9/11 and explaining children

[Stabbitha]

DD is 6. She was watching an old cartoon that is set in New York (Oliver and Company).

It opens with 5th Ave, She asks if it real street. I say it is. It shows more of New York, she asks if it is a real place. I say it is and that I would like to go one day.

Later it shows the twin towers. She asks if they are real skyscrapers and if we can go and see them. I say I need a wee and leave the room.

She's a very bright child. She's in year 1 at school but does maths and reading/writing with the year 2 and 3 children. She has brilliant comprehension.

I admit I panicked. What do I say if she ever asks again?

You could just say they aren't there any more if you don't want to give any more details.

They existed when the cartoon was made, but they aren't standing anymore.

I could.. but she's a child that asks an awful lot of questions.

I don't want to lie to her either.

What age do kids normally learn this sort of thing?

My eldest was 4 when it happened so saw the constant repeated news feed of them falling, her main issue was ‘oh not this, granny was watching this too’ as if meant her usual tv viewing was interrupted. We explained what was going on and she took very little on but then was obviously able to make the connections when she was older and they talked about it at school.

Tell her in simple language and she may make the connection with her cartoon in later years.

I realise I sound odd and morbid I'm just curious.

I remember learning about the holocaust aged around 9 on a family trip to Berlin and I wasn't scared but intrigued.

Well you can tell the truth and say some fanatics stole planes with people onboard and flew them at the Towers exploding in a fireball that killed lots of people straight away, and several thousand more when the buildings collapsed.

But, I think then you’re looking at a lot of questions about planes being stolen and crashed, explosions, skyscrapers falling a possibly religion and fanaticism.

Or you fudge it a bit and say that those particular buildings are no longer there, but an amazing new building exists in their place and point at all the other amazing buildings in the skyline.

Mine was the same age when it happened so saw it on the tv quite a bit. You couldn't avoid it obviously.
I think we owe it to them to tell them in an age appropriate way.
When they are older you can tell them about it being an inside job.

Oh yes, then you can throw in conspiracy theories too OP.

What age do kids normally learn this sort of thing?
I was an adult when it happened so it doesn't seem very long ago but there are adults now who weren't alive then or weren't old enough to have been aware. For a child it is ancient history. I was born 10 years after the end of WW2 so was closer to that than your DD is to 9/11 if you see what I mean. I can remember watching TV programmes about the war at that age, it troubled me but my parents talked to me about it. I suppose the difference was that they could tell me that we had won which isn't so straight forward with 9/11. I don't suppose that is very helpful but hope it gives some perspective.

'Some bad people crashed a plane into it and it isn't there any more.'

I think you can explain it to her at age 6 in a way that doesn't scare her too badly. As pp's have said, the truth often works in a matter of fact kind of way.

Thanks everyone. I didn't want to hide the truth of she asks again.

I don't believe the conspiracy theories, do other prone really believe them?

In your scenario I would just have said something like yes there are lots of sky scrapers in New York. If you were asked directly about 9/11 then that’s different but you were not.

I would simply tell a 6 year old they were not there anymore. Being bright and having good comprehension is not enough for a 6 year old to understand terrorism. You don't have to lie to her but to tell her it was deliberate isn't necessary.