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Work anxiety hand hold

5 replies

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 04/02/2020 17:47

So back story is that I was a teacher - teaching upper primary- before I had kids. Has been doing the job for almost 20yrs. Came to motherhood a bit older but had three kids in five years. Anyway, once I’d done having children and went back properly (part time) it became clear that it wasn’t compatible with family life. I also had some health issues which meant that I gave the job up a couple of years ago now because for various reasons it didn’t fit family life and it was making me very anxious. Had 18months of not working at all which I did love because I was with the kids but around 8 months ago I took the opportunity to go into a job in local governance, involved in education, very part time.

This in theory works well for me and my family. I’m office based most of the time so my health is better for not being on my feet. It’s term time only so get the holidays and it’s in an area I know well having been a teacher so long.

And yet I’m still and increasingly very nervous and anxious about the job. I don’t think it helps that my manager is nice but pernickety and a bit prone to micromanaging and that the more scrutinised I feel the more I stumble and make silly mistakes. And I have made mistakes but it’s a very complicated area, incorporating law which i have no background in and everyone else on the team has been there minimum of four years, so it’s easy to feel like the idiot in the room I guess. But in my performance reviews it’s been mostly positive and at worst I’m performing bang in the middle of the scale (A-E grades for each area, I’m a solid C!).

But the anxiety is really starting to affect me and it’s ridiculous because this was meant to be a solution for me to NOT have so much work pressure in my life.

I guess I’m writing this because I want to hear I’m not alone in this but also what the hell I can do to alleviate the anxiety. I’ve still got 20+yrs in the workplace, I’d like to not spend it crippled with fear all the time.

OP posts:
fuzzymoon · 04/02/2020 17:59

Hi. I can totally understand why you feel as you do.
I expect you get stuck thoughts about silly small errors or overthinking conversations.

It is crippling.

My advice to you is go to your GP and consider antidepressants for 6 months to help you regulate your feelings , to help you self regulate. Also once on them and the anxiety is lessening go for counselling.

I suffered with anxiety a few years ago. I tried counselling on its own. It didn't stop it. But I took AD for 6 months and paid for counselling after 2 months of taking them, it got rid of it and those couple of years of feeling awful are a very distant memory.

HoldMyLobster · 04/02/2020 18:03

For me antidepressants really help with anxiety, so I'd agree with the PP that they're worth a try.

I'd also see if you can find someone to be your coach for a while - either someone in the organisation or someone outside. Often it helps just to have someone to talk things through with to put them in perspective.

When I went back to work full time with three small children it was in a field I knew nothing about (insurance). For a long time I felt like the idiot in the room. But what helped was that I did have skills that other people didn't have, so I focused on learning fast, asking questions rather than struggling on my own, and working out where I could improve things with my skillset.

I now know a ridiculous amount about insurance, which is ironic as I no longer work there.

I have a friend in a similar situation who works with incredibly intelligent people - she said she gets through her days the same way, by remembering that she has skills that they don't have, and being aware of her value.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 05/02/2020 09:17

Thanks everyone- there’s some great advice here. I am trying mindfulness and relaxation but I’m a bit crap at it! Is there any AD in particular that’s good for anxiety and worth asking my doctor for?

OP posts:
HoldMyLobster · 05/02/2020 11:22

I found fluoxetine/Prozac good, but I think it's sometimes a case of trial and error. My anxiety did get worse for a couple of weeks before it got better, but then it got much better. The GP might have other suggestions.

fuzzymoon · 05/02/2020 19:39

Sertraline is commonly used for anxiety as well. But your GP will assess which one is best for you.

You'll have a horrid couple of weeks when you start taking AD then it suddenly gets so much better.
They may need tweaking but stick with it.

All the best.

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