What to do about witnesses?

[RedRed9]

Getting married soon and having a very, very small wedding: literally just us.

We obviously need two witnesses but for dramatic family reasons don’t want it to be any family members (long story but the simplified version is that it starts a ripple effect of other stressful family members being upset they weren’t asked). Also, our closest friends are away at the time.

I should add: the ceremony itself isn’t important to us. We’re doing it to be married, not to have a wedding.

What would you do?

I'm in Windsor-it's not you Beatrice is it?

I wouldn't mind being dragged off the street to witness a ceremony. It'd give me something to talk about.

I would just like to say that although the lovely couple we did this for took us out for brunch I didn’t expect it
It was slightly unusual in that they had their 4 dc there too and I had my 2, who were a similar age to the older 2 of theirs. We went to a child friendly cafe type place - they insisted, I wasn’t expecting anything so please don’t worry about that OP if you want to get a MNer to do it.

My parents (mixed marriage; 1950s) had one sympathetic sibling and a bloke off the street whose name has now gone down in family legend.
Best wishes