Is this too long for secondary school travel?

[mumofoneortwo]

Hi,

So we've already had an offer accepted on a house, which ticks most of the boxes and I thought I made my peace with one of the drawbacks, but I keep worrying I'm being unfair on DD.

Currently DD (13) walks to school and is there within 5 minutes and this, tbf, is the only advantage of where we live. Granted, it's a big one, but it's a soulless estate and we just had enough, so we decided to move to an area with a sense of community.

DD loves the house and the area. It's a quiet and seemingly friendly village and she says she feels happy and relaxed there.

I should point out that my DD has some social issues and is quite an immature 13 year old in some ways. In others, she is very mature. I think we know that she is somewhere on the spectrum, but because she seems to have come into her own since starting secondary school (not expected at all!) and because she's not really needed any intervention at school, we have decided not to go down the assessment route at this stage.

There are no direct buses to the school, but there is one 2 minutes( if that) up the road, so I would need to take her to the next village every day. The bus journey should take about 30 minutes, which isn't a huge length of time, but DD seems very nervous and is worried about potential bullying. She hasn't experienced any at this school, but she has heard that it often goes on and she worries that she stands out as a bit different, so is worried that she will therefore be a target. I have obviously tried to reassure her. She hasn't said she won't do it, just that she'd rather not. Obviously she'll need to be up a little earlier, but tbh, if she just sped up and didn't lounge around for an hour , she wouldn't need to get up that much earlier.

Worst case scenario is that it doesn't work out and I have to drive her all the way, which would take me about 20-25 minutes. Not ideal, but I don't work (study at home) so I can certainly do it if necessary.

So what does anyone think?

TIA

Sounds OK to me.

None of the kids on my DDs bus ever speak to each other. All wear earphones and are plugged into their phones, all the time. No bullying ever.

I was bullied at school and had a much longer bus ride (just over an hour), but never had any problems on the bus. Most kids will just be listening to music and/or playing with their phones

Your dd is bound to prefer getting a lift off you every day if she thinks that’s an option! So take it out of the equation and tell her you really need to be cracking on with work or whatever and she needs to give the bus a go.

Getting the school bus has been the making of my dc’s! They know they have to be up and out of the house to catch it on time which has been great for them in terms of getting organised in the mornings (their dad gives them a lift to the bus stop which is 10 mins walk away so they know they will have to walk if not ready when he leaves at 7.30.) - and we are strict about this.They also seem to quite enjoy the “bus banter”! They makes friends from all the other year groups on the bus. Also with regards to bullying - my kids buses have a camera so maybe check that.

My dc’s journey is around 45 mins.

Can you practice the route with her outside of school hours so she's familiar with it?

Can your school tell you who else goes on the same bus so she has a bus buddy? My child has autism and won't get the bus alone but travelling with other kids in his year is something he's able to do

Thanks for the replies so far.

I am probably over thinking it, but I suppose because of DDs social issues and the fact that she had it so easy getting there so far, that's why I'm concerned.

Although she doesn't need routine, she does like it and she certainly likes to know what's going on....in great detail at times. I suppose I'm concerned this is all going to be such a change and that this might be a lot for her to handle all at once.

That said, @ShesGotBetteDavisEyes, you're right, if me giving her a lift is put down as an option, then of course she'll take it! This is exactly what DP said, but then I think I was trying desperately to reassure her that if it did all go tits up, there is another option.

Really glad to hear that CCTV can be used these days. I'll definitely look into that.

As far as bus buddies go, it's like getting blood from a stone trying to find out any kind of travel information from the school!

I appreciate you don't want to go down the assessment route but you could throw yourself in the mercy of the SENCO and ask for help. Well, depends on your SENCO I guess

I wouldn't worry too much - although in your situation I would probably agree to give a lift at least to start with. I know quite a few parents round here (rural, 45 min bus ride to school), that are still giving their Year 7s lifts every day, and that is for kids that have grown up in the village and know the area. For one thing, many of them don't want to be standing at lonely bus stops in the dark.

Around here, the bus is a social thing in that they all know who goes on the bus - it's definitely a "club" - but when they're actually on the thing they all just sit separately and listen to music/watch videos. Once your DD knows who is in the village and who is getting the bus she may be more comfortable with it. You could even drive the bus route one morning and then you can see who is waiting where. In our village, the parents know who gets on where and if there are any issues (eg. bus doesn't turn up), we organise lifts between us. Good luck.

Perfectly fine, my dd takes two buses it takes her about 45/50 minutes.

Where I live, there isn't a secondary school that takes less than half an hour by bus, so that seems normal to me. I appreciate it probably seems like a big problem if it is a change though, especially to a child who is used to a particular routine.
One thing to bear in mind is that there are perhaps other pupils in the village that she doesn't even know yet. Once she gets to know them more, it might seem less daunting. She may even actively want to go with them.
I would try to get her involved in village life as soon as you move. With a bit of luck she will find someone she hits it off with who will help her feel more secure on the journey. You might also end up with someone who is glad to share the bus stop drop off/pick up.

I would be over the moon if she made friends in the village, but she finds it difficult to make friends and actually, I think most kids in this village go to another school.

She has a handful of friends, but they're all dotted around in different areas, so we couldn't really factor that in too much iyswim.