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Original poster

Elderly relative and their huge cash stash

39 replies

Greenvalleymama · 03/02/2020 12:20

Hoping someone can help? I've become aware recently that an elderly relative has been stashing money at home for years- they estimate it to be around £40-50k and are very reluctant to bank it. Most of it is in paper £20 notes which will soon become obsolete, stored in plastic containers in various locations in the house and garage.
From what I can gather the money is from 20+ years of saved pension as they collect it from the Post Office and don't get out to spend very much.
I'm really worried that it could be stolen or damaged, but also worried that questions could be asked if it was banked in one go and concerned about the relatives reluctance to bank it. The relative has no partner or children, and is rather isolated. They are in robust health at the moment but are 80+ and their Mum and brother both developed Dementia in their later years.Looking for some advice on how I can help without causing upset to my relative but obviously helping to secure what is a huge amount of money? Honestly I have no idea what I should do (if anything!)

OP posts:
magimedi · 03/02/2020 12:40

I am not being the thread police but you might also like to post this in the elderly parents section:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/elderly_parents

It is a pretty active section & lots of help & advice available from people who have similar problems.

Good Luck!!

adviceneededon · 03/02/2020 12:43

My grandparents do this, so they're not alone. I pick up fish and chips for them on a Saturday and I can hear them pulling up carpet when they bring me the cash. When they moved into a bungalow last year, we had to smash lots of jars of nuts and bolts to find rolls of cash inside. My kids loved it! We've all tried to talk to them about it, but they're adamant they don't want the tax man to get it. If they were seen to be moving it to a family members account, it would be classed as laundering so they can't do that. So we just leave them to it. Their plan is that we have to find it all when they pass and then share it out between us.

Purplewithred · 03/02/2020 12:46

Can you get power of attorney In place, so if your relative does develop dementia the cash can be banked? do They understand that the notes will stop being legal tender and need to be changed?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dementia & alzheimer's General money
ChibiTotoro · 03/02/2020 12:52

Have you tried speaking to an agency such as Age UK? They may be able to offer some advice on how to handle situations such as these.
Unfortunately there are some unscrupulous people in this world who target the vulnerable and elderly because they know they do stash large sums of cash in their homes, so I think you are right to be concerned.

cptartapp · 03/02/2020 12:59

As a district nurse we had a patient that did this. He developed dementia, accidentally set fire to the house and the lot went up in smoke.

Whynosnowyet · 03/02/2020 13:03

Recent news article saw a family clear out a living relative's kitchen cupboards and bin 20k in gravy granules pots!! They enlisted tip workers and found it all!!

pauapaua · 03/02/2020 13:05

Do they have a bank account at all ? Would they see the manager who can advise them ?

Beautiful3 · 03/02/2020 13:18

My father did this too. I took it to the bank and put it in a spare account, in 5s (£5,000) at a time. Until it was all in. He knows when ever he wants it, i can get it for him. Best not to keep it in the home incase of a fire or burglary.

lljkk · 03/02/2020 13:26

Ask him what he's saving it for? Does he think it being in his house is best way to make sure that's how it's spent.

SantaIsReal · 03/02/2020 13:31

I work in finance particularly investments and one of our advisers went to see a client who had £70k+ stashed in her loft!
Its maybe worth speaking to a financial adviser that way h/she can make money off of it by investing it.

vickibee · 03/02/2020 13:35

My mum 86 does this. We encouraged her to bank it recently. My brother took her to natwest who said they see this all the time. She pur 10k in the account and stii has some back at the house for emergencies. Won't say how much.

Pinkbonbon · 03/02/2020 13:37

My gran did this too. Can't remember how my dad handled it...with some struggle I suspect lol.

GVmama · 03/02/2020 20:57

Thanks all, he thinks he is stopping the tax man having it. He has a house, investments, money in the bank. I don’t think he has any intention of spending it.
Would a bank allow him to bank the old 20s and take a smaller amount out ‘for a rainy day’? Maybe half of what he’s banked? We might be able to encourage him to do that, he does understand that the notes will be obsolete in the next year or two.
We are going to buy a safe and install it somewhere he can safely access it, as he has jewellery and other small valuables he should secure even if we manage to get him to bank the majority of his cash.

AhoyMrBeaver · 03/02/2020 21:07

Assuming he has a bank or building society account, it would be worth making an appointment with them to discuss the options for paying in that amount of cash.

Depending on how much tax he's paying on his income and how much his current investments are paying in interest, this additional deposit might not be liable for tax at all.

RL1976 · 28/05/2020 11:26

My dad is doing this the problem is the bank have let him draw out all this money, each week surely they should have picked up that this isn’t normal behaviour for him, anyway the problem is that the money is in £20 notes which are soon to be obsolete and we can’t get it back to the back to either change it to the new notes or Put it back into the bank. Especially with covid 19 at the minute with us all shielding. Can anyone give me any advice on this as he’s going to lose it all when the £20 notes become obsolete

BarbaraofSeville · 28/05/2020 11:35

The money will always be redeemable at the Bank of England and if it's a lot of money it will be worth making the trip, so that's not an issue.

I'd be more worry about fire or burglary to be honest, and yes, the bank should have picked up on unusual behaviour especially if your dad is elderly or otherwise vulnerable to scams and cons such as dodgy builders overcharging and forcing their victims to withdraw money from the bank.

You might be able to put a marker on your dad's account to not let him withdraw large amounts of cash without being accompanied by a relative? Look online at their vulnerable customers policy to see what is available. Does he have a debit card that he can use instead? Many places don't take cash at the moment, so it's worth him getting used to paying by card.

If there's no-one available who you trust to take the money to the bank, it will have to stay in the house, but it depends on how much you're talking about as to how big a risk it is.

thatsallineed · 28/05/2020 11:37

The notes become obsolete and can't be used for spending, but the banks will take them in for some considerable time afterwards.

Shinesweetfreedom · 28/05/2020 11:44

I read somewhere that notes stored take on a stale smell.
When you get the dodgy ones coming round asking if you want any jobs done,and pay them from this money they are aware it is from a stash in the house.This marks the house out for burglary

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 28/05/2020 11:46

No advice to offer, just to say the idea of keeping large amounts of cash in the home gives me the heebie jeebies. Fire and theft are such obvious risks.

Also, for those who are trying to avoid tax, is there any mileage in saying the NHS is paid for out of taxes - what do they think would happen if everybody tried to avoid paying tax? Although it might be more effective to point out that you have to leave a very large amount these days for inheritance tax to be due on your estate. Is the real issue not wanting to have to pay for care home fees?

mencken · 28/05/2020 12:01

no sympathy at all for tax-evaders. If he is living on just his state pension, he's probably below the tax personal allowance anyway.

stupid sod. One burglary or fire and that's it.

TimeWastingButFun · 28/05/2020 12:06

Oh my goodness! That's a lot. I thought we'd found a big haul when we found about £80 of old big £5 notes and £1 notes recently when we cleared out PIL house. We kept it as a memento rather than cashing it in. I agree with others, maybe coming from Age UK they might listen to the advice. Nationwide are particularly considerate to the elderly, maybe worth asking their advice too about best way to bank it.

anonacatchat · 28/05/2020 12:30

Friends grandad did this and when he passed and members of the family took books and what not they found hidden £20 notes in books and cassette tapes . They had to meticulously take the entire place to bits as money had been hidden in all sorts of nightmare places . Ie £20 in the back of the battery slot for a tv remote , every book .

So please make sure you are incredibly thorough!

💐

anonacatchat · 28/05/2020 12:32

Also it isn't helpful to come here and say stupid sod .

LemonBreeland · 28/05/2020 13:07

Have you had the conversation about it becoming obsolete, can that not push the process to happen?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/05/2020 13:10

People with dementia often hide things in extraordinary places - and then of course forget having done it, so do please be aware, anyone in the position of having to clear a home because of death or moving to a care home.

You need to check absolutely everything that could possibly serve as a container - all pockets, old shoes and handbags, cornflakes packets, the insides of all books and magazines, as well as the more obvious under the mattress/down the side of armchairs/sofas/under the carpet.
And any bins, before contents are thrown away!

A sister and BiL once found a valuable ring wrapped in dirty underwear and chucked in the bin - the aunt was insisting that someone had stolen it. Sheer chance that they happened to be visiting at the time.