Self care - what does it mean to you

[Itwasntme1]

I recently had an awful time with depression and anxiety and every medical professional I saw kept on advising self care.

I just had a chat with a friend about what this means to different people.

When you are really struggling with a troubled mind, massages and long walks and bubble baths are awful, just more space to think and worry. So for me it was anything that Switched off or distracted my thoughts. Binge watching netflix etc.

So, what does self care mean to you? What has worked.

To me so far (when the anxiety is biting) it has been Netflix, sugary sweets, fresh flowers, scented candles. And, at my counsellors advice, a kitten🤣. Internet shopping was a thing for a while, but hankfully got bored before I went bankrupt.

I love reading, walking, running and cycling but they don’t work when the anxiety kicks in and I worry about every little thing.

Computer games could work and I think i will try that. The sweet thing is reading, which I absolutely love. But I just can’t concentrate. Have bought dozens of books to try and capture my imagination.

Rhodes I had typed a response which I now see I doesn’t post. So sorry for your loss, it must be really tough trying to swipe with your own grief while taking care of your dad. 💐

Getting out of the house every day and getting enough sleep. My anxiety feeds on sleep deprivation which can become a vicious circle. I don't know if nytol is placebo but it certainly helps when I need it.

I have 3 Sundays in every 8 blocked out in my diary as ‘self care days’ - they fall when DP is on nights so I have them to myself - it stops me booking things for other people/making other commitments and forces me to use the time for myself. I clean/tidy/organise the flat, take the dog for an extra long walk somewhere further afield, spend time at the allotment, batch cook, that kind of thing. Stuff that makes my life easier/nicer day to day, and I feel a sense of achievement for getting done. It also means if I mostly have a lazy day, sofa/duvet day, whatever, it’s ok, because the day was designated for self care anyway! I usually end the day having a slightly extra special home cooked meal, in a nice clean and tidy front room, having a more indulgent bath/shower in a nice clean bathroom, and going to bed in clean PJs in clean sheets in a clean tidy bedroom, and the next days outfit etc already sorted.....it’s like a big reset button.

Day-to-day I have a lot of routines I stick to that help me to stay grounded, not get drawn into downward spirals etc. The self-care days allow me to lay the groundwork to keep on top of day-to-day routines.

I also have various ‘mindful activity’ things ready-to-go to reach for if anxiety is ruminating and I need to calm it but not in a frame of mind where I’m capable of relaxing in the bath etc. I have a craft projects, colouring, and Lego models to build . I literally have the craft projects in boxes with everything I need in one place to occupy myself for a few hours - like mental health first aid, put them together when I’m doing well, so when I’m not doing well it’s all ready for me without the need for lots of thinking.

Someone mentioned learning to relax - that’s definitely a thing! I used to be awful at taking baths. Got bored and antsy within minutes, intrusive thoughts clawing away at me. My therapist said I had to take 30 min baths and just find a way to stay in the tub. Podcasts & audiobooks helped! Now I actually can have a relaxing bath and enjoy it! Took a while though.

Swimming, an hour dedicated a night to a hot bubble bath, face and foot masks a couple times a week. Hair mask once a week xx

Watching personal attention type ASMR videos on youtube.
Running
Mumsnetting
Browsing ebay
Watching fave programmes
Facebook pages for various interests from authors to local history
Reading in bed

I call these my pockets of happiness ( there are more with my children, these are my self care ones)

If I could afford, massages and pedicures and manicures

Self care is something I'm trying to practise more and more each day. For me, it's doing things that are mindful, taking in the moment as it is and not occupying other thoughts.

I took up running last year and have gone from not being able to run 30 seconds to running my first 10km the other weekend! It helps me clear my mind and the I've started running with friends - 5km goes so quickly when I'm chatting with a pal!

My other big one is hot baths with candles and a good audio book! This usually follows on from a long dog walk.

Pinning this thread for other suggestions! Always looking for new ways to self care.