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Original poster

My Mam

53 replies

Vicbarbarkley · 01/02/2020 18:40

Hello,

I think my mam used to post here under the name of Toooldtobearsed.

She had cancer and was strufgling with booking a holiday?
I just wanted to let you know she died yesterday.

I cant believe I am saying that. She was the most amazing woman.

Hers was not a peaceful death, I am distraught for her, and trying to do what I can, so if you 'knew' her, she has gone.

OP posts:
elephantoverthehill · 01/02/2020 19:36
Flowers
Littlemeadow123 · 01/02/2020 19:41

So sorry for your loss. From what you've said about all the kids and animals she fostered, she must have been an amazing lady.

glitterbiscuits · 01/02/2020 19:43

ThanksThanks Very sorry for your loss ThanksThanks

Amiable · 01/02/2020 19:50

So very sorry for your loss. Sending you love and strength x

Original poster
Vicbarbarkley · 01/02/2020 19:52

Do you know, she was incredible.
When I was Fifteen I had a friend who was in a very bad place. My mam fostered her. She then fostered a sixteen year old, getting him a home and job, then went 'official', and went on to foster over thirty teenagers. Every single one of them ended up in a home, or place of their own, amd with a job to go to. She used to go from 6am until 10pm every day, sorting things out. We never wanted for anything. But she did, because everyspare penny she ever had went to kids or animals. My mam spent bugger all on herself.
I cant do what she did. I just do not have that drive. She was incredible.

Whenever we turned up at her house, within an hour, a full meal appeared. Just like that. There was always a bed, always food, always love. Never questions, nevef judgement.
She was only in her late fifties. How bloody unfair is that?

She had just been on a foreign holiday. The first she had had for years, because she spent her money on others, and it was a disaster. She was only home for a few days before died.

Sorry. I am rambling. Just cannot believe she has gone.

OP posts:
Whynosnowyet · 01/02/2020 19:57

She sounds amazing op...
Not many people can be so proud of their dm. The lives she changed seem immeasurable..
What an actual hero..

picklesdragonisawelshdragon · 01/02/2020 19:57

What a wonderful woman! I wish I had known her.
One day you will be able to remember all the joy without this sadness, but for now Thanks

incognitomum · 01/02/2020 20:02

She was an earth angel.

I lost my mam 2 years ago but she was old and it was her time. Your loss is so unfair. What an unselfish person you have lost. She sounds incredible. Much love to you ❤

DramaAlpaca · 01/02/2020 20:09

I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

I recognise your mam's username and the couple of threads she had recently about booking holidays.

She sounds fab, a very special person, and I'm sorry she's gone.

Original poster
Vicbarbarkley · 01/02/2020 20:20

She was amazing.

But she had secrets, some from long ago, involving her fater, and some from literally hours ( maybe days) before she died.
I so want to know gpher secrets, i guess I never will. The one from long ago was a gob smacker. The recent one made her sad.

Will never know I guess.

I miss her so much it hurts. She was my mam, but also my person.

OP posts:
Original poster
Vicbarbarkley · 01/02/2020 20:38

My mam booked a huge holiday home for us all to have a final fling in. Unfortuneatley she did not make it. But she had promised my daughter ( and others) that if she did not make it, she would come back as a ghost for the holiday. I knoe it sounds bad, but hinestly, she had them all giggling with the supposed antics she would get up to as a ghost. Many if them too crude to repeat here 😁 She knew exactly how to pitch it.

But, I am having to scrape my 4 year old off the floor at the moment. Her gran was her life.
She stayed with her from Friday to Sunday lunchtime every week. Always on the beach, mucking out rabbit hutches, or feeding the brood of animals, my daughter never had a brush put through her hair, was mucky from head to toe and ate far too many Jaffa Cakes.
My 4 year old can help make bread from scratch and can actually make, and butter, toast, cutting it into triangles, all because my mam trusted her to do it (I am still struggling with that)!
According to my daughter my mam will be wearing a purple dress, a red hat and saying 'woooo' when we go on holiday....

OP posts:
MrsJakeLovell · 01/02/2020 20:44

I'm so sorry for your loss. I recognise your Mam's username. She sounds like someone who was a real force of energy. Much love to you and your family.

theoriginalmadambee · 01/02/2020 21:01

I'm so sorry for your loss. I recognize your dm from a resent thread. Not sharing her secrets, I'm certain was because she was trying to protect you. I so hoped for her to get more time and peace 💐.

Rainallnight · 01/02/2020 21:03

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your Mam sounds amazing.

Silvercatowner · 01/02/2020 21:07

Your Mam sounds awesome, Vic. Big hugs and Flowers

UhKevin · 01/02/2020 21:08

She sounds like a true force, and a true loss now. I’m so sorry. Flowers

RitaTheBeater · 01/02/2020 21:14

She sounds like an amazing woman who has improved so many people's lives.

Sn0tnose · 01/02/2020 21:22

It’s a bloody awful disease.

Your mam sounds like someone to be incredibly proud of. A real force of nature 💐

NearLifeExperience · 01/02/2020 21:23

I remember your mum. I’m sorry to hear that she’s passed. She sounds like an amazing lady.

My sympathies and best wishes to you and your family.

Lailaha · 01/02/2020 21:27

Oh, I'm so sorry, OP - she was so determined to make your family trip: she was saying on here that she might have to haunt you all there Grin Her love for all of you shone through in her posts: I'm so sorry to hear that she has gone Flowers

GonnaBeMaayy · 01/02/2020 21:29

Oh petal. I’m so sorry. Your mam sounds like a wonderful lady. It’s too soon now, but you are your mams legacy. Remember her and love her.

yourestandingonmyneck · 02/02/2020 02:29

Oh I'm so, so sorry.

I am new to Mumsnet so I hadn't seen your mam but she sounds amazing and you obviously loved each other very much. Sounds like she and your daughter also had a beautiful relationship. I'm so sorry that it has been cut short for both of you.

I agree with you that is seems very, very unfair and I am so sorry. My heart hurt when you wrote about her secrets that you will now never know.

Do you have any siblings?

ThanksThanksThanksThanks

Weenurse · 02/02/2020 07:12

I also remember your Mam.
I loved how positive, yet realistic she was.
Promising to haunt the grandchildren did make me smile.
I hope your family get comfort from one another during your holiday, and it is filled with lots of stories about her and her quirks.
Take a rad hat so she is not the only one.💐

LapsedVeganAcademic · 02/02/2020 07:53

I am so sorry. Sending all my love.

Howmanysleepsnow · 02/02/2020 08:36

I remember your mam. She struck me as inspirational, the sort of person that I wish I could be. It sounds like she touched so many lives and was even more inspirational than I realised. Flowers for you and your dd

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