Does your school have a class WhatsApp? How does it work?

[drspouse]

DS (long story, I'll try and keep it short without dripfeeding) moved to a new school in September. His previous school has no Whatsapp groups and no parent FB groups.
It's a small school with little pupil movement. When I met the other parents in July they said we'd find it so friendly and he would settle in quickly. DS has SEN and I am fairly sure they knew this when he started (it's relatively obvious when you meet him and I told them we were looking for a smaller school as he couldn't cope in the previous school due to size).
This proved to be completely untrue but we discovered in Dec that parents had been complaining about him on Whatsapp, the first I'd known about the existence of the groups.
I know there is nothing I can do about this now, but my teacher friend (not local to me but experienced with SEN and very senior etc. etc.) says that it's unacceptable for parents NOT to invite new arrival parents onto the Whatsapp groups.
I didn't think there were groups nor would I have thought to ask about them; there's a Buy/Sell group on FB and questions about trips etc. are asked on there so I assumed that was all. At his previous school there wasn't even that but parents would occasionally ask "is tomorrow dress up day" or whatever on their OWN FB pages (or via message, I've done that) if they were FB friends with other parents.

I know I can do nothing about this now and it's all in the past but he will at some point be moving on to a new school and I don't want to be blindsided again.
Would your school (if you are a teacher) or your DCs' school use these and if so are there regulations? Does the school know about them, and if so, do they ask for all parents to be invited on them? Could I find out if they exist by asking school?
I naively assumed if there were any parent groups I'd be asked to participate, but it seems not.

I am so sorry that you have experienced this. I have ran my Nursery PTA and been class rep for many years. Unfortunately, I have seen some nasty, lazy vicious people to some of the niceness, generous giving people.

Can you check if there is a class representative since someone has admin rights to the WhatsApp group that can invite you? Our school is aware of these groups but do not get involved with the exception when degratory comments were published. We all now sign a social media policy which restricts any negative comments regarding school without discussing addressing the school etc.
In my younger DS's year, we make a policy to add all new parents and send a welcome note. It's mainly used for homework, events or games kits. I created the current group and then nominated the class rep as administrators/removed my admin rights. It is very transparent who can add/remove members but we all police each other.
Otherwise, do you know one or two parents well each to just ask them if you need to information? I am part of my class group but have 2 parents that I rather ask because of all the politics.

We don't know which school he will be going to and at the school he moved to in Sept I didn't know any parents (it turned out, I knew a couple in other years but not very well); it's not that likely I'll know any parents at whichever school he moves to, but I guess if I do I can ask, but I am not completely sure what options there are (e.g. if I ask if there's a WhatsApp group, it's possible there's also a secret FB group and they don't ask me to join that).

At DS old school (where DD still is) there are no class rep parents, no PTA etc. etc. So I wouldn't have known to ask. At the school he moved to in Sept there was a PTA but though we donated stuff when asked we were too snowed under (not least by having 2 DCs in different schools) to go to PTA things. I don't think there were class reps but again I wouldn't have known to ask.

At ours the school/teacher has nothing to do with them. Just set up by parents to keep track of important dates, homework, misplaced jumpers etc

If you are around at drop off/pick up just get talking to one of the other parents and ask about whether there is a group? That’s how any new pupils parents at ours have been added.

At our school we have them for every class, not linked to the school in any way but if there have been any gripes the school have put a note in the newsletter reminding parents that these are for sharing information not for slanging matches and to take any school issues up with the school and not the group.

Our primary has class reps and most classes have Whatapp groups as it's an easy way for the class reps to give out info. The class reps have a meeting in September with someone from SLT who tells them what their role covers and doesn't cover. Then all parents are given a 'what is your class Whatsapp for and not for' parentmail. All parents have to opt into/out of letting the class rep have their mobile numbers but the school encourage this as they use the class reps to give out info for snow days etc.

So a new parent would be joined, and the gossip about a child would not be allowed in Whatsapp. Someone once tried to comment about a teacher in one of our class groups and was slaughtered so they are fairly self policing. This was shortly before the Whatapp policy came in and may have prompted it.

I have DC at different schools. One has a class unofficial WhatsApp group, the other has a whole school unofficial Facebook group. Both of them are not connected to school in any way - there is no way of saying parents have to be invited to them.

I hope your sons next school is a happier experience.

If you are around at drop off/pick up just get talking to one of the other parents and ask about whether there is a group?

Do all schools use only Whatsapp though? No other social media?
It's just that I wouldn't have known to ask but I'm concerned that if I ask the wrong parent they will say "there's no Whatsapp group" but there may be another group that I wouldn't think to ask about.

This was the problem with the school he started in Sept - I didn't know to ask and nobody told me. For all I know there are also other groups I don't know about!

Ours is nothing to do with the school. It's set up by groups of parent that know each other. No obligation to be in them and no obligation to invite others.

Our infant and junior schools have year group Facebook groups that are set up and run by parents.
They don’t have all parents on and generally you just look for the group and ask to join.
They’re renamed every year to the new year group and everyone just rubs along fine.
I’ve been using them since my now year 9 ds started school.

Nothing to do with the school for us. I set up dd's class WhatsApp but made everyone on it an admin and no-one is in charge. We have added in new arrivals as we've gone along, whenever someone has a chance to mention it & grab a phone number. It's just an info thing.

Thanks neddle, these exist for other local schools so when I found the school buy/sell/discuss FB page I though I'd found all there was. But because nothing like this exists (AFAIK) at DS previous school I didn't think to ask!

Class (secret i.e. doesn't show up in searches) Facebook page. Nothing to do with the school but all parents/carers are invited to join by the class PTA rep. Used for reminders of important dates, to ask about missing jumpers/ PE kit and to organise class teacher gifts etc. Very good at ensuring that any families who aren't on Facebook get info passed on to them. Never used to talk about staff/parents/pupils in a gossipy way.

We have a Facebook and WhatsApp chat per year. Nothing to do with the school and always make sure newcomers are added.

How about rather than ask 'is there a WhatsApp group', ask 'are there any social media groups for parents to keep in touch'?

Also I noticed you said your son has SEN and you 'think' school knows about this. Surely you make sure they do?!

I meant I think the PARENTS knew about this when he first started.

It would be more obvious the more they knew him longer but I am fairly sure they would have guessed when they met him (or even before they met him, when I talked about why he was moving school).
So this would possibly explain why they did not add me to their group immediately. Nobody asked me to join, mentioned it existed or asked me for my number, but of course I didn't know it existed either so couldn't ask.

I disagree with those saying ‘there’s no obligation to ask others’ just because it isn’t an official group set up by the school. If there is a ‘class x WhatsApp group’ or ‘class x mums WhatsApp group’ then I think it’s a reasonable assumption that all parents / mums should be invited.

And it is completely unacceptable for people to use such groups to slag off staff, other parents or 100% not children. Our school has sent warnings about using class groups to complain about school matters and said such complaints should be directed to the school.

The ‘class groups’ are different in my opinion to a small group of friends who happen to have met through school. In those I’d expect a more free exchange of views but I’d still be shocked by comments about children.

Ah thanks for clarifying I was a bit confused. If the next school is high school at least you will all be new at the same time - my DD went to a whole class party v early in the 1st term of y7 and all the parents there decided a WhatsApp group would be good.

DD's primary didn't have either of these. Head very much frowned upon any social media being attributed to the school.
They had something called Class Dojo which allowed the school to send parents information and share information. You could also use it to email teachers.
I think WhatsApp is useful but obviously can be as easily used for bullying) exclusion by parents as well as kids
If her high school class has one, I'm not on it!

If the next school is high school at least you will all be new at the same time
No, the next school will be another primary school.
I thought when DS started primary school that I'd love to be on such groups to find out about social outings, but clearly my ambitions were way too high and I should have realised I needed to be on them to keep from being criticised behind my back.

I'm really sorry to hear you've been left out OP.

We have a facebook messenger group, but its absolutely nothing to do with the school and there are no school policies relating to it. Its just a group of mum friends who started it for our year group (it was an email group previously, but we've moved with the times, although not quite enough to have a whatsapp group!)

We always in invite a new parent to the group if possible (as in, if we see them in person, or if we can find them on fb) but you can't really police a private group.
Its a group of people who are friends and who have children in the same year. No-one has to include anyone else. Its horribly unkind to use a group in this way to bitch about other children/parents though. We are all nice so would never do so

It honestly depends on the class.

I’ve been in a class that used a FB group only (I only found out about the secret WhatsApp group much later - that was strictly invitation only for the popular mums). I’m sure there was plenty of bitching on there, not that I was privy to it obvs.

Now I’m in a class that uses a WhatsApp group. Mostly everyone is in there, except for those who prefer not to be and left.

Sadly I’m not surprised that you haven’t been invited and that they’ve been talking about your son.

How did you find out they've been talking about your son?

Our school supposedly has a Whatsapp group for each year group (the parents are asked if they want to join) but there are other, informal groups, such as a PTA group (if you go to meetings, they'll ask if you want to join) and just some parents that make their own group, but I haven't seen anything bitchy in any of them... We are also a small school - there may well be other groups I don't know about that are bitchy, but I am blissfully unaware!

How did you find out they've been talking about your son?
A message went out on ParentApp asking parents not to talk about individual pupils on the WhatsApp groups, and a colleague with children at the school filled me in.

I have been class rep and set up the WhatsApp groups for both of my children’s years. Ideally, the rep should ask the school secretary to forward you an email inviting you to join the WhatsApp group / email group etc or approach you directly.

When you join the next school, ask who the class rep is and approach them to be put on the group.

How useful a WhatsApp group is depends solely on the members. I am on one that is jolly and collegiate and one that got me down at one point but has now improved.

I am not sure all schools have class reps though.