Your practical tips for surviving an extended family holiday

[Northernlass99]

Its booked and paid for now, and its a present for my mums 80th, so don't tell me not to go or what a bad idea it is!
Gite in south of france, 14 members of my family including elderly parents and teenagers. Everyone gets on but some adults are renowned faffers!

Any practical tips appreciated, particularly for dealing with the food situation. If you have done this what would you recommend?

Rota for making dinners and washing up, stock up on whatever your poison is, take a few hours a day out by yourself. Too much time together in one space and someone will get murdered.

I’ve done a couple of these. Those are my tips.

Yeah worried about there being a small murder at some point!
Rota for dinners is good. What did you do about shopping?

Too late for your trip but book separate accommodation. My parents are joining us in a French campsite this summer but we have booked a chalet and they have their own mobile home.

In the absence of that, make sure all adults get a break. Play to strengths eg if teenagers want lie ins, grandparents could make breakfast or go to the bakery. Everyone suggests meals they like before the Big Shop at the hypermarket. Have a few meals out so everyone gets a break. Let faffers get ready in their own time and meet you somewhere when they are ready.

Make sure everyone is agreed in advance that you'll be splitting off to do your own thing some of the time so no-one feels that they're being left out or that they have to go out with the group all the time.

Remember that it's the faffers holiday as well so if you like things planned and timed down to the minute, maybe compromise on more loose arrangements some of the time.

If some people want to eat at a fixed time every day, but other people want to come back whenever and grab something, make meals that will cope with being eaten at different times so you're not hanging around starving, or feeling like you have to rush back from a day out earlier than you'd like.

Agree to communicate with each other! So no-one's hanging around seething at 10am in the morning because they thought you were all going to the beach but everyone else is having a lie-in, and someone else goes off in a huff because you all swanned off to see some castle that they wanted to visit too and would have been happy to get up early for.

Great tips. I was thinking that we need to agree in the evening what is happening the next day so that no-one is fuming in the morning as you say. Although need to be flexible too.

Kitty for food and a massive supermarket shop right at the start. Big long list of needs and wants. Plenty of snacks.

Reading avidly, top tips so far!

We are doing this with my parents and brother for the first time this year for my mother's 70th. Bit nervous about spending a lot of time together but it's a huge villa and we have already booked a couple of excursions just as a family of 6....and have already made clear that we will eat out a few times etc

My parents are paying for it all and we all eat similar things so I think the food side of things will be fine.

Even easier than a kitty might be to agree to have a spreadsheet/names on receipts, though some poor soul will have to tot it up afterwards.

Kitty for meals but people buy their own special items. Bring their own alcohol if some aren't drinkers.
Kitty divided up by adults and children are half cost?

We used to do whole family holidays (until the ultimate fall out over food: elderly parents insisted they needed to eat at 6:30 while I, the cook that evening, was still unloading the car from the beach and getting kids showered, etc) prior to that, we took turns to cook each night and each family unit did their own things during the day unless others wanted to join them.

Having done a few of these, @sleepyhead's advice is spot on!

Communication especially is key..

You need to determine how to pay for the food and alcohol.

Are teenagers full price, for example?
If your SIL is shit faced on a full bottle of vodka every night for example, are you happy paying for it, if you yourself are teetotal?

Do not feel guilty /antisocial about opting out of certain activities : remember it's your holiday and if you need time out, take it.

I don't have much to add beyond what's already been said, but I did want to add that we did a holiday like this a couple of years ago and it was wonderful. I still look back on it fondly, and we'll probably do something similar again in the next couple of years.

It had its frustrating moments but they were far outweighed just by the pleasure of us all being together. Our family lives across several continents and it's rare we all get together outside of weddings and funerals.

Only plan to meet for diner as a group, everyone is free do to as they please during the day.

As above, rota for cooking and clearing up
Plan meals in advance to organise the shopping
Agree on a certain time for diners.

Feel free to organise "family days" together, but keep them optional.
Don't wait until the night before to suggest things.

Breakfast and lunch to be dealt with privately, BUT kitchen and everything to be kept clean.

Make a list of things you WANT to do (x days at beach, y day visiting something), and put to the group, so they are free to join or ignore.

Great suggestions thanks. Good to hear the positive stories.
Think we will have a per head kitty for food as the teenagers eat non stop. Then a separate kitty for wine and beer. Each family to do their own breakfast and lunch is good idea.