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Original poster

DS's first day alone at nursery. Tell me it's going to be OK?

18 replies

thecatwiththesilveryfur · 04/02/2020 20:17

Tomorrow is the first time I'll be leaving DS (9 months) at nursery. He's had one settling in session with me there, and the carers were all incredibly kind and nice to him, but I just feel sick at the thought of leaving him. He's never been left with anyone but DH or my mum before. Please tell me he's going to be all right?

OP posts:

NeverGotMyPuppy · 04/02/2020 21:32

Honestly he will be fine. Inwas so nervous when I was in your shoes, I was sure I would resign after my first week back!

He will be fine, but its completely normal to feel the way you do x

frazzledasarock · 04/02/2020 21:35

My youngest had her first day at nursery on Monday.

I was so worried. We went and picked dc up early.

We found she was fast asleep as she’d skipped her afternoon nap and had later till she literally fell asleep mid play.

He’ll be fine, and very happy playing all day long.

Our nursery does sensory activities and the structured days really seem to help.

Mybobowler · 04/02/2020 21:37

Hand holds OP, I was in exactly the same boat three months ago - it was heart-wrenching. Try not to worry, he'll be absolutely fine and will settle in before you know it. My DD is 12 months old now and waves us off in the mornings, blowing kisses. Call the nursery to check in at lunchtime, and look forward to the cuddles when he gets home. You can do this!

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Original poster

thecatwiththesilveryfur · 05/02/2020 06:31

Thank you all. How long does it tend to take them to settle in? Today is just two hours, then tomorrow five. I just don't want him to be lonely or to be confused about where I and his dad have gone.

OP posts:

user1493413286 · 05/02/2020 06:34

He will be fine; my DD was fine. The one who suffered the most was me. Even when she would get upset when I dropped her off I’d get a photo within 5 minutes of her happily playing

HopeYouStepOnALego · 05/02/2020 06:44

My DD has just turned 21 but I can clearly recall the day I first left her at nursery. She had previously only ever stayed with me, DH or my DM. I sat in my car in the car park after drop off and cried my eyes out. She meanwhile was absolutely fine and nursery gave me photos showing her happily playing with toys there. I do think it's worse for the parents most times.

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 05/02/2020 06:49

Definitely worse for us parents than the babies - I was petrified of leaving my DS when he was 10 months. He'd only ever been with me, my Mum or his dad and I was convinced he would hate it and cry the entire time.

On the contrary - the girls said he was the easiest, most chilled out baby they'd ever had he's not like that now mind you, but I do recall those days very vividly.

If it puts your mind at rest, give them a call half way through - I always used to, and made me feel tonnes better.

PirateWeasel · 05/02/2020 07:05

Same. I was dreading it, but DS loves it now! It took about a month for him to properly settle in and know all the staff, and that was doing three days a week.

MotherAughra · 05/02/2020 07:12

I do think it's much harder for us, I hated leaving DD and I did cry in the car when I dropped her off for that first session

The nursery has always been fantastic and within a few weeks DD was very settled, she's been happily going to them and is excited to go to nursery now, and sometimes on the odd occasion I've been able to pick her up early she's not wanted to leave!

vroc81 · 05/02/2020 07:20

On the other side of it now and I’m sad that our nursery days are coming to an end when she starts school this year because she’s loved it so much.

They rung at 10am in her first day to let me know she was settled and I remember finally being able to start doing some work...!

CeibaTree · 05/02/2020 07:25

I thought there was no way my son would every settle in judging from how upset he was the first time we left him at nursery, however within about three weeks he was happily settled and now loves going and chats about the staff and his little friends when he is at home. I think if he went full time (he goes for half the week) he probably would have settled in less than 3 weeks though. I honestly think it is more stressful for us than for our children!

Original poster

thecatwiththesilveryfur · 05/02/2020 07:32

Thank you all for such kind and supportive messages I think I'll definitely be that one sitting in the car park sobbing my eyes out this morning!

Is it best just to drop and go, or should I stay with him a little so that he can settle in today? He was really upset yesterday, even though I was there, which has thrown me a little as he's usually such a happy little person.

OP posts:

Waffle12 · 05/02/2020 08:06

It is so hard leaving the little ones at nursery to begin with. Like other pps have said its definately worse for the parents.

I would personally not hang around. I would say make sure he sees you leave though (as he needs to get used to it, and used to also knowing that you will come back), and big hugs, kisses and smiles just before you leave. He may well cry when you leave but that it totally normal. The staff will distract him and give him lots of cuddles. And dont hesitate to give them a call to see how he is.

He will be fine. It's normal for you to ball your eyes out in the car after. Be strong-you can do it.xxx

84claire84 · 05/02/2020 08:12

I found with my others it's best to drop and go. My daughter use to cry occasionally until she saw me drive out the car park and was absolutely fine, pulling on heart strings. They really do get use to it and have such fun. Plus it's good for you to get some adult company.

I'm on number 3 now and all have been through nursery and have enjoyed it. My sons teacher says she can tell instantly which child has been in a nursery before they come to her, she said they are so much more sociable and easier to settle at school.

You can do this. Think of them amazing cuddles at collection time

katmarie · 05/02/2020 08:27

My ds has been in nursery since he was 1, and it was heartbreaking the first time I left him there. He had a whale of a time though, the staff told me he was fine whenever I phoned, and has absolutely thrived there since. Be prepared though, hes been through phases of happily being dropped off, and phases of clinging on like a limpet. It's not been a case of once he settles in that's it, every drop off is fine. They lull you into a false sense of security I think! His current phase is not wanting to leave at pickup time though, so I'm pretty sure he likes it there!

YouJustDoYou · 05/02/2020 09:16

Hi op, I'm a nursery worker - I promise you, your little one will be so well taken care of and looked after, it's so hard for you to leave him but it's much better to drop him off and leave swiftly (and have a little cry if you need after! I cried so much the first time I left all three of mine!)

Original poster

thecatwiththesilveryfur · 05/02/2020 09:46

I left him. He cried before I'd even left. 😭

YouJustDoYou, in your experience, how long is he likely to be distressed for before they're able to distract him or calm him down?

OP posts:

frazzledasarock · 05/02/2020 14:13

My eldest used to cry when we left her. And she’d cry when we went to pick her up.

DP used to watch her before going into the room at pick up time and she’d be happily playing.

Eldest loves it now, she’s 2, she’s a bit jealous her baby sibling is also going nursery. It’s her nursery school. 😆

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