Would social services be involved with this?

[gingerbreadslice]

Hi I'm really worried that they will get involved due to my DDs behaviour she is 4 and since starting reception in September the school have said she's impulsive and can do naughty things and want an assessment done for ADHD,
She doesn't behave like this at home, out and about, or at peoples houses it's just at school and it's not every day it may be one day a fortnight.

She never has a reason why she does the things she does like tipping paint out or taking someone's pen when they are writing. She's a very loving funny little girl who seems happy all the time.

I just can't work out why she's doing it and I'm scared that the school will involve social services and think somethings wrong at home for her to be doing it. She currently has Elsa lessons and goes to a friendship club once a week at lunchtime and gets on well there and enjoys it.

I have one other child and he's really good she is also she just doesn't think before she does things.

She was given a behaviour chart at school and was being starred on it daily for the things they said was making them think maybe ADHD which was confusing as one minute they say she doesn't sit and listen and then for the next two weeks she does and they have no complaints and then it's back to thinking ADHD.

I don't even know why I'm worrying I do have anxiety so maybe why but I'm just scared they'll think I'm a shit parent and take them away from me. Her home life is great she is a bit to spoiled which we are working on but everything else fine.

It's really not a social services matter

Are you afraid the school will report you to them because your child is a bit naughty?

Trust me, it doesn't meet SS criteria

I am a social worker and from what you have said I can see no reason for SS to be involved with you. The school are doing what they think is required in getting an ADHD assessment and putting in place support for her. Please stop worrying about it and concentrate on your DD and supporting her.

Sorry thank you for replying it's just I was speaking to my mum about it and she said today well if she keeps doing it they might think what's going on at home to cause her to behave like it and it threw me because I hadn't thought anything like this before.
Feel like a plum now

No, don't worry, this wouldn't meet the criteria for Social Services intervention. Hope you get some support to manage things - keep asking the school what path they/you need to go down to manage the situation.

Thank you @Lightsabre They have given me a form for a neuro development thing for CAMHS not sure when she will have that done but hopefully it will help.
She seems so happy all the time though even when she does something naughty I'll say why did you do that?
And she just says I don't know but I'm sorry though mum!

Sounds like she's note ready for school and not coping with it. Not adhd if she can be fine for weeks and in other situations. Can you take her out of school and try again in year one?

What are Elsa lessons?

Emotional literacy support. Normally a TA who is trained by the educational psychology service to offer more support when children are struggling.

You need to go to your gp about your anxiety.

Your reaction is totally disproportionate to the situation.

Her behaviour is normal for a 4 year old.

This isn’t what social services are for.

Aaah you have a mum like that? well that explains it my mom was forever saying I would have social services involved because my kids had bruises I had cats and my house isnt immaculate I had social services involved because my ex was arrested they said my house was clean tidy the kids were not being physically harmed etc etc they had zero problems with me and mine just him staying away 🤷‍♀️

Social services wouldn’t be interested in this and I think your worry is a bit disproportionate.

However school haven’t helped by throwing diagnostic labels at a 4 year old. There could be a million and one explanations for your DD’s behaviour.

For ADHD to be present there needs to be symptoms in more than one environment (usually home and school for children). It doesn’t sound like this is the case.

Sounds more like she may be a bit immature and not ready for school. Hardly a crime. I wouldn't rush with the ADHD assessment, she's a little young for that diagnosis.

If this is just occasional naughtiness and she is fine 99.9% of the time, why do you want a diagnosis?

Don’t worry it wouldn’t be a social services issue. If she’s not like it every day or at home it also seems unlikely its ADHD. Might be worth keeping a bit of a diary of what’s going on at home and school to see if anything triggers these days

It's a strange reaction that you think the school would involve social services for a behaviour or health diagnosis. They may bring in experts to deal with any assessment at some point if things didnt settle.

Have you and the teacher had conversations to maybe keep a note of what happens at home and school to see if you can identify triggers or have you chatted to your DD generally about school and friends and so on?

More than likely your little one is just a bit naughty from time to time!

Social services would only be involved if there is neglect or parents not coping ( which there isn't) or possibly suggested if there is significant disability and potentially support could be given ( which there isn't).

She might just be a bit immature or there may be something underlying, no need to worry about SS either way.

If the school have concerns, and bear in mind they see a hell of a lot of 4yo, I would absolutely follow their lead.

It might not be ADHD, it might be something else, or nothing at all, but the fact the school want to investigate is a good thing. It may lead to more support for your daughter.

Sounds like they are doing a lot to help already which is also good.

If it was ADHD do you really think it would not be an everyday thing? Kids with ADD or anything similar can't just control it for weeks on end. And tipping paint and taking a pen is hardly the crime Of the century. You are being very OTT, and maybe need to talk to a doctor about your own mental health x

With respect - I think it’s the school they are being OTT!

I'm from a different country but I think sending four year olds to school and expecting them to sit still for structured lessons is balmy. It's not you OP, it's not your DD, it's the SYSTEM

Guineapigbridge spot on. Too much is expected of children too young. I wish they didn't start school until 6 years old like in some other countries.

Hi just to clarify I haven't asked for the ADHD assement at all the school is demanding one and saying she's showing signs of it which i think is crap as she's not like this anywhere else .
And I know my anxiety was over the top but when you have your own mum and grandma saying stuff it does sort of freak me out as although I have kids she is the first to go to school and it s all new to me.
There was a bit of bullying going on at the start so I'm wondering if it's more to do with that than her having a disorder.

And I have said to the school I don't believe she has anything wrong with her and they have marked her referral down as a "moderate risk" for ADHD. It is all a bit over the top she went to nursery from the age of 2 till she started primary school and coped their fine and it was quite large and they have no concerns either as my son goes there now so I've told them about it.
Just hoping she doesn't have it as I don't want her to struggle with it later in life but I think she'll be fine!.
And sorry again for the overreaction just really threw me when they said it as I hadn't thought nothing of that at all, most kids play up from time to time which to me it seems like she does but still was a horrible thought.

I’m sorry your mums given you a fright like that. This is exactly the kind of thing both my parents would say. I’ve just been fortunate enough to call them out on it. But I know how unsettling it can be.