Should I see a doctor?

[Foldinthecheese]

I’m 37 and I have three children: four-year-old twins and a 13-month-old. I work part time and my husband does a lot in the house but also works a lot and often has to go abroad for work.

Basically, everything feels like a huge effort. I’m constantly tired, even though the baby is sleeping much better, and I struggle to just get on with things. I’m unmotivated at work and, although I’m absolutely desperate to lose weight, I can’t seem to sustain any kind of diet or exercise programme. Obviously I cook healthy meals to eat as a family, but then I eat chocolate in the evenings or rubbish throughout the day on my days off, just to keep me going. As a family we are very active at the weekend and I can undertake physically demanding activities without a problem (walking several miles in the Peak District while carrying the baby, for example), but I’m not at all toned and I’m just so unhappy with my body.

I’m still breastfeeding, although she has cut down in the past few weeks since her sleep improved.

I just feel like I’m walking through treacle. Everything is a massive effort and I can’t lose weight or even get things done around the house as I’d like to because it’s all so hard.

Is it worth seeing a doctor, or will they basically tell me I just need to try harder?

It may be worth having some routine blood tests for iron levels/thyroid but it sounds like you just have a lot on your plate!

Yes, I wondered if that’s what a doctor would say.

Doctors are not that helpful with issues that arise in mothers with children imo.
They will probably do bloods and be very dismissive.
Have you tried high fat low carb/ weightlifting combo? Life changer!
(Obvs not if you’re actually ill, so get a check and then if your bloods are good, try this)
Good luck !

I’d also say to get blood tests. Ask for a print out of the results and check them yourself. My doctor told me I was fine but my B12 and iron was only just in acceptable levels.

Hey :).

I had similar symptoms to you a couple of years back, and iron changed my life. I am noticing them creeping back, which makes me think I might need to start taking supplements again. But it is always worth getting a blood test. There's no point being constantly knackered if there's something you could do about it!

Okay, it might be worth asking, then. I did wonder about iron, but my iron levels have always been really good, even during pregnancy. I wondered if maybe it was just a winter slump, but I feel like something has to change.

@Thetellyisjelly, I’ve done low carb/high fat in the past with good results, but that’s exactly the kind of thing I can’t seem to sustain right now, even though I want to. It feels like all the practical family meals that I can batch cook involve pasta or potatoes, and I’m trying to cater for people who all have different tastes and preferences. I did join a gym last year, but then my husband was working away so much that I couldn’t go because there wasn’t anyone else to look after the children. I’ve cancelled the membership now.

@foldinthecheese I empathise.
I had similar issues with various kids coming in at various hours. I remedied this by roasting lots of chickens, just stick in the oven when I’m at home, with various seasonings, keep in the fridge for myself!
I also simmered plenty of chicken soup from bones etc which did wonders for my hair and nails and general wellbeing.
I have a few activities I do with the kids, skating, trampolining etc. Sometimes costs a fortune though and isn’t at all restorative or peaceful. It burns calories but that’s it!

It sounds as if you have a lot on your plate and not much time to yourself. What's your childcare situation and how many days do you work?
Do you feel sad or low at all?

What would help?

Sounds daft but barring a health problem, what would make a difference to you if time/money were no object?

@FrancesFlute, the boys are in pre-school five days per week and they go to breakfast and after school clubs on the three days I work. The baby is in nursery on the days I work and home with me on the days off. Sometimes I can get home from work and have an hour before I collect them all, so I try to do a bit of exercise then, but often I need to do some cleaning, or I just collapse on the sofa. I don’t feel low, necessarily, but I’m not particularly happy at work and I am cross with myself for not being slimmer. I mean, a lot of people have a lot on their plate, and they still manage not to eat rubbish and exercise. It just feels like such a massive failing on my part, to still be so overweight 13 months after having my third.

@madroid, I would want a personal trainer who would train me three times a week, childcare for that time, and a meal plan which told me exactly what to eat and when so I wouldn’t have to think about it at all. I just want to be told what to do. I’m so tired of making decisions.