What are the consequences if I do this? Child access

[Changeembrace]

Hi,

Previously amicable relations with ex. So much so that when we divorced we didn’t draw up any formal contract re the children (finances absolutely).

So they are with him approximately 5 nights a month (over weekends). He also did three school drop offs.

He has said no longer doing school drops offs. This leaves me completely in the lurch but I’ll manage.

My issue is - I am a little concerned about his mental health. I can’t quite put my finger on it but I suspect very stressed at work and he seems... disconnected.

A very loving kind good father but over weekend, the withdrawing support re school picks ups etc - I feel as though something is up.

I have no concerns about how he would care and be with the children but... well, I suppose I just don’t want them to be with him until I feel more confident about the situation.

He will expect to have them this weekend as it is his weekend. What would happen if o just said no in the legal sense?

Many thanks

Why would you decline contact ‘entirely’ this weekend? It looks like ‘revenge’ for dropping school runs. Before you feel attacked, I am that mother who declined contact for four months. So I’m being a pragmatist here, not a critic. I promise.
Are you sure you’re not reacting to his dropping of the school runs? Did he give you ANY indication as to why he can no longer do them? Does this mean the kids are back with you on Sunday evening instead of Monday school pick-up?
You could and should just have a contact order drawn up through the family courts. Because once people start drawing their own lines in the sand, the mess and acrimony usually begins.

Just to add: Nothing will happen in the legal sense because there’s no order for contact in place. But if you start declining contact, he could apply to the family courts for a contact order (which will be draining and time consuming but it’s one way your ex can regain contact). Sorry to sound black and white, but I just wanted to answer that last question.

I have no concerns about how he would care and be with the children

I can't see why you would feel the need to stop him seeing his children this weekend if there are no concerns? It seems like your trying to get your own back for him dropping the school runs.

There are no concerns with his parenting, OP, so it would be wholly unreasonable and really quite nasty to stop contact.

Thank you for making me see sense in such clear terms.

Yes I suspect there is an undercurrent if anger on my part driving my question. Concern too though.

But as even if was mental health problem - this would do nothing to ease the situation, especially as no concerns re his actual parenting.

@TheVanguardSix May I ask on what grounds you stopped contact?