch of a house and it all seems more quiet and organised when there's no one who "needs" you as they once did.

Me, DH, DD5 & DD2 live a 10 minute drive away and we see her 2/3 times a week for either a quick coffee as she passes us to go to town or a Sunday roast and anything in between. We live in villages which are 10 mins drive apart in Northamptonshire to those who are curious.

Mum is busy, she sees people and does things most days with friends or on iwn etc but still talks about being lonely. In no way does she mope or want pity but is defo in a place where she wants to find ways to feel less lonely.

I know a lot of you may suggest pets but as mum has a chronic illness which affects her joints she can't get a puppy. Won't get a rescue dog as she is just not great at raising dogs and doesn't want an indoor cat and doesn't want a litter tray.

Any stories and advice are welcome. As said above she has a good social schedule, drives and books events/theatre and sees us fairly often. Is feeling lonely just an inevitable thing which won't go away past a certain age?

How long has she been widowed? I think a lot of people feel lonely when they are used to having another person at home with them and it can take a while to adjust to being alone at home. Your DM keeps busy and has a good social life, but if it's living alone that gets her down and the long winter evenings sitting on her own then maybe she should consider some kind of communal living arrangement or getting a lodger.

@zafferana thanks for replying!. You are right about adjusting. Not drip feeding but just to add some extra info: mum has been widowed for 17 years but remarried impulsively afterwards which ended in divorce. She has lived with me and bro for years in London and when i left the city she lived with me, DH, DDs for 3.5 years before she got her own place in November. She has essentially not lived alone for a very long time. However, her feelings of loneliness are quite rooted. She felt lonely even when she lived with us as i feel a lot of it is to do with the role of matriarch.

I agree with your communal living idea. I think it's the way to go if in a few years there's no improvement.