relationship seems abit more than normal

[Iphone90]

Hi,
I hope somebody can shed some light on my situation. The scenario is this:

You get up in the morning. You have 2 kids. Your up with them but your out the house at 0730 and home again at 1800ish monday to Friday. Weekends are spent with the kids doing stuff with them. Very odd occasion I go out elsewhere.

During that time I am giving the children and partner(was) all the love I can and I'm doing bits around the house in between it all as and when I see that it requires attention. My partner is constantly moody and does nothing but Complain at me about how much I don't do and that I'm lazy and selfish and a shit parent and shit partner. Sometimes wishing me dead.

There just never satisfied with my efforts and I'm made to feel guilty with sarcastic comments when the house has been cleaned or dinner is there made for me every night I get home even though I Tell them how grateful I am as it saves much time for me. They tell me that I don't have a clue how to run a house and cook and clean and do washing etc.

They work 2 days I am out for 55 60 hours a week. Providing for my family to make sure they live a nice life. Yet i am just awful in there eyes and dont exactly get much attention other than that.

No matter what I do they are always there pointing out the negatives of me and criticising all the things they know I hate about myself. Telling me how knowbody likes me and I have no friends, I'm fat, bald and my own family can't Stand me because I dont talk to some of them.

I choose who to have as a friend. I just don't talk to them every day. There's a difference. I have a son who I fought in court for access which I got as I am no threat, no criminal record and have been there throughout his life.

But he doesn't call often which is upsetting but they use it and tell me how it's no wonder he doesn't call you and he doesnt like me anyway and its not exactly nice to hear.

Personal things I've opened up to them about they have taken the piss out of me about them when angry or upset.

They are suffering with worrying and anxiety and gets stressed very quickly and Conversation isnt exactly great. I have taken myself off Facebook and stopped drinking a while back as It makes me to ill after. I have converted my garage I to a gym and I am questioned about the use of it if I'm in there a couple of nights a week.

Meanwhile if I'm in the living roon I'm getting zero conversation because there head is glued to there phone and I dont like watching TV every night either. Or at all unless it's a good series. So what exactly am I sat there for?

I feel they are so nasty towards me. But then then go on an on an on at me until I snap and then they make it about me shouting again. They make me second guess it all which is why I'm on here.

I have not been a saint over the years. I was discharged from the army as I have a long term back problem, something they take the piss about or I done bring up anymore as I'm making everything about me.

Since I retrained in to a new profession. I was diagnosed with adhd. I struggled to keep work. Which she doesn't let me forget. I did gamble money away 4 years ago now when leaving the army as I was in a dark place. I've dealt with it and I'm on top of all my bills and still saving. We had 2 kids since then.

I get bombarded with questions and the Ins and outs of every detail of things to fish out something that they my have a problem. With in it all. Probably the only time we talk. That is very stressful to deal with when they don't even welcome me home or ask how the days been before.
Kicking off at me for not shutting the gate or taking the bin out or slamming the door.

When I hear them walking into the room I get nervous about what the next problem is or what I haven't done properly. But I also treat the family on holidays, days out. Go park. Beach all the fun stuff aswell as trips away with just the 2 of us. But there even made stressful.

I'm not a bad person and everything I'm saying is not twisted and is 100% true. So now? Tell me What is going on and what relationship type would this be categorised in. And what the hell should I do. :(

[FernBritanica]

That's really sad to read . Honestly it sounds like you just don't like each other much anymore, and maybe you would be better off apart... Before it comes to that though would you consider relationship counseling? She is obviously miserable too for some reason but neither of you seem to really understand it empathise with the other.. maybe some counseling could help that, or if not at least it would become clear that you're better off apart.

[FernBritanica]

Understand or empathise

[sprite25]

Life is short, why stay in such a miserable situation? Your 2 kids will be well aware of the tension and atmosphere, surely you all deserve to be happier apart then miserable together. Easier said then done I know but I know someone who is going through similar but at a later stage in life and they wish they had just got it over with a long time ago so they had more years of no arguments or tension and more freedom.

[Iphone90]

Thanks for the replies. I have been trying to keep them happy but it just can't be done. And this has caused me to be unhappy in the process. Not sure what to do yet then but thanks

[FernBritanica]

Tbh I think you need to talk to her, I mean really really talk, to understand what's going on in her head. Either by yourselves or (probably more productively) in a counselling session. Good luck.